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Let's say that someone you are in love with and that you know he/she is in love with you, but you are not in a committed relationship and just friends, but you want to express your love to them. The other person has some anxiety problems and is extremely shy and very introverted where big emotional discussions like this scare them and make them really nervous. It takes a toll on them.
Do you think it's okay to write them in a hand-written letter what you feel instead? That it lifts some of the anxiety from their shoulders as they wouldn't be put on the spot, and also allows them to respond when they are comfortable?
Curious to hear what others think. I suggested this to my friend, and I am wondering if my advice was off.
If you intend on creating a committed relationship that will survive the test of time, you need to help bring her to a point that you can openly communicate with her in person. Once day to day life as a couple starts, it gets increasingly difficult.... it weighs heavy on the relationship.
I say this as a person whose wife has much of the same anxiety issues that you described. Started dating in 1994 but didn't marry until 2001 (took it slowly) and have been in separation for a few years now.
If you intend on creating a committed relationship that will survive the test of time, you need to help bring her to a point that you can openly communicate with her in person. Once day to day life as a couple starts, it gets increasingly difficult.... it weighs heavy on the relationship.
I say this as a person whose wife has much of the same anxiety issues that you described. Started dating in 1994 but didn't marry until 2001 (took it slowly) and have been in separation for a few years now.
I agree on that front. Communication is key. I did tell him that that become the norm, but if it helps start things off, it could be good to open that door.
... big emotional discussions like this scare them and make them really nervous.
Yeah, you can write a letter, but to what end, REALLY??
A person who is scared of emotional discussions, who is SO shy that they cannot talk about stuff like this, may not make the best partner, regardless of how that door is opened.
I guess if your friend is content with conducting all important communications with this person in writing from now on, maybe. But just because someone has a feeling doesn't mean they need to express it.
Practicality does have to come into consideration.
Let's say that someone you are in love with and that you know he/she is in love with you, but you are not in a committed relationship and just friends, but you want to express your love to them. The other person has some anxiety problems and is extremely shy and very introverted where big emotional discussions like this scare them and make them really nervous. It takes a toll on them.
Do you think it's okay to write them in a hand-written letter what you feel instead? That it lifts some of the anxiety from their shoulders as they wouldn't be put on the spot, and also allows them to respond when they are comfortable?
Curious to hear what others think. I suggested this to my friend, and I am wondering if my advice was off.
It can't hurt, unless it's too soon in the relationship for something this big.
Find a card to send. There are quite a few that say "I love you". I know because I send them to my wife often.
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