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Just read some of your previous posts. For 37yo, you do not have the maturity for a relationship. You seem to be very needy, spend too much time/energy/thought on REALLY insignificant things, and seem to have unrealistic expectations for what a mature relationship looks like.
I know he’s busy between his business and his kids, and I’m sure because it’s only been a year since the divorce he still has a lot of guilt and runs to his kids beck and call, which he should and they are still pretty young. However I just feel like he doesn’t appreciate how patient and understanding I’ve been, I am 9 years younger than him with no baggage.
I think you're looking at this situation wrong. I doubt the attention he gives to his kids has anything to do with guilt or because it's only been a year since his divorce. I'd say he's just being a good father, and I wouldn't expect that to change...ever.
And unless I missed something, I'm not seeing where you've been patient or understanding. Because you didn't flip out when he chose to spend your regular date night with his kids on his birthday?
I'll also say that you seem to think quite highly of yourself:
"I am 9 years younger than him with no baggage"
....and? I'm guessing you think you're so special that he should neglect his kids and run to your beck and call?
I think you're looking at this situation wrong. I doubt the attention he gives to his kids has anything to do with guilt or because it's only been a year since his divorce. I'd say he's just being a good father, and I wouldn't expect that to change...ever.
And unless I missed something, I'm not seeing where you've been patient or understanding. Because you didn't flip out when he chose to spend your regular date night with his kids on his birthday?
I'll also say that you seem to think quite highly of yourself:
"I am 9 years younger than him with no baggage"
....and? I'm guessing you think you're so special that he should neglect his kids and run to your beck and call?
OP, it might be time for a reality check.
Time to find someone around 9 years younger and has no kids, like herself basically. This would be ideal for her.
Overreaction occurs because of poor planning and lack of prediction. If a partner's response is not anticipated, a simple question is the way to go. "Is everything okay? You seem distant." If the partner's lack of response can be anticipated, for example, he is watching his favorite sport on TV, wait until he is finished.
OP, you have posted several threads about this man. We have analyzed and researched this situation up and down and always came to the same conclusion - you need to chill out.
I think he has earned some trust now, he seems to be a good guy. You can lean back and trust his decisions and actions and enjoy the time you have with him. If you are just half as needy as you come across here, he should get extra points for putting up with it. He seems to have a lot of patience.
I think you're looking at this situation wrong. I doubt the attention he gives to his kids has anything to do with guilt or because it's only been a year since his divorce. I'd say he's just being a good father, and I wouldn't expect that to change...ever.
And unless I missed something, I'm not seeing where you've been patient or understanding. Because you didn't flip out when he chose to spend your regular date night with his kids on his birthday?
I'll also say that you seem to think quite highly of yourself:
"I am 9 years younger than him with no baggage"
....and? I'm guessing you think you're so special that he should neglect his kids and run to your beck and call?
OP, it might be time for a reality check.
I actually do think highly of myself, and I think highly of him as well. I wouldn't date anyone I didn't think of highly of, call me crazy.
Also last night we had a conversation, and he actually thanked me for being patient and understanding with him and his situation. I've never given him any grief when he is with his kids, I've actually encouraged it, I love that he's a great father and sees his kids as much as he does.
I don't know if I'm getting the vibe that he's losing interest, he still calls and texts all the time. I feel like it's more of him just getting too comfortable.
Lol, getting 'comfortable' is a form of losing interest in establishing a firm relationship. You're still a rebound and just fit into his life neatly. You have no kids (or own business) so you have no idea how low you are in the pecking order.
You need to stop viewing this as a 'normal' relationship. Either accept it or move on.
I actually do think highly of myself, and I think highly of him as well. I wouldn't date anyone I didn't think of highly of, call me crazy.
Also last night we had a conversation, and he actually thanked me for being patient and understanding with him and his situation. I've never given him any grief when he is with his kids, I've actually encouraged it, I love that he's a great father and sees his kids as much as he does.
So slow your roll and do a better job of managing your expectation about how he should respond.
Yes, I think this it, sometimes I'm on the phone with him and can hear the utter exhaustion in his voice. He does try to make sure we see each other twice week (unless something comes up with the kids last minute), so I think he just thought we'd see each other Wednesday and Friday this week, until I said something.
I am dating a single mom of 3 kids. There have been times where she was clearly tired when we went out. On one date, we had about a 20-25 minute drive to our next destination and she slept in the car. On a recent group outing, she put her head on my shoulder and said don't be surprised if I fall asleep.
Single parents have their hands full, so don't automatically assume the worst. They are getting pulled in many directions.
So slow your roll and do a better job of managing your expectation about how he should respond.
This! Nailed it again, BB
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