U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:17 AM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
6,159 posts, read 3,393,533 times
Reputation: 4255

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Your post is still confusing.

What exactly are you asking?
you on a date with a new guy. dinner goes fine. you want the evening to continue. you ask: what do you wanna' do next. he says lets go to my place. but you think its too soon. do you dump him; or, do you suggest iced-cream instead ?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:22 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
39,218 posts, read 30,661,796 times
Reputation: 36837
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
you on a date with a new guy. dinner goes fine. you want the evening to continue. you ask: what do you wanna' do next. he says lets go to my place. but you think its too soon. do you dump him; or, do you suggest iced-cream instead ?


Yeesh, hopefully this isn't a real thing. As a dude I would hope one knows better than to JUST throw down go to "my place" line. It's always, "well, we could go grab a drink at ______, or see who is playing at ______, or we could listen to records at my place".... never just "lets go to my place". Give options that make it look like you've given some thought to the evening and yet have some flexibility. And are you feeling it... what it the chemistry. If you're going to drop that it should be palpable.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:25 AM
 
2,703 posts, read 2,030,696 times
Reputation: 3959
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
i asked this question in another thread:
is it salvageable. is it like suggesting roti and she being like 'no thanx' and suggest something else; or, would most girls be disgusted and block further communication.
I think your frame work is wrong. What determines the right time for you to suggest successfully to a woman that you should sleep together is related to how comfortable she feels around you. That isn't determined by the number of dates you have had but more about your level of personal chemistry. If their is no personal chemistry the 50th date could be too soon. But before you ask a woman to have sex with you, I would want to make sure she feels more comfortable with touching, kissing, being close to you and if she is feeling comfortable with sexual banter and flirtation with you. If that is happening, usually she is expecting you to make some type of move and won't dump you for inviting you back to your place.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:31 AM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
6,159 posts, read 3,393,533 times
Reputation: 4255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
...
Why do you ask?
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yeesh, hopefully this isn't a real thing. As a dude I would hope one knows better than to JUST throw down go to "my place" line. It's always, "well, we could go grab a drink at ______, or see who is playing at ______, or we could listen to records at my place".... never just "lets go to my place". Give options that make it look like you've given some thought to the evening and yet have some flexibility.
yup. i'm not bold enuff to suggest that. of the few women i've been with in that way, i always had to wait for her to suggest it. i am assuming some of my past relationships just fizzled becuz she assumed i wasnt interested in progressing the relationship.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:33 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,517 posts, read 86,668,695 times
Reputation: 97263
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
yup. i'm not bold enuff to suggest that. of the few women i've been with in that way, i always had to wait for her to suggest it. i am assuming some of my past relationships just fizzled becuz she assumed i wasnt interested in progressing the relationship.
Personally, I think it's not a bad idea to wait until she suggests it, or starts getting snuggly with you, i.e. gives signs that it would be ok to ask.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,359 posts, read 5,150,491 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP, I think in part it depends on the circumstances and means of communication. If you suggest this as a first date to someone you're in the process of "meeting" on OLD, you'd probably get cut off. Even if you suggested it to someone you met IRL as a first date, probably most women would back away, a few would suggest an alternative, and a very few would be ok with it. If you suggested it as a 3rd date, definitely YMMV, but depending on how well you were clicking with the woman, it could work. IDK.

Why do you ask?
I have a 3 date rule. If the first 2 dates go well and we plan a 3rd, it's usually dinner at my house. I've had great success with that because women love it when a man cooks for them. I don't get lazy and do take out. Its a planned meal, including wine and dessert. Also, sex isn't necessarily on the table (not my motive, anyway), and as long as she knows that, you're golden in my experience.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 03:46 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,403 posts, read 45,583,487 times
Reputation: 47352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I have a 3 date rule. If the first 2 dates go well and we plan a 3rd, it's usually dinner at my house. I've had great success with that because women love it when a man cooks for them. I don't get lazy and do take out. Its a planned meal, including wine and dessert. Also, sex isn't necessarily on the table (not my motive, anyway), and as long as she knows that, you're golden in my experience.
Well, in case sex does happen, just be sure to not have pickled eggs and chili on the date night menu.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 03:50 PM
 
18,821 posts, read 17,396,682 times
Reputation: 43171
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888 View Post
you on a date with a new guy. dinner goes fine. you want the evening to continue. you ask: what do you wanna' do next. he says lets go to my place. but you think its too soon. do you dump him; or, do you suggest iced-cream instead ?
This has happened to me many times. It's flattering. I decline politely. As long as he doesn't push back, why would I dump someone for being sexually attracted to me? Makes no sense.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
5,375 posts, read 9,055,807 times
Reputation: 10335
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yeesh, hopefully this isn't a real thing. As a dude I would hope one knows better than to JUST throw down go to "my place" line. It's always, "well, we could go grab a drink at ______, or see who is playing at ______, or we could listen to records at my place".... never just "lets go to my place". Give options that make it look like you've given some thought to the evening and yet have some flexibility. And are you feeling it... what it the chemistry. If you're going to drop that it should be palpable.
I like this approach. Do some thinking ahead of time and have some ideas in mind for after-dinner activities. Doesn’t have to be set in stone “okay, we’ll leave the restaurant at 9:00, then from 9:15 to 10:30 go to Open Mic comedy, 10:30 to 11:00 window shopping/walking around retail area”. Just have some ideas to pull out of a hat. Actually, women should do this too, no matter who’s arranging the date. Avoids the “whattdya want to do now?” “I dunno” conversation.

As far as sex, an old bf of mine always said “Make her think it’s her idea.”
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-17-2019, 09:39 PM
 
1,359 posts, read 559,566 times
Reputation: 2634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I have a 3 date rule..
Do guys really still have the "3 date rule"?

Maybe I've been out of the dating scene too long, but haven't heard that one in forever.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top