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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
35,607 posts, read 17,927,273 times
Reputation: 50631
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AvrilLavigne
@El Chingaso: no, I'm European (Still, I can't rule out to date an American/Brit in a more distant future and he would exactly get this type of speech!)
Can you explain what exactly makes it very strange speech?
Other people who also expressed your view, are also invited to answer
What does it resemble?
Too perfect to be natural?
Too long-winded?
Travel docu language?
Too much info at the moment?
Teacher language?
Sentences too long?
I try to figure it out but you all make me so clueless
So English isn't your first language?
That might make a difference, IMHO. I have friends who are german, and my grandmother was English, and she may have used some of the same syntax you use. Obviously an english speaker, but more formal than american English.
But to me, it's more the line of topics. Once you talked about coffee, and he agreed he also didn't drink coffee, it seems you could have said "is it the caffeine? Do you not care for caffeine? And then he could have said oh I drink tea and sodas. Just don't care for coffee. In fact, though, I am trying to get off sodas - too much sugar. Sugar is the new fat". etc. Rather than your question that doesn't he think it's odd, that someone who doesn't drink coffee would buy that as gifts, although I've never tasted it? That doesn't open the way for conversation.
And when you talked about your trip, and the lizard, and ended with a question about how HE would have caught a lizard, moving fast or slow, it seems it would have been MUCH more typical for you to end your statement about your travel with the question, "how about you? Did you travel this year"?
That might make a difference, IMHO. I have friends who are german, and my grandmother was English, and she may have used some of the same syntax you use. Obviously an english speaker, but more formal than american English.
I am German and have been around German speaking English in the US for many years and even I found everything odd on this conversation. The words. The topic.
If European, it made me think of Britain because it is more formal.
But to me, it's more the line of topics. Once you talked about coffee, and he agreed he also didn't drink coffee, it seems you could have said "is it the caffeine? Do you not care for caffeine? And then he could have said oh I drink tea and sodas. Just don't care for coffee. In fact, though, I am trying to get off sodas - too much sugar. Sugar is the new fat". etc. Rather than your question that doesn't he think it's odd, that someone who doesn't drink coffee would buy that as gifts, although I've never tasted it? That doesn't open the way for conversation.
And when you talked about your trip, and the lizard, and ended with a question about how HE would have caught a lizard, moving fast or slow, it seems it would have been MUCH more typical for you to end your statement about your travel with the question, "how about you? Did you travel this year"?
absolutely!!!! Just everything in this conversation is just off and that is maybe why he was passive, wondering why she would talk like that.
Getting a bit ridiculous here people. My gf's European l'm Australian European but l wouldn't change the way she talks in English and some of the ways she says things for anything.
You guys would be soooooo screwed if you can't even handle the few simple things op's tried to say. Don't you have a large multi cultural mix in the states you must hear this sort of thing all the time it's perfectly normal if someones native language isn't English.
And l can promise ya , if you got it together then the way you both say things won't stop it, Might mess up a few things we have some classic mix ups , some we don't figure out until wks later but eh , keeps us on our toes and can be really funny too.
Anyway op. seems you have some cool things in common why not, give it another date or two, see what happens maybe he picks up. But language won't stop it if you are into each other.
Getting a bit ridiculous here people. My gf's European l'm Australian European but l wouldn't change the way she talks in English and some of the ways she says things for anything.
You guys would be soooooo screwed if you can't even handle the few simple things op's tried to say. Don't you have a large multi cultural mix in the states you must hear this sort of thing all the time it's perfectly normal if someones native language isn't English.
And l can promise ya , if you got it together then the way you both say things won't stop it, Might mess up a few things we have some classic mix ups , some we don't figure out until wks later but eh , keeps us on our toes and can be really funny too.
Anyway op. seems you have some cool things in common why not, give it another date or two, see what happens maybe he picks up. But language won't stop it if you are into each other.
Hawk, I think it's in the nature of a few people on this message board to pick apart dialogue till the cows come home. I scrolled passed all that mess where they were trying to interpret whatever was being typed. Got off topic really.
OP speech pattern is normal European and sounds a bit strange to us common English folks. Perfectly ok for her. She did lead the talking but she had to because he doesn't know how to initiate and lead convo on a date. She did a good job bringing up dozens of topics he could have jumped on.
Convo is often awkward on first dates. It's not a red flag, it's a yellow flag. One good thing, he's not trying to impress her by bragging about his accomplishments. He can barely think of something to say.
They need to break into casual mode, just like OP is chatting with us on this thread. That's why I suggest doing something casual if there is a next meetup. See if he can become his normal self.
As a dating tip, the best approach for the man is to keep talk fun and lite and ask her the most questions and only talk about himself when she asks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101
Getting a bit ridiculous here people. My gf's European l'm Australian European but l wouldn't change the way she talks in English and some of the ways she says things for anything.
You guys would be soooooo screwed if you can't even handle the few simple things op's tried to say. Don't you have a large multi cultural mix in the states you must hear this sort of thing all the time it's perfectly normal if someones native language isn't English.
And l can promise ya , if you got it together then the way you both say things won't stop it, Might mess up a few things we have some classic mix ups , some we don't figure out until wks later but eh , keeps us on our toes and can be really funny too.
Anyway op. seems you have some cool things in common why not, give it another date or two, see what happens maybe he picks up. But language won't stop it if you are into each other.
I agree. Ive dated European people, they tend to have a more elaborate and formal way of speaking compared to Americans (or Australians).
My guess is OP is a European expat living in the US or Australia, or New Zealand. I wouldnt advise her to dumb herself down for the masses. Her style of expression is unique and thats a good thing.
You should date my co-worker, he'd talk your damn brains right the heck out of your head. I mean just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
You'd just have to be sure to nod in the right places like I do when I space out after awhile.
On a serious note dump this guy, life is too short for someone without an opinion.
I guess I'm feeling annoyed today. I got "talked at" all day today.
Everything about it is unnatural. It's like a robot trying to emulate human casualness.
"And indeed, one could buy coffee products."
Just, off. Of course one can buy coffee, its how people get it. I mean, just, stilted.
"I have seen lizards" instead of "I saw lizards"
"I know its popular these coffee products" instead of "I know people love coffee"
If English is your second language, or you're using a translator, it makes sense. I have no doubt in your native tongue it flows more smoothly.
Right!? If this is how conversations flow between you two, OP, he may be checked out or disinterested. The example you provided reads like a 6th grader’s attempt at an informative essay. Just...odd. It doesn’t register as formal or sophisticated at all in diction and grammar. It comes off oddly phrased and stilted.
It sounds like he was nervous and was playing it safe by parroting you.
He might have also bought into the horrible dating advice that the man should defer 75% of the conversation to the woman.
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(Still, I can't rule out to date an American/Brit in a more distant future and he would exactly get this type of speech!)
