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It sounds like she tried to convince herself about you and you were a guy there to support her and her kids. She probably felt it was wrong to lead you on and finally came clean. Her comment a month ago is a clue to that. She just isn't as into you as you are her. She could see you were heading towards marriage and you were a good boyfriend for now. So sorry, it's tough when reality hits you in the face.
Literally feel like I've lost family right here before the holidays. Seems almost unreal. We were practically best friends. I mean we're in our mid 30s and we would occasionally do childish things for fun. We would go swimming in my cousin's pool in the middle of the night while he was sleeping, stole a road sign(Named after my granddad, always wanted to do it), visited different cities together, NYC for her birthday since we had never been before. So many great memories. Rarely fought.
I want to believe that after a few weeks she will remember all the times we've had and maybe miss me at least a little but I feel like I'm just reaching for false hope. Sometimes I feel like I meant nothing to her.
It sounds like she tried to convince herself about you and you were a guy there to support her and her kids. She probably felt it was wrong to lead you on and finally came clean. Her comment a month ago is a clue to that. She just isn't as into you as you are her. She could see you were heading towards marriage and you were a good boyfriend for now. So sorry, it's tough when reality hits you in the face.
This is what I suspect also. Were you paying for all these trips and outings?
Perhaps she realized she needed you more than wanted you, and had the wisdom to realize that and make the hard decision in the best interests of herself and her family. No one wants to be in a loveless marriage no matter the material rewards.
Literally feel like I've lost family right here before the holidays. Seems almost unreal. We were practically best friends. I mean we're in our mid 30s and we would occasionally do childish things for fun. We would go swimming in my cousin's pool in the middle of the night while he was sleeping, stole a road sign(Named after my granddad, always wanted to do it), visited different cities together, NYC for her birthday since we had never been before. So many great memories. Rarely fought.
I want to believe that after a few weeks she will remember all the times we've had and maybe miss me at least a little but I feel like I'm just reaching for false hope. Sometimes I feel like I meant nothing to her.
I am sure she had some feelings for you for her to be with you for a year. Just not enough to justify moving in and going forward. I think she was being honest and she probably let it go on longer than she meant to.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I wouldn't consider it wasted time for either of you during the relationship. But right now she is a waste of time. Let her find someone else and you do the same.
For sake of argument, lets say she was not in love with you. Would you have rather she got married and years later divorced? Or to get out now, even if it was months later than it should have been? There are times when decisions are about minimizing loss rather than maximizing gain.
Put her and rest of her family on your phone's ignore list.
Amigo, let her go, it is the best thing for both of you. You cannot force someone to reciprocate feelings they do not have. You likely are the best thing in her life, her family and friends can see that, but what you don't have is that connection to her that makes her sizzle inside, that nebulous "it" that so many women want to feel. It will never be there for her, and she will always be looking for it on the horizon.
It is a sad reflection of reality for many people. I say this posting, only having read your posts and have not yet allowed other's opinions to cloud my analysis.
She will never be truly happy with you, she wants that elusive "it", you are likely the best man she has ever known, but the heart wants what it wants, and for her, you are not it.
I am sad for you, and sad for her children, but in the end this likely would end in pain for all, or long term depression for her.
But you should walk away, even if she relents. No matter what she does going forward you would be playing a hand in a game that was stacked against you.
You will find someone who will cherish you for you.
Another reason why I thought everything was okay is a couple days before Halloween she was making some treats for her coworkers and I was trying to super glue some skeletons on a bucket and they wouldn't stick so I finally gave up. She came back and said "You're just going to give up on us like that too?" in a jokingly way.
Guess none of that matters anymore. Just reaching for something that isn't there anymore. False hope. Miss everything about her. Damn.
Another reason why I thought everything was okay is a couple days before Halloween she was making some treats for her coworkers and I was trying to super glue some skeletons on a bucket and they wouldn't stick so I finally gave up. She came back and said "You're just going to give up on us like that too?" in a jokingly way.
Guess none of that matters anymore. Just reaching for something that isn't there anymore. False hope. Miss everything about her. Damn.
I think her statement was further proof she saw you are more of a provider for the family than a romantic partner for her.
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