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You DOn't Hug In The Workplace ... if invited to do so, you think about it. Male or female. I don't hug people in the workplace. Outside of the workplace I might say, want a hug?
This **** is not that hard.
Oh, we were talking the work place? Didn't read that part.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,748,650 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
Are we talking friends or total strangers? I mean if a friend introduces me to someone brand new, I don't hug them and I don't know of anyone else that hugs someone they just met.
Define "seeking a hug"? There's this woman in our social circles....a board game group...that hugs all of us hello every time she sees us once a month. I don't complain and neither has anyone else. Of course, she knows us.
If someone hugs me, I hug 'em back, I don't think much about it.
There is no "definition", not everything is defined. It's a physical indicator, its body posture. And I would hope most people would have learned growing up that approaching someone, even someone you know casually, and trying to hug them without knowing if that's a potential trigger for them (which it is for many people) is a really bad idea, and hopefully they also know that a lack of complaint doesn't mean its ok either.
This is really simple. If you think someone may need or want a hug, you physically or verbally indicate it and let them hug you (and reciprocate in order) and don't foist it on them where they are in a situation where they feel like they need to hug you back. Boundaries people. Please.
DO you even know what "all this MeToo business" IS? Do you anticipate that for a thought or an idea to be valid, not everyone will see it?
In my opinion, people who don't understand what the hell MeToo even IS and that it has any relationship to "the art of flirting" are the ones who need the message loudest. If you think harassment and assault are flirting, you need this more than anyone else. That there are women out there who are still encased in the Og Caveman knock me over head and take me mindset is irrelevant.
Aren't you one of the dudes consistently on here complaining about inability to even get a date? I wonder why.
So to clarify, a guy masturbating in front of a woman subordinate he just called into his office is perhaps not considered innocent flirting? And on top of that, a man flirting with a woman subordinate without waving his dick around is also a bad idea?
This is all so confusing. And kind of inconvenient.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,748,650 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
So to clarify, a guy masturbating in front of a woman subordinate he just called into his office is perhaps not considered innocent flirting? And on top of that, a man flirting with a woman subordinate without waving his dick around is also a bad idea?
This is all so confusing. And kind of inconvenient.
Yeah, its like, damn, there goes my best pick up move
There is no "definition", not everything is defined. It's a physical indicator, its body posture. And I would hope most people would have learned growing up that approaching someone, even someone you know casually, and trying to hug them without knowing if that's a potential trigger for them (which it is for many people) is a really bad idea, and hopefully they also know that a lack of complaint doesn't mean its ok either.
Here's the thing that is missing from this learning growing up thing. Our social conversation around mating and dating has history. All the way back to things like property rights, inheritance and the need to prove lineage. Throw religion and its role in driving people away from genuine human values, and you get a wicked muddle. One of the things that is very inconsistent with this muddle is that women are PEOPLE. This is a reasonably new concept. Not only are they people, they get to choose. They are not just a thing to get.
This is the crux of the problem with conceiving of modern mating and dating as ok. The context is just absent. They genuinely don't GET that their thinking comes from a place that requires the subjugation of someone to get what they want.
It is not only women, gay/lesbian, bi, trans, poly people who are ... wait for it ... outraged. Cis het men everywhere are saying, hey I WANT genuine interpersonal and meaningful relationships that throw this hateful nonsense out.
Truth usually wins eventually. As does goodness. These fossils will die out eventually.
Quote:
This is really simple. If you think someone may need or want a hug, you physically or verbally indicate it and let them hug you (and reciprocate in order) and don't foist it on them where they are in a situation where they feel like they need to hug you back. Boundaries people. Please.
So to clarify, a guy masturbating in front of a woman subordinate he just called into his office is perhaps not considered innocent flirting? And on top of that, a man flirting with a woman subordinate without waving his dick around is also a bad idea?
This is all so confusing. And kind of inconvenient.
These examples are obvious to anyone. People don't see the examples that are equally destructive but don't involve waving genitals around. And it is sad and a bit scary.
You clearly are not paying attention at the training you have been provided.
It doesn’t matter that she can touch a mans arm or shoulder or tell him a dirty joke
You CLEARLY haven't been paying attention to the training you have been provided.[/quote]
Oh I paid attention
And learned that if guys are talking sports
At the water cooler that can be alienation of women
Around them and a form of harassment
The facilitators asked the ladies to leave
And laid it out hard on the men in the room
Said the laws lean heavily in the woman’s favor
Just the way that it is
We use to go out to lunch .. the facilitators said in this day
Of I phones don’t go out to lunch even in a group
I find it ironic- in this day of the high powered
Woman. A man has to treat them like
Defenseless little girls
And yes I do know why the laws are here in the first place
I do abide
By them
I tell the guys that work for me - this is a place of business
Not a locker room - treat the ladies how
You’d want businessmen treating your daughters
But also keep your distance of anything personal
And never compliment them
I read somewhere that a journalist got offended that a government official she had planned on interviewing had asked that the interview be chaperoned in a sense. So you could say he took a noble action on the side of the MeToo movement, only to have been demonized for it. AKA the Mike Pence effect (not being in the same room...alone...with another woman).
So even if they took action favor of this cause, he was still ridiculed for it. Catch 22.
You see, some are running too far with the MeToo movement for what it was INTENDED for. IE Taking your pants off in front of someone vs. harmless flirting.
Take this article about a burlesque performer that accused a manager for rape, when it was actually consentual
It actually all blew up in her face when HIS lawyer sued her and her troupe for false claims...and she had to put up a GoFundMe to get money raised for HER lawyer, which never reached goal obviously.
So we even have women lying. So we have all these he/said-she/said scenarios cropping up via the MeToo movement. These grey area moments and running with it. In some cases, it's women who feel bad about having had a one-night-stand and then just saying the guy just raped her.
You CLEARLY haven't been paying attention to the training you have been provided.
Oh I paid attention
And learned that if guys are talking sports
At the water cooler that can be alienation of women
Around them and a form of harassment
The facilitators asked the ladies to leave
And laid it out hard on the men in the room
Said the laws lean heavily in the woman’s favor
Just the way that it is
We use to go out to lunch .. the facilitators said in this day
Of I phones don’t go out to lunch even in a group
I find it ironic- in this day of the high powered
Woman. A man has to treat them like
Defenseless little girls
And yes I do know why the laws are here in the first place
I do abide
By them
I tell the guys that work for me - this is a place of business
Not a locker room - treat the ladies how
You’d want businessmen treating your daughters
But also keep your distance of anything personal
And never compliment them[/quote]
Who the hell are your "facilitators"? What even IS this facilitator thing? I have been in the corporate world for 30 years. This is Mod cut..
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-21-2019 at 10:14 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
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