Is it acceptable for a man to occasionally need affection? (women, single)

[Kronprinz]

I'm a single guy and I've always been pretty independent. I don't like to depend on others for anything and I do not delegate personal decisions on anyone - from the car I drive to the shirt I'm wearing - I make my own decisions.

I've got a busy job and there are two women I have sex with on occasion. It's really just for sex since they've got nothing to do with me personality wise.

Most of the time I enjoy being single and realise how fortunate I am for not having to deal with all the troubles and expectations that come with a serious relationship. The rest of the time, I'm usually too busy to care about this.

However, there are some days when work has been so tough and draining, that I get home and sit on the sofa feeling completely empty. At that moment, all I want is someone to hug me, to snuggle up with, to lean into. Nothing about sex, really just affection.

I usually feel ridiculous and less of a man for feeling this way when I've got pretty much all I want. Is this acceptable for a man?

[E-Twist]

It is acceptable. I suggest you get a dog, or possibly a cat. A goldfish might be more your type, but they don't like to cuddle.

[grassroots]

Maybe you don't have everything you want anymore. People grow up and needs change. Of course this is acceptable. It's quite normal, actually.

[rya96797]

only very occasionally, maybe once a year like a birthday. the rest of the time, he shpuld be shamed harshly publicly or online for being a wuss

[ChiGal7]

You sound totally normal to me.

Has someone told you at some point that it's not? Because clearly they're the ones with the issue, not you.

[The Dissenter]

Perfectly normal. I’m the same way but without the benefit of two willing women for occasional sex. The closest I have is a full body pillow but that is far from an adequate substitute.

[Petunia 100]

There are professional huggers out there, who make a living filling this very need.

Of course it is acceptable to need affection. It is a basic human need, common to most.

[reneeh63]

Maybe you have some idea that you're not human and therefore it is wrong to have completely normal human feelings?

When a guy asks stuff like then I wonder how a woman could ever relate to them and how he could relate to her...like how many guys are complete robots and for those who are, then they have no business even thinking about relationships beyond fbuddies.

You though, seem to have a tiny bit of emotional need that goes beyond what you're currently doing. Now, if you can also fathom offering similar support to a woman who occasionally needs a hug, then you may just be relationship material! Tread carefully!

[Kronprinz]

Originally Posted by reneeh63

Maybe you have some idea that you're not human and therefore it is wrong to have completely normal human feelings?

When a guy asks stuff like then I wonder how a woman could ever relate to them and how he could relate to her...like how many guys are complete robots and for those who are, then they have no business even thinking about relationships beyond fbuddies.

My (few) relationships have not been very successful so far but why wouldn't I be able to relate to a woman?

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Kronprinz

I'm a single guy and I've always been pretty independent. I don't like to depend on others for anything and I do not delegate personal decisions on anyone - from the car I drive to the shirt I'm wearing - I make my own decisions.

I've got a busy job and there are two women I have sex with on occasion. It's really just for sex since they've got nothing to do with me personality wise.

Most of the time I enjoy being single and realise how fortunate I am for not having to deal with all the troubles and expectations that come with a serious relationship. The rest of the time, I'm usually too busy to care about this.

However, there are some days when work has been so tough and draining, that I get home and sit on the sofa feeling completely empty. At that moment, all I want is someone to hug me, to snuggle up with, to lean into. Nothing about sex, really just affection.

I usually feel ridiculous and less of a man for feeling this way when I've got pretty much all I want. Is this acceptable for a man?

There are people these days, who offer a paid service of just hugs. It's not massage, it's not therapy, it's not sex: just hugs. You might try it.

Otherwise, the "troubles" and "expectations" of a relationship (expectations like--having someone to lean on and get hugs from when you need them?), aren't that much of a hassle, if you choose your partner wisely. Why are you seeing relationships only in negative terms?

It's sad that a man needs to ask if it's ok for a man to need hugs. Your definition of manhood seems very constricting. Throw off the straight-jacket, and live a fuller life!