Is it weird to be 30 and single? (husbands, attractive, friends)
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I think the physical activity stuff is over rated. All an older parent has to do is put their kid on a sports team. You can bond with your child in other ways. Playing ball with them isn't everything. And even if it is, most people I know in their 50s are not so decrepit yet, that they can't get out and toss a ball around with their kid. Many young parents are so wrapped up in their careers, working 80 hours a week, that they pay someone else to play ball with the kid.
If you had the opportunity to redo your life would you have waited as long as you did to have kids or would you have had your kids when you were younger?
Because I see having kids in my 40's sort like the decision to have an abortion. I would prefer to never have an abortion if I could avoid it, but if I had no other options I still might do it. But I wouldn't intentionally set out to have an abortion and I wouldn't intentionally arrange my life to have kids in my 40's if I could avoid it.
I see a lot of compromises involved in IVF if you go that route. Its expensive. You likely need donor eggs. The father with his increasing age is more likely to have kids with birth defects. In your 40's you aren't sleeping as well, you don't have the strength and stamina for dealing with midnight feedings. I am not saying its impossible, I mean sometimes grandparents will raise their grandchildren. But its not something I would set out to do if I could avoid it.
If you had the opportunity to redo your life would you have waited as long as you did to have kids or would you have had your kids when you were younger?.
It's not about waiting. People often don't have the right set of circumstances in their life to start a family, so they either have to have them older or never have them. You are mistaken to believe that most people intentionally set out to have children in their forties. But I'm glad now that I wasn't saddled with kids in my twenties. My friends were stuck at home and miserable watching the rest of us go out, date around, and travel while we still young. While my friends were changing diapers. Now those same women are in their 50s, divorced and going out to clubs, trying to compete with 25 year old women. And the men are looking at the 25 year olds. While I'm sure these women are relieved their children are grown, the singles scene really is not for them. I would be embarrassed to be doing what they're doing now at their age. It must be frustrating to be middle-aged and trying desperately to get male attention in a room full of 20 and 30-something year old women.
fair enough we just see the world really differently.
I just don't see having children in your 40s in any way comparable to abortion. That's totally bizarre.
But if people want to go around believing they will win awards for having children in their 20s, hey, let 'em think that. Who am I to stand in their way.
If you had the opportunity to redo your life would you have waited as long as you did to have kids or would you have had your kids when you were younger?
Because I see having kids in my 40's sort like the decision to have an abortion. I would prefer to never have an abortion if I could avoid it, but if I had no other options I still might do it. But I wouldn't intentionally set out to have an abortion and I wouldn't intentionally arrange my life to have kids in my 40's if I could avoid it.
I see a lot of compromises involved in IVF if you go that route. Its expensive. You likely need donor eggs. The father with his increasing age is more likely to have kids with birth defects. In your 40's you aren't sleeping as well, you don't have the strength and stamina for dealing with midnight feedings. I am not saying its impossible, I mean sometimes grandparents will raise their grandchildren. But its not something I would set out to do if I could avoid it.
Believe it or not, although I have women friends in their 40s, single, that had their kids and some much grown...now that they're single again...they said they wouldn't be completely opposed to having kids...still..even in their mid-40s. They even were kind of surprised I didn't want any...given my age.
I have a 55 year old single female friend that's open to adopting. I asked her what's stopping her from doing it now...you don't need a guy around for that, right? ( I think you can adopt if you're single, yes?)
She said she'd rather have a partner to raise an adopted kid with. One time she was turned off by a guy that had vasectomy. Apparently, to her, that's seen as almost "anti-kid" if you went as far to get snipped. That it was just off-putting to her that he went that far to avoid having kids.
I have a 55 year old single female friend that's open to adopting. I asked her what's stopping her from doing it now...you don't need a guy around for that, right? ( I think you can adopt if you're single, yes?).
You can but it's very hard to adopt at age 55, as many agencies have age limits. She might be able to foster an older teenager though. The state would give her money to help her with that. I know a single woman who fosters kids. I can understand why she would want a partner before taking on the task of raising child. It's not easy to be a single parent, there are challenges. Adoption can be very expensive too, costing many thousands of dollars. It would help to have a partner and two incomes to meet the costs. I personally would rather have not kids at all, than go it alone. I just wanted a partner to help me raise kids.
If she is put off my a man who's had a vasectomy, then obviously, these two aren't right for each other. One wants kids, the other doesn't. There is no real compromise for that.
You can but it's very hard to adopt at age 55, as many agencies have age limits. She might be able to foster an older teenager though. The state would give her money to help her with that. I know a single woman who fosters kids. I can understand why she would want a partner before taking on the task of raising child. It's not easy to be a single parent, there are challenges. Adoption can be very expensive too, costing many thousands of dollars. It would help to have a partner and two incomes to meet the costs. I personally would rather have not kids at all, than go it alone. I just wanted a partner to help me raise kids.
I think can actually foster if you're single, right? Just not really adopt?
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
I think can actually foster if you're single, right? Just not really adopt?
How did the O.P.s question go to fostering & adopting?
It’s not weird to be single & 30 IMO......some decide not to get married or not to have babies.......
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