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Are you a romantic? Is your current/future SO? Is it a nice to have for you, a must have or a no thanks for you?
What does being romantic mean to you?
I am not a romantic. I don't like romance movies. My love languages do not include acts of service. I am not someone who is aesthetically oriented and finds the beauty in everything.
I characterize someone as a romantic if they are the type to think about a grand gesture, or express grand sentiments verbally easily when they have feelings. They tend to share and express their feelings readily and look for tokens to showcase those feelings. Their preferred terms of endearment likely incorporate something with the word love or other grand adjective. And they want to plan every detail to set the desired mood on date night.
When I meet someone who is super romantic I am somewhat in disbelief. I never know how to take it. In reality I only want small doses.
So what about you? What does romance mean to you, do you like it or hate it?
Somehow I missed this thread...
To be honest, as cynical and jaded as I am, I still am okay with romance. Like you, I'm not into the over the top expressions, that would make me wonder what is behind all of that. For me, true romance means being mature about the relationship.
I am about a 4 on a scale of needing romance. To me, it it's too much, it's intrusive. My husband is not very romantic. He is probably a 1. But once in a while when he does something, I do appreciate it more.
A lot of these responses make me feel better about myself, for a while there I was feeling like a bit of an a-hole for not being the guy from every rom-com movie. Although I think that we're at that point where we both in need of that every now and again.
Are you a romantic? Is your current/future SO? Is it a nice to have for you, a must have or a no thanks for you?
What does being romantic mean to you?
I am not a romantic. I don't like romance movies. My love languages do not include acts of service. I am not someone who is aesthetically oriented and finds the beauty in everything.
I characterize someone as a romantic if they are the type to think about a grand gesture, or express grand sentiments verbally easily when they have feelings. They tend to share and express their feelings readily and look for tokens to showcase those feelings. Their preferred terms of endearment likely incorporate something with the word love or other grand adjective. And they want to plan every detail to set the desired mood on date night.
When I meet someone who is super romantic I am somewhat in disbelief. I never know how to take it. In reality I only want small doses.
So what about you? What does romance mean to you, do you like it or hate it?
Same here. Ish. Just say no to poetry and flowers. But I do acknowledge 'acts of service' as an expression of appreciation. Brake pads. Shoveling. Mowing. That kind of stuff I recognize and appreciate more than some flowery display.
I personally find the "Love Languages" stuff to be a bit hackneyed and overly simplified, but I got where they're going with it.
For me, romance is connection. The chemistry born of taking with someone about some point important to both of you, and looking at one another and saying, "that's exactly it," and knowing instantly that you're understood. It's showing consideration and kindness and selflessness, and having another prison do the same with you. It's being thoughtful (might be a surprise vase of pretty flowers, might be up and playing with the kids while I sleep in after a big project, It might be "surprise, I got my mom to come babysit, let's go out to that new brewpub" ). It may or may not include regularly verbalizing, and it's fine if it does, but it's essential that actions support the words. It's making sacrifices. It's communicating how much you value the person, however you do that, in a way they understand. And if you have a strong connection, you know what ways they understand.
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