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I don't see too many signs of her using you. Especially since she hasnt pressured you. Feel free to PM bc on the other hand I've got someone from south America and also question the same thing.
I hate to hijack but my thread would exactly be the same title lol. In a situation with someone and after 10 months she wants to know if we'll be serious soon (marrying). She needs to know now or otherwise she'll go a different route to get legal status.
Relationship has been great, with a few small bumps along the way, but I cant make that serious committment just yet :/ dont know what to do.
I mentioned moving to Lisbon to be together, both because it is something I am interested in and also to "test the waters". She replied "no" without a thought, and added that we wouldn't stay together if I moved there.
Her reaction got me concerned about her real intentions. What do you think?.
Hello there!
This sound suspicious... Probably many people mentioned this as well. Uhm, my advice here would be: Do poke into this. Test her. See if she is into YOU or into things you might provide. Being on your place, I would start making offers to her that would involve my time, energy, love... but not resources like you mentioned. If her interest is you, she will be happy with you as a person. If she is into being a US/EU citizen, after some time it will be clear to her you spotted her game and she will leave you by herself.
...Do the hard thing, do the first step. Deny her what you think might have been her interest all along and see what will be the reaction... Feel free to post it here, or if you trust somebody, send him direct message.
I don't see too many signs of her using you. Especially since she hasnt pressured you. Feel free to PM bc on the other hand I've got someone from south America and also question the same thing.
I hate to hijack but my thread would exactly be the same title lol. In a situation with someone and after 10 months she wants to know if we'll be serious soon (marrying). She needs to know now or otherwise she'll go a different route to get legal status.
Relationship has been great, with a few small bumps along the way, but I cant make that serious committment just yet :/ dont know what to do.
After giving it a thought, I think that people often aren't purely in either one category. They aren't solely interested in securing immigration privileges, or having a relationship. Many people want to be able to have both from the same person.
After giving it a thought, I think that people often aren't purely in either one category. They aren't solely interested in securing immigration privileges, or having a relationship. Many people want to be able to have both from the same person.
Why bother with this line of thinking? I mean, I don't even understand it. You deliberately pick someone who lives in a foreign country and then you're going to worry about this? It makes no sense. You need to just not even go down that rabbit hole of thinking if this is the road you have chosen to go down. Just go with it and remain positive. You can not mitigate this risk. Just go all out. Balls to the wall. Throw caution to the wind. Let love take over.
I hate to hijack but my thread would exactly be the same title lol. In a situation with someone and after 10 months she wants to know if we'll be serious soon (marrying). She needs to know now or otherwise she'll go a different route to get legal status.
This is sketchy as heck. There is no reason why she can't pursue more than one route to citizenship at the same time. I know many people who have done this because delays, complications, policy changes, etc. could make one path more/less successful than another. Also, I know of one person who has delayed getting married because she didn't want to derail her citizenship application. She has lived here for decades and they have a 10yo daughter... this isn't green-card fishing.
I don't see too many signs of her using you. Especially since she hasnt pressured you. Feel free to PM bc on the other hand I've got someone from south America and also question the same thing.
I hate to hijack but my thread would exactly be the same title lol. In a situation with someone and after 10 months she wants to know if we'll be serious soon (marrying). She needs to know now or otherwise she'll go a different route to get legal status.
Relationship has been great, with a few small bumps along the way, but I cant make that serious committment just yet :/ dont know what to do.
duh!!! come on dude, YOU are being used. Doesn't get much more clear than that
Just go with it and remain positive. You can not mitigate this risk. Just go all out. Balls to the wall. Throw caution to the wind. Let love take over.
He certainly can mitigate the risk. He can look for red flags and act on them. Surely one of the main reasons so many people are bitter about romantic love is because they let the fog of new love cloud their normal self-protection instinct and got burned.
Some people might roll their eyes at this, but there's also something to be said about our responsibility to not compromise the integrity of our country's immigration. If you're bringing somebody into your country, you should be as sure as possible that they're immigrating for the reason stated on their visa.
duh!!! come on dude, YOU are being used. Doesn't get much more clear than that
Independently of whether his being used or not, what is this girl supposed to be doing? Allow her immigration status to expire to expire without trying to anything about it? If she leaves the US after her visa expires, the relationship will probably not survive. If she overstays, she put herself at risk for being arrested, deported and issued a ban. Is that a proof of genuine love?
Although there are people determined, or desperate enough to lure someone into a relationship, 2 years is awfully long time to live with someone you don't even like. That said, one should always proceed with caution when in such situation.
Well it's crazy bc we have a great time together and its a great solid relationship, besides her illegal that adds pressure. Shes mentioned it doesnt mean we have to marry now but needs to know if this will be serious, so that we dont waste each other's time. If not, she can go another route.
I get it, I don't wanna waste our time, but I cant decide after 10 months. Plus I have other areas in my life I have to work on before I can make that type of commitment. We are taking a short break so I can think things over, but shes def not happy and also a bit sad and upset since we thought everything's been goin great.
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