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Old 04-21-2008, 10:38 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,182,296 times
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I work out of the house in a suburban neighborhood. This area is absolutely packed to the rafters with Stay At Home Moms. My wife works, so she really doesn't have much to do with them on a daily basis.

Now, every morning on my street, an entire brigade of maids, yard guys, and assorted workmen show up. Seriously. On any given day, at least a third of the houses have somebody coming to do something.

Meanwhile, at baseball games and other assorted school functions, we get to listen to these SAHMs talk about how busy they are. For example, one of the moms actually said, "I've been so busy today. I had to go to the mall once and the grocery store TWICE!" What? Seriously.

What's more, my wife was invited to a neighborhood girls party last week. She said everybody was very nice to her, but she also listened to them all get slowly looped while sitting around complaining about their husbands--the same ones who toil 10 or 12 hours a day to pay for their indolent lifestyles.

These are the same moms who have a housekeeper and a yard person. I understand staying at home with small children is a tough. But once the kids go to school in the morning, I find that I can knock out the household chores in about 45 minutes in the morning, including throwing in a load of clothes. Cooking in the evening is another hour.

So what do SAHMs do with all that free time? Based on my experience, it seems to be the easiest gig on the planet.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:05 AM
 
730 posts, read 2,120,155 times
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It depends on the mom. I myself have been a SAHM (in the past) for 3 years. At the time my children were NOT school aged.I had the whole daily schedule thing. I can't think of a single day where I did'nt have outside time at noon, lesson plan at 2 (to prepare them for school) every day had a cirriculum except for friday afternoon. We would use this time to do errands such as groc store etc. This was NOT an easy gig by any means, but I would not trade it for the world, as it gave me the chance to shape my child's personality and learning skills vs a stranger. Don't get me wrong- no diss to working moms. Moms do what they need to do and can be an inspiration to their children wether they work of not.


As far as the women in your neighboorhood- If the kids are at school and they have hired help to do other things- they should not have any complaints at the neighborhood parties!!The only thing I can think of is that they may have children who are in so many afterschool activites they must take them to and it may be hard to find jobs that allow you to leave at 3.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:24 AM
ARC
 
181 posts, read 749,407 times
Reputation: 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I work out of the house in a suburban neighborhood. This area is absolutely packed to the rafters with Stay At Home Moms. My wife works, so she really doesn't have much to do with them on a daily basis.

Now, every morning on my street, an entire brigade of maids, yard guys, and assorted workmen show up. Seriously. On any given day, at least a third of the houses have somebody coming to do something.

Meanwhile, at baseball games and other assorted school functions, we get to listen to these SAHMs talk about how busy they are. For example, one of the moms actually said, "I've been so busy today. I had to go to the mall once and the grocery store TWICE!" What? Seriously.

What's more, my wife was invited to a neighborhood girls party last week. She said everybody was very nice to her, but she also listened to them all get slowly looped while sitting around complaining about their husbands--the same ones who toil 10 or 12 hours a day to pay for their indolent lifestyles.

These are the same moms who have a housekeeper and a yard person. I understand staying at home with small children is a tough. But once the kids go to school in the morning, I find that I can knock out the household chores in about 45 minutes in the morning, including throwing in a load of clothes. Cooking in the evening is another hour.

So what do SAHMs do with all that free time? Based on my experience, it seems to be the easiest gig on the planet.
I cannot imagine these SAHMs are typical. You must live in a ritzy neighbhorhood! I don't think I'd want to hang around those types of women!

I never had a housekeeper (I was the housekeeper) when I stayed home. I used my extra time to volunteer at my children's school. I mowed the lawn and weeded the flower gardens on many occasions. I felt it was my job to carry my weight around the house. Anyway, I like to stay busy. My husband made the money and I took care of the things around the house so he wouldn't have to come home and do it. We work as a team.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 12,446,129 times
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My wife stays at home with the kids. Finanically it makes sense and it's better for the kids while they're younger. We have three of them 10 yrs, 4 yrs, and 18mo. The 10 yr old is no problem. She's gone to school. The 4 yr old goes to preschool 2 days a week. But there is no salary high enough to cover the time spent taking care of the 18 mo old. He's a crazy little $h!t.

At the moment I'm working in another state and she's still there taking care of them solo until we move. I hired a housekeeper to come once a week and some lawn guys. I can't expect her to do all that alone. It's a tough job even when I'm there to help out.

In her spare time in the evenings after the kids are in bed and when you'd expect her to be laying down or drowning herself in vodka...she's actually working her telemarketing job until midnight or sometimes later.

When the kids all make it to school one day the expectation is that she will return to work a regular 8-5 job like before.

