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From my experience the more body modifications beyond pierced ears, the more likely someone is to be bat **** crazy. So its a type of red flag for me, but I also think there are some people for whom it signals more of a beacon as in I am bit off and you are bit off, maybe we are members of the same tribe.
I've also found that what I used to think, that people who stand out visually were legit freaks flying their freak flags with pride, ain't necessarily so. Some of the weirdest people I've ever known, have looked the most normal. The guy I talked about as one of the weirdest I ever dated, who had the mannequin in his living room, was VERY normal looking.
Then he started talking about his years as front man of a very popular local band and how much cocaine he did...I'm like...well then...
Members of the shock rock band GWAR are by and large, pretty normal looking guys...they also get totally weirded out if you try to talk to them about BDSM, despite the line from an early song that goes, "steel and leather, whips and chains..." They're not really that weird, at this point, they just play it on TV and the stage. You just never really know about people.
Are you familiar with signaling theory? An honest or costly signal is a signal that is costly or preferably impossible to face, so when a an Antelope sees the Jaguar and it starts leaping in the air, the Antelope is saying I see you and if I am healthy enough to leap in the air, even though you are faster than me, I can run pretty fast and with my lead, I might escape, much better to chase after some other Antelope. The jumping in this situation is an honest signal because if its injured it can't jump. Similarly, a peacocks tail is a pretty honest signal of the peacocks health. Its costly for it to put on such a huge display and not get eaten by predators so if it can pull that off its likely a healthy clever peacock.
I think a lot of our interactions are signaling. Body modification and such involves some costs, both in the form of pain from the piercings but also in the form of diminished employment opportunities. So I am seeming this as an honest signal of who the person is. There is no way I would get a labret, but I assume the people who do have a really good reason to find members of their tribe, which just isn't me.
Are you familiar with signaling theory? An honest or costly signal is a signal that is costly or preferably impossible to face, so when a an Antelope sees the Jaguar and it starts leaping in the air, the Antelope is saying I see you and if I am healthy enough to leap in the air, even though you are faster than me, I can run pretty fast and with my lead, I might escape, much better to chase after some other Antelope. The jumping in this situation is an honest signal because if its injured it can't jump. Similarly, a peacocks tail is a pretty honest signal of the peacocks health. Its costly for it to put on such a huge display and not get eaten by predators so if it can pull that off its likely a healthy clever peacock.
I think a lot of our interactions are signaling. Body modification and such involves some costs, both in the form of pain from the piercings but also in the form of diminished employment opportunities. So I am seeming this as an honest signal of who the person is. There is no way I would get a labret, but I assume the people who do have a really good reason to find members of their tribe, which just isn't me.
I have come to honestly feel a little sorry for people who liken human interactions, especially courtships, with the behaviors of other animals in the wild. There is vast variation in the mating behaviors of different species on our planet. I've watched hundreds of hours of nature documentaries, I'm a really big fan. I've also had sexual and romantic interactions with a lot of human beings.
The "evo-bio" talk has come to look a lot like trying to oversimplify something that is chaotic and unpredictable and assume one knows what's in the mind of another, because the chaotic and hard to understand reality is beyond their control, especially. By saying, "Look, people are just like animals" it simultaneously makes something less threateningly unknown, AND establishes a silly kind of pseudo-intellectual superiority for the speaker, as though he's David Attenborough narrating the movements of the dumb animals he observes, yet he stands above it all somehow.
We are just another kind of animal. But we are the smart animal. We've found ways to complicate things beyond the furthest imaginings of the rest of the creatures (who have limited imagination ability to begin with.) We are smart enough to create computers, cars, AI, margarine, and wall to wall carpet, yet hurr durr Erm uh anterlerpe, leapin in da airrrr... Dude. I mean really.
But hey. If it comforts thee, then by all means, I suppose.
I have come to honestly feel a little sorry for people who liken human interactions, especially courtships, with the behaviors of other animals in the wild. There is vast variation in the mating behaviors of different species on our planet. I've watched hundreds of hours of nature documentaries, I'm a really big fan. I've also had sexual and romantic interactions with a lot of human beings.
The "evo-bio" talk has come to look a lot like trying to oversimplify something that is chaotic and unpredictable and assume one knows what's in the mind of another, because the chaotic and hard to understand reality is beyond their control, especially. By saying, "Look, people are just like animals" it simultaneously makes something less threateningly unknown, AND establishes a silly kind of pseudo-intellectual superiority for the speaker, as though he's David Attenborough narrating the movements of the dumb animals he observes, yet he stands above it all somehow.
We are just another kind of animal. But we are the smart animal. We've found ways to complicate things beyond the furthest imaginings of the rest of the creatures (who have limited imagination ability to begin with.) We are smart enough to create computers, cars, AI, margarine, and wall to wall carpet, yet hurr durr Erm uh anterlerpe, leapin in da airrrr... Dude. I mean really.
