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I’m in nyc and it’s not great here either. A lot of shallow women but I’m unattractive and shy around ladies I don’t know. If you’re good looking and make a decent living then it’s probably pretty good.
Sad that you say that about yourself, but I get it. I'm considered good looking, BUT I'm also shy around women I don't know. It has never changed, despite working on it extensively. That said, if I can get into a conversation, I can hold my own. I have improved greatly at that, but a lot of it is just because of age and experience I think. Hang in there. I sure can empathize.
OMG I've always wanted to do this. I come from Miami and have been swung around plenty of times on the dancefloor but would love to get the professional side of it. I'm gong to look into it.
Atlguy39;56735122]Sad that you say that about yourself, but I get it. I'm considered good looking, BUT I'm also shy around women I don't know. It has never changed, despite working on it extensively.[/b] That said, if I can get into a conversation, I can hold my own. I have improved greatly at that, but a lot of it is just because of age and experience I think. Hang in there. I sure can empathize.
I am surprised. I was shy, too. When I started online dating and had dates, I sweat and was shy and uncomfortable, restless legs, scared. After a bazillion first dates I don't care anymore - he either likes me or doesn't. I walk into the restaurant as if I own the place by now haha . And my rejection rate is much lower now than when I was a bundle of nerves. Confidence is worth more than looks, it makes it or breaks it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
I am surprised. I was shy, too. When I started online dating and had dates, I sweat and was shy and uncomfortable, restless legs, scared. After a bazillion first dates I don't care anymore - he either likes me or doesn't. I walk into the restaurant as if I own the place by now haha . And my rejection rate is much lower now than when I was a bundle of nerves. Confidence is worth more than looks, it makes it or breaks it.
Very true. After 50, 100, 200+ first dates its easy to just not care, but chill, and talk. If there is chemistry it sorts itself out. One of many reasons its so much easier to date as an adult.
Very true. After 50, 100, 200+ first dates its easy to just not care, but chill, and talk. If there is chemistry it sorts itself out. One of many reasons its so much easier to date as an adult.
I wish I would have made a list. I must be at 200+ by now
Sad that you say that about yourself, but I get it. I'm considered good looking, BUT I'm also shy around women I don't know. It has never changed, despite working on it extensively. That said, if I can get into a conversation, I can hold my own. I have improved greatly at that, but a lot of it is just because of age and experience I think. Hang in there. I sure can empathize.
My opinion wqs shaped by being around my good liking friend ladies literally throw themselves at him. Hell married women in my social circle who claim he’s a jerk have come close to stepping over the line in terms of hitting on him so it’s why when people say looks aren’t a huge factor I just laugh.
I’m the same way it takes me too get comfortable with someone and know them then I open up.. or if someone I don’t know just gets the ball rolling I can continue it I’m just not good at starting it.
My opinion wqs shaped by being around my good liking friend ladies literally throw themselves at him. Hell married women in my social circle who claim he’s a jerk have come close to stepping over the line in terms of hitting on him so it’s why when people say looks aren’t a huge factor I just laugh.
I’m the same way it takes me too get comfortable with someone and know them then I open up.. or if someone I don’t know just gets the ball rolling I can continue it I’m just not good at starting it.
The English language makes it easy, 90% of the conversations simply start with "how are you?" and then go from there. Find some phrases you can use over and over like "Have you ever been here before?" or "nice to see you again, what have you been up to since we last met?" …. and get a conversation flowing. People are always happy to talk about themselves, be engaged, show interest and ask them questions. If there is nothing coming back, try with someone else next time then.
This has been asked of Atlguy many times. It's something about his job/profession, and how well it pays in his current location, which has a low COL, IIRC. And he says there's a lot of competition in his field, so it would be tough to land a job in a place where the 30-40-something women aren't fat or flaky. But I'm with you; I think that would be the best solution.
I have NOT seen/heard Atlguy say he's done with American women. That's not his issue, unless I missed something. He hasn't experienced the diversity in American women since he's been cooped up in the Midwest, so he would have no basis on which to sweepingly reject them all.
He said it in another post, I believe. But I am hoping he is happy with what ever he decides to do.
Last edited by mlj1225; 11-27-2019 at 10:33 AM..
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. And my rejection rate is much lower now than when I was a bundle of nerves. Confidence is worth more than looks, it makes it or breaks it.