I suppose if my salary was high enough she would be able to stay home and be one of the women cpg speaks of who talk about how hard their lives are when they don't do $h!t.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:33 AM
 
8,180 posts, read 11,874,229 times
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I think its your neighbors, rich bored housewives may be all the rage on Bravo, but the reality is they are a breed far removed from the average sahm.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:37 AM
ARC
 
181 posts, read 749,407 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drjones96 View Post
My wife stays at home with the kids. Finanically it makes sense and it's better for the kids while they're younger. We have three of them 10 yrs, 4 yrs, and 18mo. The 10 yr old is no problem. She's gone to school. The 4 yr old goes to preschool 2 days a week. But there is no salary high enough to cover the time spent taking care of the 18 mo old. He's a crazy little $h!t.

At the moment I'm working in another state and she's still there taking care of them solo until we move. I hired a housekeeper to come once a week and some lawn guys. I can't expect her to do all that alone. It's a tough job even when I'm there to help out.

In her spare time in the evenings after the kids are in bed and when you'd expect her to be laying down or drowning herself in vodka...she's actually working her telemarketing job until midnight or sometimes later.

When the kids all make it to school one day the expectation is that she will return to work a regular 8-5 job like before.

I suppose if my salary was high enough she would be able to stay home and be one of the women cpg speaks of who talk about how hard their lives are when they don't do $h!t.
Well your wife isn't really only a SAHM, she's a WAHM (work at home mom) since she has a paid job. She needs that housekeeper and lawn service!! Good for you for seeing that. It's the women who do nothing, have no paying job (or even volunteer work) and have a housekeeper, lawn service, etc., AND complain that give SAHMs a bad name.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,722 posts, read 5,082,205 times
Reputation: 2217
I think they don't know how good they got it. it should all be taken away from them for a month. Then we'll see how they act...
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:07 PM
 
58 posts, read 315,784 times
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Im not sure what there problem is if they are truely doing nothing....

I've been a SAHM for 2 1/2 years now and its not easy. I can make the house to "appear clean" in 45 minutes, Make beds, Vaccuum, get the dishes done, and wipe down counters and ta-da! Actually cleaning takes some time. Between 2 children who are now in 1st and Pre-K, Thank God, I also take care of two more ages 4 and 2 from 6-6 and trust me they use every minute and sometimes more. They also spend the night 1-2 times a week.

I always found going to the mall with my two when they were little was more trouble than it was worth, dragging them here and there.

Someone is always hungry, someones sippy cup is always empty, Someone is always being "mean" or not sharing. There are 3.4 spills a day and usually mud tracked across the floor after every time of vaccumming it. Throw all this in on trying to get the laundry hung and the kids bathed and dinner cooked and homework done, the bills straightened out, the boo boos needing fixed the dogs needing fed, the tortoise, the fish, the gerbile, the finch.......I could keep going but I think you get the idea.

I dont know about them, but trust me I stay busy all day.
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:12 PM
 
681 posts, read 2,722,914 times
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As a traveling piano teacher in central NJ for about four years, I saw more than my fair share of spoiled stay-at-home moms.

My mom stayed at home with my brother and I for 20 years. It was really nice, since she could be involved with us during the school day if need be... or she could pick us up if we got sick in school, or bring our homework if we forgot it... but of course, she didn't have any outside help with the house chores. She took care of the house and everything in it while my dad worked... sometimes two jobs. It wasn't really an easy gig for her, but then again, she's a neat freak.

The "spoiled" people of whom you speak have always nauseated me as well. I especially love those who have "cleaning ladies"... after the cleaning ladies do the house, the people in the house always complain that they can't find anything! So often I heard my piano students saying "The cleaning ladies moved my books again and I can't find them!". If you want to get around the ridiculous nature of paying someone to clean your house only to gripe about your house being clean later on, we'll talk about what these people do. I distinctly remember this one lady who was the epitome of a priss... she was spoiled more rotten than the stench of a recently flattened skunk. She'd complain about not having enough money for certain things, but yet she was forever talking about how she would go to this exclusive fitness club and health spa... or their private beach club. That's what a lot of these stay-at-home moms do when they have other people come in to do their house chores and their kids are at school. They SOCIALIZE. They RELAX. They get PAMPERED. Hubby works his butt off to make the money, and Wifey gets PAMPERED. (Pass the barf bag now!)

I think one of the biggest problems with this is that these women grew up with this lifestyle. I met the mother of the woman I just mentioned... and they were practically carbon copies of each other, separated by one generation! I think these women expect to be pampered, either because they were pampered as kids or because they saw their moms being pampered regularly. This is just my opinion. I have nothing against working moms who hire people to do house chores in their absence... or stay-at-home moms who have to take care of their kids all day... or stay-at-home moms who actually do the house chores. They can get busy doing all of those house chores, especially if they have a big house and/or a big family.
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:13 PM
 
58 posts, read 315,784 times
Reputation: 51
Oh yeah and in my spare time, lately Ive been doing this.......ahhh the joys of nap time...
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