Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,216,098 times
Reputation: 50368

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by ansky View Post
Just to clarify, this was my first conversation (ever) with this particular woman. Are you saying I should have offered a date right off the bat?
Well, it sounds like you were trying to make it clear you weren't hard up by immediately saying you were doing something with friends...maybe that was offputting?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:29 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,307,806 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by ansky View Post
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:

Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in

And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.

I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
That's not so bad. I'd rather talk to people in person than do everything online.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:30 PM
 
3,077 posts, read 1,552,626 times
Reputation: 8150
I agree that more effort could have been put into the conversation -- "staying in" could have been followed with "looking forward to reading xxx book" or "catching up on . . . , taking a hike . . . going to the gym" She sounds dull.

People often make cliche comments about my occupation but I understand they are trying their best to carry the conversation so I don't mind.

Last edited by Maddie104; 10-20-2019 at 04:38 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:34 PM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,069,618 times
Reputation: 29347
Two things here. First, this seems to be texting in general, whether to a date, friend, co-worker, vendor, etc. You ask 3 questions and you'll get 1 or 2 answers. If you want every question answered you need to ask them one at a time. And if you want a response to a comment you had best put a question mark at the end of it that clearly calls for a response.


Second, in this case it sounds like she was fishing for an invite or request for a date. It could be she doesn't wish to chit chat via text. Ask her if you can call her or ask her out, if you are interested.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,715,742 times
Reputation: 28561
Quote:
Originally Posted by ansky View Post
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:

Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in

And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.

I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
I don’t know, but that looks like the conversations I get in with men from online so .....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,298,253 times
Reputation: 25947
Why don't you try to meet this women in person?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,613,835 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty99 View Post
I like your response, but maybe you are loading too much into one sentence? She asked about your plans not your profession. Personally, it feels like a little too much in response to your plans. It might be more appropriate to leave this for later when the conversation naturally goes to profession.

Sometimes it's good to take a step back and ask why YOU are getting this response. It's like walking up to a stranger and quickly asking as many questions you can in one breath. Relax.
I agree with this.

We have no idea why the last few women you've texted have been like this, unless all your texts are like the one you posted. But you can't generalize like that.

Next time force yourself to limit each text to one idea/piece of info. See if anything changes.

Your "out of the game so long" comment is a cheap shot.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Morrison, CO
34,128 posts, read 18,381,144 times
Reputation: 25701
Have you tried Ancient Greek, or Latin?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 04:47 PM
 
1,158 posts, read 949,916 times
Reputation: 3279
I think most women over 40 have busy careers and honestly typing is really not how I prefer to communicate. I would rather talk on the phone. It's better to gauge someone's personality vs email or texting...both of which are very impersonal.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-20-2019, 05:09 PM
 
Location: NJ
4,940 posts, read 12,092,370 times
Reputation: 4562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie682 View Post
I think most women over 40 have busy careers and honestly typing is really not how I prefer to communicate. I would rather talk on the phone. It's better to gauge someone's personality vs email or texting...both of which are very impersonal.
Ok, that is what I was thinking. I didn't mention age to be insulting, but I think people of different ages do have different preferences for communicating. People in their 20s do everything via text these days so I would guess they would have harder time carrying a conversation on the phone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top