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This isn’t a problem with dating sites and apps. This is a matter of lacking common sense.
And I don’t know a single person in my peer group or social circle that feels the need to lie about where they met their partner. 40% of today’s couples meet online. It has been mainstream for many years now.
I never once lied about where I met dates and partners, and that’s going back to the late 90s when I met my high school boyfriend in an AOL chat room.
Yeah, like I said, I think that many people have different experiences, and it is likely asked on age, demographics, region, etc. Many people I know, aren't ashamed at all about using it. But I know a fair amount of women who have point-blank told me that they will never tell their parents or publicize on any wedding materials (if they get married), that they met their spouse online.
As I mentioned in this thread, a friend who got married recently; both he and his spouse from California hid that they met online (they made up a story). It wasn't that either of them were ashamed, it was that they both came from very traditional/conservative Catholic families. He told me both of their parents would have flipped if they found out.
It was easy for them to make up a story because she travelled to Chicago weekly for almost a year from Los Angeles for a consulting project (my friend told me that they made up that they met at a restaurant). I think that's why she was using dating apps and used Chicago as her location. IMO that would have been a cool story of how they met without having to hide the online part, lol.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by personone
Yeah, like I said, I think that many people have different experiences, and it is likely asked on age, demographics, region, etc. Many people I know, aren't ashamed at all about using it. But I know a fair amount of women who have point-blank told me that they will never tell their parents or publicize on any wedding materials (if they get married), that they met their spouse online.
.
I have never, ever met such a person. That's just odd. If they're so embarrassed about using a mainstream tool, they shouldn't use it. I would flat out be insulted. I've also never seen any wedding invitation that stated how someone met.
There is no longer any stigma to online dating. But it is collapsing under its own weight. Men send countless messages, causing even average women to get 100+ messages a day. Which causes women to ramp up their expectations to impossible heights and reject the vast majority of men. And so, good men and good women pass each other like ships in the night.
It's amazing reading threads like this about a "stigma". It's like these people live in a world where online dating still works. It did, until about a decade ago.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by earthisle
It's amazing reading threads like this about a "stigma". It's like these people live in a world where online dating still works. It did, until about a decade ago.
And does today. Know tons of people that meet people each week.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist
Works for who? Chads and the women who lost after them, obviously, which is nearly all women. But for average men, not so much.
Regular men and women looking to date, including regular average looking schleps like me. Works great for most average dudes (most guys are average) who don't have a chip on their shoulder or aren't misogynists or Trumpers; that stuff sticks out to women like a beacon in the dark. Don't know a single guy friend that doesn't regularly meet women, including short guys and guys with paunches, but I don't know many dumb dudes. Maybe they don't have much luck. I wouldn't know.
It's amazing reading threads like this about a "stigma". It's like these people live in a world where online dating still works. It did, until about a decade ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I have never, ever met such a person. That's just odd. If they're so embarrassed about using a mainstream tool, they shouldn't use it. I would flat out be insulted. I've also never seen any wedding invitation that stated how someone met.
You can both deny it, but a stigma still exists. I'm not saying it's warranted. In fact, I've stated it's not warranted, but either you're living under a rock or in denial to think that OLD doesn't still carry a stigma for some people. Here is an article from tinder a couple months ago on the issues:
Now whether the stigma is warranted or makes any sense is a completely different story. I don't understand why people hold a negative stereotype about it, but I definitely know some who do. I mentioned in this thread, my experience on it was fine and I met completely normal women. It was a little exhausting, but not a bad experience in any way.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by personone
You can both deny it, but a stigma still exists. I'm not saying it's warranted. In fact, I've stated it's not warranted, but either you're living under a rock or in denial to think that OLD doesn't still carry a stigma for some people. Here is an article from tinder a couple months ago on the issues:
Now whether the stigma is warranted or makes any sense is a completely different story. I don't understand why people hold a negative stereotype about it, but I definitely know some who do. I mentioned in this thread, my experience on it was fine and I met completely normal women. It was a little exhausting, but not a bad experience in any way.
I can go out and find an article about a few people on the fringe about a lot of things, including dating for dinners, or will be virgins until they're married as middle aged people, that doesn't mean it "exists" at any meaningful level.
I can go out and find an article about a few people on the fringe about a lot of things, including dating for dinners, or will be virgins until they're married as middle aged people, that doesn't mean it "exists" at any meaningful level.
In my experience, the stigma with online dating does exist. Although it depends on the age range. In the less than 30 group, nobody cares. Over than 30, some people hold the stigma and others don’t. It’s not a “few people.” Although like the article states, it’s mainly because they haven’t had any experience with it. Back in the day you were thought to be socially awkward or something was wrong with you if you had to use OLD. It’s completely different now and actually trendy among younger people.
6 months? Damn! Props to you for having the patience for all this. If a woman I met online was that paranoid about me and expected me to wait that long, I'd want nothing to do with her.
All I can say that would be your loss, not hers, possibly.
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