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Just to clarify, this was my first conversation (ever) with this particular woman. Are you saying I should have offered a date right off the bat?
Well, it sounds like you were trying to make it clear you weren't hard up by immediately saying you were doing something with friends...maybe that was offputting?
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:
Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in
And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.
I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
That's not so bad. I'd rather talk to people in person than do everything online.
I agree that more effort could have been put into the conversation -- "staying in" could have been followed with "looking forward to reading xxx book" or "catching up on . . . , taking a hike . . . going to the gym" She sounds dull.
People often make cliche comments about my occupation but I understand they are trying their best to carry the conversation so I don't mind.
Last edited by Maddie104; 10-20-2019 at 04:38 PM..
Two things here. First, this seems to be texting in general, whether to a date, friend, co-worker, vendor, etc. You ask 3 questions and you'll get 1 or 2 answers. If you want every question answered you need to ask them one at a time. And if you want a response to a comment you had best put a question mark at the end of it that clearly calls for a response.
Second, in this case it sounds like she was fishing for an invite or request for a date. It could be she doesn't wish to chit chat via text. Ask her if you can call her or ask her out, if you are interested.
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:
Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in
And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.
I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
I don’t know, but that looks like the conversations I get in with men from online so .....
I like your response, but maybe you are loading too much into one sentence? She asked about your plans not your profession. Personally, it feels like a little too much in response to your plans. It might be more appropriate to leave this for later when the conversation naturally goes to profession.
Sometimes it's good to take a step back and ask why YOU are getting this response. It's like walking up to a stranger and quickly asking as many questions you can in one breath. Relax.
I agree with this.
We have no idea why the last few women you've texted have been like this, unless all your texts are like the one you posted. But you can't generalize like that.
Next time force yourself to limit each text to one idea/piece of info. See if anything changes.
Your "out of the game so long" comment is a cheap shot.
I think most women over 40 have busy careers and honestly typing is really not how I prefer to communicate. I would rather talk on the phone. It's better to gauge someone's personality vs email or texting...both of which are very impersonal.
I think most women over 40 have busy careers and honestly typing is really not how I prefer to communicate. I would rather talk on the phone. It's better to gauge someone's personality vs email or texting...both of which are very impersonal.
Ok, that is what I was thinking. I didn't mention age to be insulting, but I think people of different ages do have different preferences for communicating. People in their 20s do everything via text these days so I would guess they would have harder time carrying a conversation on the phone.
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