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I wouldn't be "hurt" if a man told me he could never love another woman again the way he loved his ex. I would just choose to move on to someone else. i might be upset initially, but I wouldn't call it deep hurt or anything like that. At the same time, I would never tell a man that I couldn't love anyone as much as I loved my ex. There would really be no real reason to divulge that information, unless I wanted to push the person away. I don't compartmentalize people that way and I also wouldn't want him to feel he had to compete with a memory. In a similar vein, I used to have a female friend who made it clear to me that we were not "best friends" and by the time she went through a crisis, I no longer felt close to her and couldn't be there for her anymore. She had pushed me away too many times. I wondered why her bestie wasn't there for her, but that person never seemed to materialize.
Last edited by PriscillaVanilla; 11-19-2019 at 01:15 PM..
There are so many people out there who seem to believe that having sex early on is a good thing in order to find out if the people are "sexually compatible". They figure that if they're NOT compatible, then there's no point in going forward with a relationship. But how often does that really happen?
For the majority of people who are leaving their partner because of "sexual incompatibility", that incompatibility happens YEARS later, and, quite often, the "incompatibility" is a byproduct of incompatibility in other major areas.
Personally, I'd rather stick to my guns, and spend a significant amount of time getting to know someone before jumping in the sack with them. In all honesty, it really doesn't take that long to start figuring out what you like/don't like about someone.
Mink,
I think you have your head on straight. Trouble in the bedroom is almost always because of trouble elsewhere in the marriage.
I find it interesting that although I stated I believed it was better to wait for marriage to become intimate, people got very defensive and seemingly angry about it. I didn't tell them what to do, I just stated what I believed. They're free to disagree with me. Why the anger?
I'm also glad I'm not in the dating game right now. If my husband were die before me, I don't know if I'd get married again or not. I suppose it would depend on my age. I hope I go first.
Mink,
I think you have your head on straight. Trouble in the bedroom is almost always because of trouble elsewhere in the marriage.
I find it interesting that although I stated I believed it was better to wait for marriage to become intimate, people got very defensive and seemingly angry about it. I didn't tell them what to do, I just stated what I believed. They're free to disagree with me. Why the anger?
Yeah, we're free to disagree.
In today's society when many people don't even marry until their 30s or older, waiting for marriage to have sex is quite unrealistic. Even the people who claim they were "virgins" on their wedding night have, in fact, engaged in certain types of sexual activities, in most cases.
The ideals of chastity and purity have mainly been imposed on women in our society, in some countries, even forced on them. There are even doctors here in the US who will do "virginity checks" on young girls if the parents request it. Women can even be murdered or jailed for having sex outside of marriage in some countries. Our society only shames women for pre-marital sex, men get a free pass.
Waiting until marriage for sex is someone else's moral code but it's not everyone's moral code, and it shouldn't have to be everyone's moral code.
I've heard quite a few women, particularly religious ones, boast about how they were "pure" on their wedding night. And frankly, nobody really cares. It is not an accomplishment. Sadly, these women may realize that at some point in their life, that truly nobody cares.
Last edited by PriscillaVanilla; 11-19-2019 at 02:56 PM..
Mink,
I think you have your head on straight. Trouble in the bedroom is almost always because of trouble elsewhere in the marriage.
I find it interesting that although I stated I believed it was better to wait for marriage to become intimate, people got very defensive and seemingly angry about it. I didn't tell them what to do, I just stated what I believed. They're free to disagree with me. Why the anger?
I'm also glad I'm not in the dating game right now. If my husband were die before me, I don't know if I'd get married again or not. I suppose it would depend on my age. I hope I go first.
Face it, the mainstream endemic culture between the sexes in the United States is now totally kittened. I feel sorry for my sons attempts to navigate the current quagmire of political correctness, promiscuity, and decadence.
Face it, the mainstream endemic culture between the sexes in the United States is now totally kittened. I feel sorry for my sons attempts to navigate the current quagmire of political correctness, promiscuity, and decadence.
Oh your pooor poooor boys! Better save them from the evil decadence!
Somehow the younger generation figures things out better than the generation that preceded them.
Mink,
I think you have your head on straight. Trouble in the bedroom is almost always because of trouble elsewhere in the marriage.
I find it interesting that although I stated I believed it was better to wait for marriage to become intimate, people got very defensive and seemingly angry about it. I didn't tell them what to do, I just stated what I believed. They're free to disagree with me. Why the anger?
I'm also glad I'm not in the dating game right now. If my husband were die before me, I don't know if I'd get married again or not. I suppose it would depend on my age. I hope I go first.
Are you talking about a different conversation? On this thread, no one got angry when you expressed your viewpoint. You even specifically thanked two people for being polite in their answers.
Face it, the mainstream endemic culture between the sexes in the United States is now totally kittened. I feel sorry for my sons attempts to navigate the current quagmire of political correctness, promiscuity, and decadence.
Yeah, and with the whole MeToo stuff running amuck, it's no wonder some men have to walk on eggshells when they flirt with a woman.
Yeah, and with the whole MeToo stuff running amuck, it's no wonder some men have to walk on eggshells when they flirt with a woman.
This outrage culture doesn't help either
I get pretty angry when people cite metoo as an impetus for the perception that men are being persecuted. Talk about sticking ones proverbial fingers in ones ears and humming loudly in order to prevent any hearing and understanding.
I wonder where the outrage comes from? (I really don't. Hyperbole.) I guess the people who express outrage must be making stuff up out of whole cloth. That MUST be it because, lord knows, there can't be anything of merit to the basis of the outrage!
As the Mom of 2 teen aged kids, one on the cusp of adulthood, I find young men not really walking on eggshells. There are some who still whine, me Ogh! Me want girl! Me want stick penis in girl! Why not girl let me! Stupid girls. There are some who still do all the outrageous things that have sparked the ghastly metoo conversation in the first place. But many genuinely get it. And many, many more young girls are not putting up with bull**** from their would be male partners. The notion that one gets their value from their boyfriend is starting to be a thing of the past. And I cheer that heartily!
I have a lot of faith in our young people to understand despite the lack of clear guidance from their supposed adults. I see these young adults forming relationships without a lot of the stupid religious and cultural baggage that a lot of people my age were saddled with. I see them embracing a pretty healthy attitude toward human sexuality without the crazy assumptions that come with the social vibe of my time. And it seems pretty good to me.
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I suppose it would depend on my age. I hope I go first.
