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You'd have to be pretty naïve to believe that it's a platonic friendship. I mean, they met on a hookup site, and that person is traveling 3600 miles to visit and stay with him.
Let me preface this by saying this is a gay relationship thread, but all non-judgmental opinions are welcome.
I’m in a relationship with a guy who is 51, I’m 33. So a bit of an age difference, but not a big deal to me. I just love him to death, he’s a really good guy and I thought he was Mr. Right. He’s been telling me that his friend from the Dominican Republic was coming to visit and staying with him. He always has friends visiting so I didn’t really bat an eye about it. But we just got back from a vacation in Vancouver and had a bit of time to talk on the drive back to Seattle. I asked him how he knew this guy and he said “oh we met online.” And then I asked “where online?” And he said “I don’t remember.” I asked “so is he like an old friend?” And he said “No, he’s young. I think 23-24.” Then I was like... “okay, how do you not remember how you met him?” And he said “I just can’t recall.” About 5 minutes later he said that they met on a gay hookup site called Scruff but that there wasn’t anything between them. They met when he was on a trip to Punta Cana (he works for an airline) about 3 years ago and they’ve been friends ever since. This guy has apparently visited him in the past.
I thought he was being evasive with his answers and while I have had no reason to distrust him before, something about this whole situation just isn’t sitting right with me. My trust is easily lost and my first instinct is to flee the situation, but I would miss what I have with him.
Just to confirm, when he met this "friend" three years ago, were you both already in a relationship, or was this before you?
The thing that really bothers me about this is the fact that he is having his younger piece stay over while he is visiting. It's like he's flaunting it in your face and daring you to end things. That is pretty bold on his part, or maybe he thinks you are dumb enough to believe it and won't notice any of the shenanigans going on right in front of you.
Oops. Sorry, I missed the first sentence of the thread that this was a gay relationship.
In any case, I'm 99% sure this guy is more than just a platonic friend.
Thanks everyone. For the record, he did meet this guy before we met. He admitted that he did have a sexual relationship with him but that after they had sex they decided they were better off as friends. I don’t believe that for one second.
But this weekend, today in fact, Mr. Dominican Republic flew into town. Guess who didn’t get a text or call to hang out? Me. Lord knows what they’re doing. I texted him tonight letting him know we needed to talk, to which he responded “I hope everything’s okay!” I’ll be dumping him the next time I see him. Utterly worthless.
Bluefox, I'm so sorry to hear that. He doesn't deserve you. Please don't let your heart be heavy over some guy who is not worthy of you or the goodness and love you have to share. You come across as a great guy; go find another great guy to share your life with. I'm rooting for you!
Thanks everyone. For the record, he did meet this guy before we met. He admitted that he did have a sexual relationship with him but that after they had sex they decided they were better off as friends. I don’t believe that for one second.
But this weekend, today in fact, Mr. Dominican Republic flew into town. Guess who didn’t get a text or call to hang out? Me. Lord knows what they’re doing. I texted him tonight letting him know we needed to talk, to which he responded “I hope everything’s okay!” I’ll be dumping him the next time I see him. Utterly worthless.
You should just ghost rider him. It's meaner, and the in thing to do nowadays. Then a few months later say “I hope everything’s okay!” then block him right after
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