Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No, but one of my good friends is divorced 3 times (last one was in 2011 or so) and she has absolutely no problems finding a boyfriend. I don't think she's ever been single more than two months in her life.
Nowadays she tells men she doesn't ever want to get married again, so she attracts the hoards of divorced men (1st or 3rd) who never want to marry again either. The y are a match made in heaven. lol
I've known many women who don't want to remarry even after only one divorce. They would welcome a male companion, including living together in a few cases. But marriage? No. These are all 50 on up year old working women who provide quite well for themselves They don't seem to have much luck finding a companion. They've told me all the men are either way to old, broke, unhealthy, domineering, or just not suitable for some other reason. Glad your friend had better luck.
I've known many women who don't want to remarry even after only one divorce. They would welcome a male companion, including living together in a few cases. But marriage? No. These are all 50 on up year old working women who provide quite well for themselves They don't seem to have much luck finding a companion. They've told me all the men are either way to old, broke, unhealthy, domineering, or just not suitable for some other reason. Glad your friend had better luck.
If I were to be single again after age 50 I wouldn't want to re-marry either. I would just want some men friends and that's it. Also, older women who have financial assets can be targets for scammers. They need to protect themselves.
If I were to be single again after age 50 I wouldn't want to re-marry either. I would just want some men friends and that's it. Also, older women who have financial assets can be targets for scammers. They need to protect themselves.
If I were to be single again after age 50 I wouldn't want to re-marry either. I would just want some men friends and that's it. Also, older women who have financial assets can be targets for scammers. They need to protect themselves.
If you are not having kids with someone is there really any reason to actually get married? Other than maybe religion?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,581,461 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
I married a single mom who has one divorce under her belt. No big deal. Her ex was the problem overall.
It’s not having an ex or being divorced that’s the problem IMO....it’s having babies & being a mom or dad...so....your wife will always have to communicate with her ex........
A divorce is Ok....or being engaged before......but babies can complicate stuff......& I like being in a relationship with no babies from the past this time....& the decision to have babies can be between the two of you & not ready made for you.....
I was a stepmom for a couple of yrs....it gets messy .....& it’s why my ex never told me about the baby until after we were married.......
Last edited by TashaPosh; 10-10-2019 at 08:23 AM..
I think most people who want to have kids at some point discuss that before deciding to get married. I agree if you are having kids with someone that marriage is still a good idea, because marriage provides some economic for the spouse who may say choose to take time off or just a lower paying job to spend time taking care of the kid, But if both of you know you are having kids together, I just don't see a reason other than religion to get married.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,581,461 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelato
I think most people who want to have kids at some point discuss that before deciding to get married. I agree if you are having kids with someone that marriage is still a good idea, because marriage provides some economic for the spouse who may say choose to take time off or just a lower paying job to spend time taking care of the kid, But if both of you know you are having kids together, I just don't see a reason other than religion to get married.
You don’t need babies IMO...or religion stuff.....to wanna be married & have a wedding to show your 💕 love & commitment to each other.....& to your friends & family.....
It’s a personal thing.....& their reasons don’t have to do with your opinion of marriage or your religion BUT...ita that 2 or 3 marriages would be a red flag for a relationship.....
Everybody claims it was their ex that was the problem.
Now, are we just supposed to believe that at face value when we're told that?
No. I want more information. And not only what I'm told, but how he tells it and what my instincts tell me during his telling of it, will inform my choices. Not only why the marriage ended, but what the underlying causes of the final problem were, or if the ex was really the problem, the how and why that they got together and stayed however long they did. Various factors.
Still...three divorces feels like the person might be in some way the kind who stubbornly refuses to accept the lessons that life is trying to teach them. Adversity can leave you damaged, or it can test you and make you stronger. I would want to observe some personal growth and evolution...but then I'm interested in the learning people have gained, no matter what path they walked to get it, too.
But I also have the benefit of feeling very confident in my ability to suss out what is true, and to read between lines. I may or may not believe what I am told. Depends on what my gut is telling me, because it's usually pretty accurate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelato
If you are not having kids with someone is there really any reason to actually get married? Other than maybe religion?
There are plenty of reasons besides babies or religion to get married. My sons are adults and I'm no longer able to have kids even if I wanted to, and I most assuredly do not. I'm very anti-religious, as well. Yet my fiance and I are planning marriage in the next year or so, because:
- We absolutely do plan to be together for what remains of our shared days alive in the world.
- We are happy and in love and want to celebrate this with our friends, and it will please his family.
- It hits the easy button on a bundle of benefits, probably tax benefits (though I still need to run numbers on that) and it makes it easier to have him on my insurance, to be present and helping if he has medical issues, it affects social security and inheritance matters.
And babies aren't even always a good reason to get married. I didn't legally marry the ex for 10 years despite having 2 kids with him. We lived like we were married, we felt married, but we didn't make it official because our tax situation made it more advantageous by far if we were not married, if I filed as a Head of Household with 2 kids, and he filed as just Single. (That has a lot to do with income brackets and EIC and various factors--you have to actually run the numbers, but I'm an accounting nerd and I love that stuff.) What changed this, was that he was going into the Army. I knew pretty early on that if we weren't married, he may have to live in the barracks, so that was a good enough reason...I found out later that there were a ton of benefits that soldiers only get if married, and that I would get as his wife. If there is a military member involved...marriage is almost a must.
It is just a very personal and situational decision.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.....& it’s why my ex never told me about the baby until after we were married.......
