Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think can actually foster if you're single, right? Just not really adopt?
You can foster as a single mom and adopt as a single mom. But when I went to an Edna Gladney seminar, they said at the time, they didn't allow single men to adopt children.
I wouldnt trade places with my friends though, who had kids in their 20s. I got to date, travel, pursue higher education, a lot of things I wouldnt have been able to do if I were a parent.
Same here. My friends who married in their early 20s, were all miserable after a couple of years, after the initial excitement of showing off their engagement ring had worn off. And they were stuck at home with an infant and watching their other young friends go out and date around. And they were still young and attractive but were stuck with a man they didn't like anymore. I think monogamy is okay for being older, but when I was young I would have hated it.
Last edited by PriscillaVanilla; 11-24-2019 at 03:53 PM..
I stayed single until my 40s then I met Mr. Right.
There shouldn't be any pressure to be married at a certain age. When the time is right it will happen. If it never happens, so be it-----some people are happier when they're alone.
If you are 30 years old and single, is that weird? The reason why I ask this is because I’m going to be in grad school until I’m 27, and I am not going to be in any hurry to find anyone from there. I’m going to be busy getting my career going. I also feel that there are so many things that I wanna do and so much money that I need to make before I can be with someone.
No. Everything in life is a choice. If being single is what you want then who cares what others think?
Id say about 85% of the people i know or went to school with, got married and or had kids in their early 20s.
I was in a LTR from age 23-30, and have been steadily single since then with some dates sprinkled in here or there.
I think it isn't the status-quo but it is an al too familiar fate for some that people cannot ignore.
It stings. It makes you wonder, what is wrong with you. What could have done different. To me, anyways, it's instills a pretty harsh reality on oneself.
In short, it's not thew normal, but it happens, and happens probably too often.
Yeah,
Kind of makes you wonder about those people who married their HS sweethearts were foolish enough to not entertain OTHER options while in college.
I mean, who of the right mind would NOT think of options outside their first and only boyfriend or girlfriend??
I recall these 2 HS seniors that were getting married right after graduation. Friend told me they were happy for them.....and I was like, "You know, marriages of couples that young, typically have a high failure rate "
Of course, she was biased as my friend was also about to take the marriage dive before drinking age.
This is true of the men maybe, but what about the women? Who pays for their grad school tuition? Virtually all of the women I knew in grad school had husbands/fiances who paid their bills.
It was true of the women as well. I observed the same when I worked at a university. Of the very few couples I knew of in grad school over the years, both had to work; no one had a meal ticket. Nobody in their 20's had enough money to pay for someone else's grad school tuition, not to mention the living expenses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by throwaway111;
Single, or unmarried (two VERY different things)? I don't know where you two went to grad school, but where I went, I was one of the few single people. In a program that was 80% female, almost all of the women were either married, engaged, or in long-term relationships. By the time I graduated, nearly all of these women were married (usually around 27). Only the most unattractive ones were still available (shocking, I know). I don't mean a little overweight or bad acne or something, I mean Quasimodo's uglier sister level unattractiveness.
Sounds like you went to grad school in a very old-fashioned, traditional part of the US.
Same here. My friends who married in their early 20s, were all miserable after a couple of years, after the initial excitement of showing off their engagement ring had worn off. And they were stuck at home with an infant and watching their other young friends go out and date around. And they were still young and attractive but were stuck with a man they didn't like anymore. I think monogamy is okay for being older, but when I was young I would have hated it.
The men get stuck with women, too; both people are more likely to regret an early marriage.
OP - it's reversed. Getting married before 30 (before each person has an established career) is more weird than being 30 and single.
Depends where you are. If you're in Utah, Idaho, or Wyoming or you're a Mormon, then yeah, it's very unusual to be a 30 year old man and still single. Otherwise, it's perfectly normal. But yeah, I have a lot of friends (guys, even!) who married before 25 years old--and for the record, only one of them is Mormon!
I think it's different if you're a 30 year old woman and still single. Women are expected to marry younger. Up until recently it seems like there was a slight stigma to be 30+ years old, female, and never married. But hey, what do I know about a woman's experience? I'm a straight man.
I'm a 29-year-old single woman. Like you I'm in grad school, I also lived all over the country in my 20s so it's been hard to date longterm over the past few years, when most of my friends are meeting guys and getting engaged. I hate to say it but I agree with the poster above in that it's probably easier for men to be 30 and single. I just mean that as a female I get asked and pressured about getting married more and I don't think a 29-year-old guy would have that happen as often. Women also have to worry about their "fertile" years to have kids. Generally it seems ideal to finish having kids by your mid-ish 30s (although my mom had three kids in her mid-late 30s so I don't think it's as big of an issue as society makes it seem). But people like to remind you of your "biological clock." I have one 31 year old friend who had her eggs frozen because she was so anxious about it.
I guess the main thing I've noticed is the older you get (late 20s and early 30s I imagine) you become more and more of the outlier being single. However ultimately you just have to own who you are and your story. I have a drop dead gorgeous female cousin who is 32 and single, the point is, everyone has a different story, don't feel "weird" just because you're doing things different than people around you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