But hey. If it comforts thee, then by all means, I suppose.
I have come to honestly feel a little sorry for people who liken human interactions, especially courtships, with the behaviors of other animals in the wild. There is vast variation in the mating behaviors of different species on our planet. I've watched hundreds of hours of nature documentaries, I'm a really big fan. I've also had sexual and romantic interactions with a lot of human beings.
The "evo-bio" talk has come to look a lot like trying to oversimplify something that is chaotic and unpredictable and assume one knows what's in the mind of another, because the chaotic and hard to understand reality is beyond their control, especially. By saying, "Look, people are just like animals" it simultaneously makes something less threateningly unknown, AND establishes a silly kind of pseudo-intellectual superiority for the speaker, as though he's David Attenborough narrating the movements of the dumb animals he observes, yet he stands above it all somehow.
We are just another kind of animal. But we are the smart animal. We've found ways to complicate things beyond the furthest imaginings of the rest of the creatures (who have limited imagination ability to begin with.) We are smart enough to create computers, cars, AI, margarine, and wall to wall carpet, yet hurr durr Erm uh anterlerpe, leapin in da airrrr... Dude. I mean really.
But hey. If it comforts thee, then by all means, I suppose.
I guess you've never heard of terms like "peacocking", especially related to men. Just because we have a big somewhat (usually) logical brain doesn't mean that we can't draw some low level parallels to other animals in the world.
I will agree that we do complicate things, more specifically because of our big brains. That poster talking about signaling is I'm sure correct on some level. I was never into studying human sociology and those types of subjects, but I'm sure that the "signaling" thing probably has some roots in our lizard brains. Maybe even higher up in the consciousness sphere, I don't know
I know that even though I'm a grown man of 50 that I still identify with a "tribe", the tribe of metalheads and hard rockers, crude as that may sound to some. We all signal our interests whether or not we are cognizant of it.
labret = piecing underneath the lip, like this (not her actual pic btw, found online):
Mod cut: copyright violation
I will admit that I have never dated a woman with either before. We have been talking on a dating site and she seems to want to go on a date. Just discovered this after we have been talking awhile. She has her piercings in all the time, although they weren't in her pics.
She is educated, has a good job, and we have common interests.
Never really was into nose rings in the distant past but must admit that I recently started to dig them. Not so sure about the labret though.
Would this be a silly reason not to go out with her?
A red flag for what? That this is a person who has nostril and labret piercings? Do elaborate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tgm4256
Some guys will say that women with piercings (other than ears) and tattoos are damaged goods.
Then the women with piercings are lucky they'll never have to deal with these guys, aren't they?
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00
It might indicate a thrill seeking or attention seeking kind of personality.
I have a tattoo and a body piercing. I think Im a mild adrenaline junkie and I think my "body art" reflects that part of my personality (not intentionally, it just happened organically in the course of my life)...also a bit impulsive, and not the church going type. If you want a very conservative church going girl who thinks going to clubs and drinking is sin, then a girl with piercings probably isnt for you.
My body modifications indicate that I am the type of personality who looks the way I want to look (and doesn't care what other people think; the way I look and the things I do are for me, not for other people, and anyone who thinks what other people do and look like is about them needs to get over themself). It has nothing to do with "adrenaline;" it has to do with the fact that I like them. I thought about it for a long time before getting them-- so no, not "impulsive"-- and I wear them to church with no issues. I'd be fine with drinking and going to clubs with or without metal in my body.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelato
From my experience the more body modifications beyond pierced ears, the more likely someone is to be bat **** crazy. So its a type of red flag for me, but I also think there are some people for whom it signals more of a beacon as in I am bit off and you are bit off, maybe we are members of the same tribe.
Funny, most of the batshyt-crazy people I knew looked pretty vanilla.
I've also found that what I used to think, that people who stand out visually were legit freaks flying their freak flags with pride, ain't necessarily so. Some of the weirdest people I've ever known, have looked the most normal. The guy I talked about as one of the weirdest I ever dated, who had the mannequin in his living room, was VERY normal looking.
Then he started talking about his years as front man of a very popular local band and how much cocaine he did...I'm like...well then...
Members of the shock rock band GWAR are by and large, pretty normal looking guys...they also get totally weirded out if you try to talk to them about BDSM, despite the line from an early song that goes, "steel and leather, whips and chains..." They're not really that weird, at this point, they just play it on TV and the stage. You just never really know about people.
Sure..."normal" looking people can be freaks. But outside of a few poseurs, there are fewer freaky looking people who are "normal", jmo. I mean there are a LOT of ways to be freaky, well beyond BDSM!
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Just because we have a big somewhat (usually) logical brain doesn't mean that we can't draw some low level parallels to other animals in the world.