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A woman can date a man, have sex with him, and eventually marry him, and then decide to 'friendzone' him.
A woman can friendzone a man at any time, for any reason. In today's political climate a woman may 'friendzone' her Bf or Husband at any time, without repercussion.
It happens.
I have been there. Couples counseling may help, or it might not.
I'm familiar your with your history. In my mind, your case is rare and somewhat extreme.
True, no way to quantify...Even that would be hard because a wife might say the marriage ended because "he abused me emotionally (so I cheated)" and the husband of the same marriage might say "she cheated".
Still … 80% … 4 out of 5 … worth pausing and considering why it also isn't closer to 50/50.
When I said abuse, I didn't mean emotionally, which can be a matter of opinion.
I think men are less likely to go for divorce because as things still are, they are a whole lot more likely to have to pay child support, and see less of their children than when living in the marriage if there are children. They might well be unhappy in the marriage, are not going to change whatever they are doing or not liking, but do not want to take the financial hit, as it's still much more likely that the man is making more money than the woman. I say this as a firm feminist, but I think it's the case.
No doubt there are women who are fine with hitting up a higher earner for money in whatever form. I have known all these kinds of people, men and women.
I personally don't know why people get married, anyway.
I'm not sure what the topic of divorce has to do with the issue of having sex on a second date.
I also find it very telling, that the OP says he intends to have sex with this woman; but he can't tell her that for some reason. I wonder why that is. Shouldn't he be upfront if that is what his intention is? Hiding it is wrong and dishonest. She wants to know now.
I'm not sure what the topic of divorce has to do with the issue of having sex on a second date.
...
Right you are. I lost track of the initial discussion and veered off, partly because I feel alarmed by some male posters who seem to hold everything against women, including their own rejections. Apologies to the group.
Women file for divorce because men are much more content to stay in a relationship where things are not good, failing, miserable, unlivable. Men are incredibly content to stay married and not file for the divorce. Ergo, women are usually the ones that file.
When I said abuse, I didn't mean emotionally, which can be a matter of opinion.
Right you are; though I rarely hear "abuse" alone, it is always the trio of "physical, mental/psychological, and emotional".
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover
I think men are less likely to go for divorce because as things still are, they are a whole lot more likely to have to pay child support, and see less of their children than when living in the marriage if there are children. … but do not want to take the financial hit, …
Spot on, and I'd add we (men) don't savor losing half our retirement, our home, and ending up eating Ramen Noodles in a shabby studio apartment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover
I personally don't know why people get married, anyway.
I'm right there with ya. In the future, if I was living with a woman who needed medical coverage due to some unforeseen injury or condition, that is the only reason I'd consider marrying again.
Oh, more in the spirit of the original post … don't go to her place for the second date. Take her out somewhere nice and break the development of the "he only wants sex" stigma from the escalation of date #1. Mix it up, keep it platonic, have a long conversation about hopes and dreams over coffee or dessert.
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