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Old 12-25-2019, 03:40 PM
 
4,147 posts, read 2,913,547 times
Reputation: 2886

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I am a guy here, grew up in America. I've wondered if it's still a stigma for an American woman to be past age 30 and still have never married. I'm asking because I'm a man and have no idea about how a woman might feel about this.

Over in China, there is somewhat of a stigma for women to be over 30 and still unmarried, but that stigma is rapidly fading away, as the number of single people, male and female, in China, is exploding.

For whatever reason there seems to be a huge rush among my peers to date and get married. I'm only 24, yet many of my friends my age (yes, even guys) have married in the past few years. (And no, I'm not Mormon, and I've never lived in Utah.)

Of course, the single population in America is growing fast, too. But it does seem like, just in China, there was a stigma to be female and over 30 until very recently.

 
Old 12-25-2019, 04:02 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,917 posts, read 7,668,862 times
Reputation: 16650
Mmm depends on where you are. Some areas it's normalized to harass people about their "singledom" and in other areas it's a quiet stigma, where people show you how weird they think you are with their body language and hesitant responses. I'm 26 and live in the south east of the US, a lot of people I know are in serious relationships, some even married, and a few people have gotten engaged this Christmas. "When are you getting married?" and "Where's your bf?" Are common questions around here. Primarily because it's so normalized and people don't think anything of it. People have told me I'm going to be a cat lady, I'm a repressed lesbian, etc. But open comments like that are few and far in between. Most are just passive aggressive and make little remarks about how we're not meant to be alone, radda radda. I've learned to tune it out. It's slowly going away though.
 
Old 12-25-2019, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
11,113 posts, read 7,851,352 times
Reputation: 28847
Lol... I am 30 and single. My married and in relationship girlfriends envy my lifestyle and freedom.
I couldn’t careless what a man’s ( or anyone’s else’s for that matter) opinion of my status is. Just sayin.

https://youtu.be/jhLcU7hp5pM

Last edited by Sydney123; 12-25-2019 at 04:34 PM..
 
Old 12-25-2019, 04:39 PM
 
Location: NC But Soon, The Desert
1,045 posts, read 750,101 times
Reputation: 2715
I was single most of my life, and I didn't care what others thought of me - which leaned mostly towards my being a closet lesbian. I dated very rarely, and only got into a serious relationship 6 years ago, with my now fiance. I wouldn't care if people called me a 'crazy cat lady', man hater, old maid/spinster, lesbian, or just plain nuts. Single guys aren't treated any better, particularly here in the South. TBH, I might be happier if I were gay or stark raving mad.
 
Old 12-25-2019, 05:04 PM
 
2,947 posts, read 1,341,131 times
Reputation: 3789
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrJester View Post
I've wondered if it's still a stigma for an American woman to be past age 30 and still have never married. I'm asking because I'm a man and have no idea about how a woman might feel about this.

I think if a stigma exists at all, anymore, it's negligible and dismissed out-of-hand by most women of that age range.
 
Old 12-25-2019, 05:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,064 posts, read 106,986,186 times
Reputation: 115858
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrJester View Post
I am a guy here, grew up in America. I've wondered if it's still a stigma for an American woman to be past age 30 and still have never married. I'm asking because I'm a man and have no idea about how a woman might feel about this.

Over in China, there is somewhat of a stigma for women to be over 30 and still unmarried, but that stigma is rapidly fading away, as the number of single people, male and female, in China, is exploding.

For whatever reason there seems to be a huge rush among my peers to date and get married. I'm only 24, yet many of my friends my age (yes, even guys) have married in the past few years. (And no, I'm not Mormon, and I've never lived in Utah.)

Of course, the single population in America is growing fast, too. But it does seem like, just in China, there was a stigma to be female and over 30 until very recently.
OP, how is it you're not aware hat "America" is not a single entity, all with the same values and norms? In some parts of the US, women and men being single at 30+ is normal. In conservative areas, it's not the norm. Whether or not there's a stigma in those more traditional areas, I don't know.

BTW, the US isn't China. Not sure how China got into the topic.

So, where do you live, that everyone on two legs is rushing to get married by 24 or 25?
 
Old 12-25-2019, 07:19 PM
 
10,337 posts, read 5,823,268 times
Reputation: 17879
I was talking to a 45 year old man who had never been married. He had children with 2 women though, both of whom would have liked him to marry them. I asked why he hadn’t? He replied: “It’s going to take a lot more than that to get me to marry someone.”

Why can’t we have stigmas against people like that guy, instead?

I feel sorry for someone who really wants to be married, but can’t meet the right person. I don’t get where stigma comes in. I’m happy I was able to experience it, at least I realize it’s only a great thing if it’s a great marriage.
 
Old 12-25-2019, 10:23 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
44,271 posts, read 19,928,214 times
Reputation: 115013
Ohhhhh-kay. This thread quickly went down the toilet with rude and off-topic posts, which are now deleted. The topic is not actually about relationships anyway. The thread is now closed.
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