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I never thought I would do something like this but nothing else is working and I’m at my wits end with trying to organically find someone.
So I figured this is my only chance at finding someone and who knows maybe she can grow to love me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
If you agree to a fraud marriage, it's actually breaking federal law and you could go to prison for it.
If you are referring simply to finding a foreign bride who might be partially motivated by the idea of becoming an American citizen, then go for it.
The bigger problem is that this is really expensive. You are going to need to fly overseas to meet this person and if you marry her you have to fly her over here. There is also the marriage broker expenses, I was told that's another $10-25K. There are fees for immigration lawyers, marriage, visas and for her to get an immigration visa, you have to demonstrate that you can support her and any children she may have. Moreover, once she gets her it may take a while for her to get a green card. you likely will also be expected to send money to her family. If things don't work out you are liable for her support.
I know you aren't gonna want to hear this, but seriously, you just need to start loving yourself, and being comfortable with yourself. I went to a convention two weeks ago. And there were Sooooo many men there who were out of shape, neck beards, well pretty much what many people (especially on this site who thinks every man should look like George Clooney and Brad Pitt) would consider unattractive, and they were with very attractive women. They had great attitudes and found women that had the same interests they had, and they were just THEMSELVES!! I'm sorry but I have officially left the feeling sorry for the woe is me people who can't find anyone, when they don't take a good look at themselves and what type of energy they are putting out there. No one is just going to fall in your lap just because you exist, or just put up a Dating profile. It take some sort of effort. And even if you say, that is not how I am in the real world, I find a hard time believing that. You may not realize it, and think you are not giving off negative vibes but you probably are. You just need to relax, get comfortable with yourself, and then focus on finding someone, and let it happen. Because even if you were to marry a foreign bride, that's not going to fix your problem. If anything it's going to make it worse.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
I know you aren't gonna want to hear this, but seriously, you just need to start loving yourself, and being comfortable with yourself. I went to a convention two weeks ago. And there were Sooooo many men there who were out of shape, neck beards, well pretty much what many people (especially on this site who thinks every man should look like George Clooney and Brad Pitt) would consider unattractive, and they were with very attractive women. They had great attitudes and found women that had the same interests they had, and they were just THEMSELVES!! I'm sorry but I have officially left the feeling sorry for the woe is me people who can't find anyone, when they don't take a good look at themselves and what type of energy they are putting out there. No one is just going to fall in your lap just because you exist, or just put up a Dating profile. It take some sort of effort. And even if you say, that is not how I am in the real world, I find a hard time believing that. You may not realize it, and think you are not giving off negative vibes but you probably are. You just need to relax, get comfortable with yourself, and then focus on finding someone, and let it happen. Because even if you were to marry a foreign bride, that's not going to fix your problem. If anything it's going to make it worse.
I never thought I would do something like this but nothing else is working and I’m at my wits end with trying to organically find someone.
So I figured this is my only chance at finding someone and who knows maybe she can grow to love me.
If you are looking to date a woman from another land that isn't a bad idea. Don't rule out the possibility that she may actually give you a chance so it wouldn't necessarily be strictly for the the citizenship.
Just make sure you have your attitude right. Feel good about yourself, and open to listening and learning about her. Unless there is something very wrong with a person, dating internationally is an opportunity to meet and enjoy ladies that will give you a decent chance even if you haven't had the type of success you would like with the ladies in the USA.
OP, I am going to do this. Its going to take time, maybe a year or more, but I'm in the same boat. There are legit companies that will help you with this, but you must do your research. I will be going overseas early next year to start the process. With technology these days, you can get to know them by talking daily with free services, facetime, etc. It will still be a courtship, and a difficult one with multiple visits and you footing the bill for her to come here, but for me its worth it. I'm doing it because I'm done with American women.
My friend did this, sort of. She got married to help a friend get citizenship. He is gay, she is not. They later divorced after the waiting period was over. (This was before I met her).
I know you aren't gonna want to hear this, but seriously, you just need to start loving yourself, and being comfortable with yourself. I went to a convention two weeks ago. And there were Sooooo many men there who were out of shape, neck beards, well pretty much what many people (especially on this site who thinks every man should look like George Clooney and Brad Pitt)
Who, on this site besides kinda pathetic dudes, EVER said that?
Don't do anything illegal. If you want to look overseas, do so. But be real about it. Don't commit fraud. If you marry someone so they can get citizenship, there is no love. No connection. It won't feel like a relationship and you will be putting your freedom in jeopardy.
If you are going to do this, do it to actually find someone, to find love and a relationship.
One thing I will caution you on, I work with a lot of people from all around the world as my day-to-day job. People are people no matter where you go. If you have some issues that make having relationships difficult locally, those same issue may present problems with an overseas bride as well (a lot will depend on the local culture and what your struggles are).
So be sure you understand the culture as well. Maybe start getting involved with people/immigrants from that culture on your local level if you can because no amount of reading and learning is going to completely prepare you for human interaction with the culture. Maybe volunteer to teach English as a second language to people from that culture or attend local cultural events and make connections with people from the culture that way.
The bigger problem is that this is really expensive. You are going to need to fly overseas to meet this person and if you marry her you have to fly her over here. There is also the marriage broker expenses, I was told that's another $10-25K. There are fees for immigration lawyers, marriage, visas and for her to get an immigration visa, you have to demonstrate that you can support her and any children she may have. Moreover, once she gets her it may take a while for her to get a green card. you likely will also be expected to send money to her family. If things don't work out you are liable for her support.
Your chances of running into a gold digger are pretty high in a situation like this (it's also more likely for her to cheat on you, since the relationship isn't based on love in the first place). You may find your bank account emptied and your credit destroyed and two years later she'll be out the door, leaving you with a bill for alimony and possibly child support.
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