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The help is for the issues a person has, and not all therapists are a good fit for a person. One may have to, and often one does, need to meet several before finding the right one.
This person I'm talking about is 50 years old and has just bad luck after bad luck with women. Makes me wonder sometimes if certain people aren't meant to meet the "right one."
Don't do this. I know someone that did and he said it was a waste! All the therapist did was repeat what his friends and family said; "you're a nice guy," "you have your act together," "you will meet somebody eventually." She actually refused to treat his loneliness, so I was told
You know. What do you think "treating loneliness" means? What is a therapist supposed to do with that? Therapy is a tool. It is not a cure. The patient has to take the medicine.
This person I'm talking about is 50 years old and has just bad luck after bad luck with women. Makes me wonder sometimes if certain people aren't meant to meet the "right one."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supertrucker212
This person I'm talking about is 50 years old and has just bad luck after bad luck with women. Makes me wonder sometimes if certain people aren't meant to meet the "right one."
If its repeated, it is not "bad luck". We are the common denominator. If I'm failing time and time again, at some point it is not randomness, it is something I am doing or not doing.
You know. What do you think "treating loneliness" means? What is a therapist supposed to do with that? Therapy is a tool. It is not a cure. The patient has to take the medicine.
Well what else is someone supposed to do when they are lonely? This person tries. He goes out. He's tried the dating sites. He works out regularly and his good shape. Former scholarship athlete in college and has a good job.
Well what else is someone supposed to do when they are lonely? This person tries. He goes out. He's tried the dating sites. He works out regularly and his good shape. Former scholarship athlete in college and has a good job.
There are a number of things that one can do about being lonely. I would bet my last dollar that the therapist in question was trying to work on this with the patient. My guess is that the patient was not looking for what to do about loneliness but how to achieve a loneliness defeating device meant to be a substitute for the required personal growth. The funnies thing is that personal growth, in addition to dealing with loneliness, also happens to make a person hella more attractive and more likely to find connection with a member of their would-be dating population.
The OP asked so in to particular order, I've recenty used:
Plenty of Fish
Ok Cupid
Tinder
Christian Mingle
Facebook Dating App
They are all about the same and you'll likely see the same profiles appear across several of them. Ok Cupid offers unlimited questions to answer, and derive match% from agreement (or not) with yours. The first four I mentioned give you, for free, a limited interface with some capabilities but will be constantly trying to get you to buy a membership to "unlock" all the features.
In the past I've used Bumble, Zoosk, and Match to some small degree of success, and ante'd up for a 30 or 90 day paid membership.
Plenty of Fish has been plagued with bot-profiles trying to get you to visit some adult website. I think they've recently taken action to fix the issue. Still, POF has a large user base.
OKcupid has a nice interface and is pretty reliable. Probably the most agreeable site of all.
Tinder seems to have a huge user base, however if you dock the obvious fakes and the inactive profiles, it is much smaller.
Plenty of Fish has been plagued with bot-profiles trying to get you to visit some adult website. I think they've recently taken action to fix the issue. Still, POF has a large user base.
OKcupid has a nice interface and is pretty reliable. Probably the most agreeable site of all.
Tinder seems to have a huge user base, however if you dock the obvious fakes and the inactive profiles, it is much smaller.
I have no experience with the others.
The bot issue was never fixed. Reddit users expressed it's still ongoing. POF has become a serious dumpster fire. It's a good thing POF acquired a large user base in its early days, if not...they would have lost a lot of users and go under.
Another beef with POF is if you send a message to someone, it may not wind up not being sent as the have some stupid filter that filters certain terms unnecessarily, so you're left wondering what word was used that eliminated your message from ever being sent.
For instance, POF ignores the spaces between words
i didn't have a chance to finish it It will pick up the "sh" at the end of "Finish" and "it" and mash those two together giving it the "s' word and thus, you message is blocked. How messed up is that? lol
The bot issue was never fixed. Reddit users expressed it's still ongoing. POF has become a serious dumpster fire. It's a good thing POF acquired a large user base in its early days, if not...they would have lost a lot of users and go under.
Another beef with POF is if you send a message to someone, it may not wind up not being sent as the have some stupid filter that filters certain terms unnecessarily, so you're left wondering what word was used that eliminated your message from ever being sent.
For instance, POF ignores the spaces between words
i didn't have a chance to finish it It will pick up the "sh" at the end of "Finish" and "it" and mash those two together giving it the "s' word and thus, you message is blocked. How messed up is that? lol
How could you even know that and then not simply fix the typo and resend the message if that's the only reason your message was blocked? If someone blocked you for using the "s" word, then they did you a favore.
My "stupid filters" keep out men I don't want messages from. They aren't allowed to hit send and have the confirmation that the message was sent. Then they know to stop trying. I learned this from more than one man who then created a new account and changed their information to evade that particular filter and ask my why I thought I was better than him...are you that kind of guy?
How could you even know that and then not simply fix the typo and resend the message if that's the only reason your message was blocked? If someone blocked you for using the "s" word, then they did you a favore.
My "stupid filters" keep out men I don't want messages from. They aren't allowed to hit send and have the confirmation that the message was sent. Then they know to stop trying. I learned this from more than one man who then created a new account and changed their information to evade that particular filter and ask my why I thought I was better than him...are you that kind of guy?
That was my thought as well.
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