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I can understand why some people prefer to hear a voice before meeting. It makes them feel more comfortable.
However, the few times I've caved in and agreed to talk to someone over the phone, it has NOT lead to meeting in person. I've decided I wasn't interested.
Maybe I should do MORE talking on the phone to weed out the duds, but I just hate it. Talking on the the phone with a total stranger seems awkward to me. I don't know why it seems more awkward than hanging out with a total stranger in a starbucks, it just does.
I play the safety card as long as I can. If you don't want to talk on the phone, don't.
And I NEVER get involved in text convos. TExting might be for facilitating the connection, such as "I parked on the street and I'm here in Starbucks in a red hat" but never for chit chat. I don't like to text chat with people I DO know.
If you met these same people in person at Starbucks before you spoke with them on the phone, do you think they would have been duds as dates as well?
I am definitely looking for someone with pretty strong verbal skills. If she can't carry on a phone conversation, lets screen that person out pretty quickly. If she can carry on a phone conversation, you have a much better idea about chemistry. You can figure out if you have similar senses of humor. Moreover the people serious enough about dating to give you there phone number are all a lot less flaky.
I'm a late 50's gal who is back on Match after an almost 10 month hiatus.
The pickings are slim, but I'm getting a few "likes".
Met one guy last week who insisted on getting my phone number right off the bat, saying he wanted to text and also call and hear my voice. I assured him I wasn't a dude and preferred our communication to be via email until we met up.
Fast forward to this week and I've matched with another guy who gave me his number after one email. Told him same thing... texting has a sense of immediacy and in my experience the guy just wants a texting or a sexting relationship. Gasp! I do declare, at our age! At least guy #2 was very respectful.
Is this now the norm? Do I need to give out my number right away or potentially lose out on the love of my life? I'm writing that sarcastically as I already know I'm destined to be alone with my dog until one of us goes to the great dog park in the sky.
BTW, I've selected their Match Phone feature to where guys can contact me through a Match provided phone # (I'm sure privacy goes out the window). But anyway, I'm more interested in other's feedback regarding getting someone's number after one email. Yay, internet dating!
I think everything is very un-intimate now. You can have a total relationship with texting alone and never speak to someone. We used to have to get a number and actually call someone, which was kind of awkward. Texting is easy and takes the awkwardness out of it for awhile, until you finally speak on the phone.
There are quite a few opinions on this. Everyone has their own way of handling the phone number thing, what works for them, and they know what they are comfortable with. Gotta do what is best for you.
There are quite a few opinions on this. Everyone has their own way of handling the phone number thing, what works for them, and they know what they are comfortable with. Gotta do what is best for you.
So true. I’m not going to miss out on the perfect match just because I don’t want to talk on the phone either. That’s not going to change down the line, so what am I missing out on.
So true. I’m not going to miss out on the perfect match just because I don’t want to talk on the phone either. That’s not going to change down the line, so what am I missing out on.
I find it’s mostly because they want to make sure you are who you say you are, not spam or scam. I don’t mind giving my phone number out after a few messages, actually they get it if they give me theirs and I reply, and that’s only if I think there’s a possibility of a connection.
I’ve never correlated getting my phone number as a trigger to turn someone into nutjob. Blocking has never been easier.
So yes, I’d say it’s a pretty normal request. Also when they are the ones who give their number, I can do a little detective work of my own.
I do very similar. Once we hit 100ish messages in the app, then I'll go for the phone number, proffering mine first. This is a litmus test of sorts to see if they're serious, and allows to everyone to do a little google-fu to see if they line up with who they say they are.
I also prefer to talk by phone before meeting, I can't handle annoying voices or heavy vocal fry and I'd hate to waste their time.
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