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So I've been dating a guy for about two months, we are exclusive basically its a new relationship. He's divorced with two kids whom he has every Saturday night into Sunday evening. Long story short, I last spoke to him yesterday at 4pm, he called me while his kids were in ballet I told him I was going out for dinner at 6pm with a few girlfriends we had a short conversation and that was it. Didn't hear from him again (which is normal for a Sunday), and I ended up staying out pretty late so on my way home at around 11pm I called him (he typically goes to bed after midnight), because I was driving and my blue tooth was having trouble connecting i thought the call wasn't going through, so I ended up calling 3 times in a row, on the 3rd call I realized to put my phone on speaker and heard that the call was going through but his voicemail picked up, fine. Anytime I call him and he misses the call he'll call me back or at least text me, now it's the next morning at 10:40am and I still haven't heard from him. Also normally on Monday morning he'll text me before 10am because he has his kids late on Sundays we usually don't speak on Sunday nights. I can't help but freak out a bit now, I know I can text him but I feel like I basically called him 3 times last night and I still haven't heard from him, so don't want make it overkill. I know the kids are off from school today so it's possible they slept over last night again which would be the reason he didn't pick up the calls but I know he's at work now and not with them and I still haven't heard from him. I'm really just venting here because I'm freaking out a bit, this is the first somewhat serious relationship I've been in in quite some time, but as some of you already know I'm quick to panic so I kind of need to be talked off the ledge here lol.
I should say he's not great with texting in the first place but I think I've kind of figured out his texting habits by now. I might get one or two texts from him a day and one phone call (either he'll call me or I'll call him), that's our typical communication.
He doesn't have them today, he had them yesterday. It's a possibility they slept over again last night but I don't know that for sure, and today he's definitely at work so would've dropped them off at home by now.
I don't understand why you're freaking out; what's the concern, exactly? So he's a little late in responding to you today. Why is that precipitating a freak-out? There must be other reasons in the relationship, for your being this insecure over a relatively minor thing? Is there more to the picture?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I don't understand why you're freaking out; what's the concern, exactly? So he's a little late in responding to you today. Why is that precipitating a freak-out? There must be other reasons in the relationship, for your being this insecure over a relatively minor thing? Is there more to the picture?
Its been the same for years. Self esteem and anxiety issues aren't about rational concerns. Until these are addressed, they guys will change, but the freak outs or issues will remain the same.
I don't understand why you're freaking out; what's the concern, exactly? So he's a little late in responding to you today. Why is that precipitating a freak-out? There must be other reasons in the relationship, for your being this insecure over a relatively minor thing? Is there more to the picture?
Yes, there are reasons. For one I feel at this point we should be checking in more with each other, but I haven't brought that to his attention yet for fear of looking too clingy. Secondly we see each other twice a week and we live about 40 minutes from each other, it's usually me coming to him partially because there's just more to do in his area and he has bigger nicer place than I do, he has come to me a few times but its mostly me going out to him. And lastly, I just sometimes feel like he doesn't appreciate me enough, I've made this relationship very easy for him so far, I go with the flow and don't make waves. I know he works hard, and his kids take up a lot of his time and I'm very understanding of this, I just wish he'd acknowledge it.
He tells me all the time how much he likes me and how great I am and all that, but at this point I'm starting to feel like talk is cheap. He is a creature of habit and likes convenience, and I question if he really ever had to go out of his way for me, would he?
So I've been dating a guy for about two months, we are exclusive basically its a new relationship. He's divorced with two kids whom he has every Saturday night into Sunday evening. Long story short, I last spoke to him yesterday at 4pm, he called me while his kids were in ballet I told him I was going out for dinner at 6pm with a few girlfriends we had a short conversation and that was it. Didn't hear from him again (which is normal for a Sunday), and I ended up staying out pretty late so on my way home at around 11pm I called him (he typically goes to bed after midnight), because I was driving and my blue tooth was having trouble connecting i thought the call wasn't going through, so I ended up calling 3 times in a row, on the 3rd call I realized to put my phone on speaker and heard that the call was going through but his voicemail picked up, fine. Anytime I call him and he misses the call he'll call me back or at least text me, now it's the next morning at 10:40am and I still haven't heard from him. Also normally on Monday morning he'll text me before 10am because he has his kids late on Sundays we usually don't speak on Sunday nights. I can't help but freak out a bit now, I know I can text him but I feel like I basically called him 3 times last night and I still haven't heard from him, so don't want make it overkill. I know the kids are off from school today so it's possible they slept over last night again which would be the reason he didn't pick up the calls but I know he's at work now and not with them and I still haven't heard from him. I'm really just venting here because I'm freaking out a bit, this is the first somewhat serious relationship I've been in in quite some time, but as some of you already know I'm quick to panic so I kind of need to be talked off the ledge here lol.
I should say he's not great with texting in the first place but I think I've kind of figured out his texting habits by now. I might get one or two texts from him a day and one phone call (either he'll call me or I'll call him), that's our typical communication.
What you mean here is, "he doesn't text a lot, which I personally don't like." Lots of people in healthy relationships do not text each other much. You need to understand that this is a personal problem, and if it is truly that important to you that he text more, you need to communicate that to him. As opposed to "figuring out his texting habits," and panicking (your word) when you perceive him to be deviating from a pattern of communication that you have not yet discussed and agreed on with him, but rather, is only in your head.
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