She left me for someone else and I can't cope (women, seeking)
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OP you don't need counseling. You are simply seeking validation through others. Been there, done that. Trust me. As a man, no woman should be the priority. Because you will always experience the way you feel right now. It was just your turn, she was never "yours".
Go into the next relationship knowing that the girl will most likely try to "trade up". And if it happens, move on to the next. Be happy with yourself.
OP you don't need counseling. You are simply seeking validation through others. Been there, done that. Trust me. As a man, no woman should be the priority. Because you will always experience the way you feel right now. It was just your turn, she was never "yours".
Go into the next relationship knowing that the girl will most likely try to "trade up". And if it happens, move on to the next. Be happy with yourself.
What would be the point of getting into a relationship like that?! That makes no sense. You're scaring the OP.
What you see as a hideous failure is a major moral victory for you
You have not been abandoned by god you have been freed and as the chains falloff your wrists you are weeping?
For the sick codependent nothing is worse than being alone
To avoid it they will gladly suffer any and all abuse even unto death
I really feel for you OP because I take break ups hard. I know you feel like you can't cope right now but you will with time. I'm on month 3 and finally I don't think of him much and when I do it's not painful anymore. You'll get there. It's ok to talk about how you feel. I had to the first month. The first month was HARD. Ouch. But it's behind me and yours will be too.
When the girl that I was head over heels in love with, and had lived with for eight years met someone else and moved out, I was devastated, I lived in a fog, my world was shattered.
You won’t believe this now, but eventually the pain and self pity subsides.
Someone, sooner or later, will say, “Time heals all wounds”, or, “better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
Fortunately, I live in U.K., where guns are as hard to get as unicorns, but had I been a U.S. citizen, I’d have been sorely tempted to blast whoever said “Time heals all wounds” with a 12 gauge shotgun.
Be aware though, it takes a special kind of person to go through his/her life without some memories sticking in their brain.
Even now, as happy and contented as I am with the wonderful woman who’s now my wife, the one that walked away still crops up in my dreams every six or eight months, or we’ll be somewhere, and a memory will flood back.
I hesitated to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or to the Statue of Liberty in New York harbour, because I went to both places with her first, but I finally accepted that I had to bury those thoughts forever.
That statement is entirely incorrect. Her choice had nothing to do with your value. The other person is not better, just different. Don't take it personally (as impossible as that sounds).
OP you don't need counseling. You are simply seeking validation through others. Been there, done that. Trust me. As a man, no woman should be the priority. Because you will always experience the way you feel right now. It was just your turn, she was never "yours".
Go into the next relationship knowing that the girl will most likely try to "trade up". And if it happens, move on to the next. Be happy with yourself.
Just what I was going to say. Another "Weekend away with the girls" - no, it wasn't.
Yeah, the girlfriend I had for three years spent the last 5 months of it telling me how crap I was all the time so that's where my self esteem took a nosedive. I used to be very confident. Didn't help she'd apparently been cheating on me for a good few months before I found out.
As for the recent breakup. I have no idea. She's been ridiculously hands on and vocal about every aspect of the relationship for the past year and a half. It was literally September when she got back from holiday and quite quickly started to distance herself. I've asked her multiple questions for closure and she won't give me an answer, normally just replies with "don't do this" or "I'm sorry". She's literally turned into a different person within the space of a couple months. She only officially told me at the start of November a few days before her birthday and that was it. I've been completely out of the loop within a few days. Had to cancel plans and just shut up basically. Though she did remind me we'll always be "the best of friends".
My home life is tough. Dad's in the picture but he's always been a high functioning alcoholic but it's gotten much worse the last few years and lately he's been spending time at his own apartment when my mom kicks him out when he gets drunk. It's a Jekyll and Hyde thing but he's not a violent or even annoying drunk, he just goes to sleep. Mom's just angry and depressed about her life.
I'll admit I have abandonment issues but I'd say that's because of being cheated on and my best friends over the last few years moving away and losing contact. I love my close friends who are still here but as I said, they're all too busy nowadays and I only ever see them for drinks.
I think my issue with my last counsellor was that i already know a lot of my issues, she was basically just repeating what I'd say back to me.
Wow, sounds like you have quite a bit to handle. Yeah, if i was in your position, I wouldn't even think about relationships, right now. I'd be focusing on how I am going to come to terms and make peace with my life and myself.
So sorry for what you had to go through. But while it doesn't feel that way, it is a new beginning. This is a time to discover yourself and move forward. At the same time, allow yourself to grieve.
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