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People CAN grow on you. There is no patience anymore. A lot of people are throwing away good possibilities by being so impatient.
You know where I see this a lot? At the workplace. People who couple up and get in serious long-term relationships ONLY because they met organically as opposed to OLD. So many couples who would have swiped left but because they got a chance to know each other they gave each other a shot and ended up married or living together. To me it's quite amazing how many different people could end up with if they went to another school, worked at a different place, lived in a different area, etc.
Exactly! I am chubby(a fatty, whatever) and I am not even close to being just SO utterly thankful for the smallest bit of attention from a D-bag. I am still a good woman, despite the extra poundage and my flaws (which I readily admit!) and I don't have to settle. No one should.
Oh shush you! We all know you’re gorgeous, you don’t have extra anything except cuteness and smarts. It really irritates me that anyone attractive on the inside and outside has to defend themselves against jackass comments. Forreal, a guy would be incredibly lucky to get a date with you mlj1225, and I highly doubt you have any “struggle“... unlike the person making you feel the need to respond!
Exactly! I am chubby(a fatty, whatever) and I am not even close to being just SO utterly thankful for the smallest bit of attention from a D-bag. I am still a good woman, despite the extra poundage and my flaws (which I readily admit!) and I don't have to settle. No one should.
You're a cutie pie.
I agree, people shouldn't have to settle for scraps.
I'm just saying...in the context of ONLINE DATING... if you're on the heavy side, don't expect a guy with washboard abs to be attracted, same goes for those men with beer guts. A woman who can run marathons wants a guy to be able to keep up with her.
That said, don't limit yourself to an athletic person if you yourself aren't at that level.
Do not expect someone to bring that to the table that you yourself cannot offer.
Last edited by ThisTown123; 01-05-2020 at 03:19 AM..
Again, most people are average looking, so the over emphasis on appearance is puzzling.
The emphasis on appearance is hardly anything new. But it's men who, typically, have been more hung up on looks. In turn and over time, women have learned to apply the same standards to men. Not surprisingly, men don't like it.
People are shooting above their level. If they are a 5 they expect an 8 or 9. Hence all the eternal singles, and people partnered with dogs.
I think this applies to some men. They seem to have an incredible sense of entitlement about what they feel they deserve.
I can only speak for myself: I'm not looking for an "8" or a "9," and, actually, I think those rankings are for frat boys. But I am looking for someone that I'm (physically) attracted to. Yes, of course, that involves a lot more than the outside package, as it should, but looks are a part of it. That doesn't make me "shallow"; it makes me human.
I don't care how much money a man has or potentially will have; if I'm not attracted to him, I would never date him. And I'm not an "eternal single." I was married for 22 years.
No, just maybe don't limit it to that and reject others who are not as attractive. People CAN grow on you. There is no patience anymore. A lot of people are throwing away good possibilities by being so impatient.
Totally agree with you. Unfortunately, though, there are less attractive (and attractive) people who don't possess other qualities one needs in a partner.
Online dating has become so skewed toward women that obese women are inundated with messages and seem to have an inflated sense of their worth. Which is probably normal if you have a wellspring of positive reinforcement almost constantly, as most women do. Meanwhile average and below average men are absolutely rotting on the vine in online dating, even some above average looking men. I don’t believe for a second that any woman truly struggles with dating. Certainly not online.
Only if you let it. I'm much leaner now at 48 than I was at 28. It's not that uncommon as people take fitness and diet more seriously as they age. Some people don't, and that's fine, but age isn't much of an excuse, one just needs to work harder. I need to up my mileage every year or two to keep stable.
Agreed. And I'm another one who has to continue to work out harder and watch my diet more diligently just to maintain my weight. I'm not always successful, and I'll gain a few pounds (want to lose about 10 pounds this winter), but it's something I'm always conscious of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
"...that's not about physicality though, that's chemistry. It happens, or it doesn't.
Precisely. It's all about chemistry, not looks. Appearance is only a small part of the alchemy.
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