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You know, you do you. I can't imagine how it would feel being with someone I had to pester and contact repeatedly to get them to notice me. Holy settle, batman.
Exactly. If some guy contacted me (female) after two years and after only ONE date, and I thought I had successfully gotten rid of him quickly way back then, and now let's say fast forward two years and I am on Facebook Dating, but I didn't think to contact OP on Facebook at any time in the last two years.... I had essentially forgotten all about him.... and now he contacts me.... "hmmm, who is THIS guy???"
Well, I would be reminded why I never did go on that second date...
Do what you want, OP. We're all just giving our opinions.
Exactly. If some guy contacted me (female) after two years and after only ONE date, and I thought I had successfully gotten rid of him quickly way back then, and now let's say fast forward two years and I am on Facebook Dating, but I didn't think to contact OP on Facebook at any time in the last two years.... I had essentially forgotten all about him.... and now he contacts me.... "hmmm, who is THIS guy???"
Well, I would be reminded why I never did go on that second date...
Do what you want, OP. We're all just giving our opinions.
Of course there are bad ways to even going about doing this thing which is not a BAD idea just not very likely to yield anything. I got a message from one guy berating me for being a fake or a user because I was still on OLD but would not go out with him.
OP, you might want to weigh carefully the opinions of people who get rid of, blow off, or cut loose people who are interested in them. Food for thought.
I know you asked whether women who are clearly not the woman you dated and who therefore can't really tell you how she might respond, how she might respond. Why? Why are you so invested in a few pleasant hours you spent 2 years ago? For your sake, let this go and take a hard look at why you're so stuck to this one brief experience.
OP, you might want to weigh carefully the opinions of people who get rid of, blow off, or cut loose people who are interested in them. Food for thought.
I know you asked whether women who are clearly not the woman you dated and who therefore can't really tell you how she might respond, how she might respond. Why? Why are you so invested in a few pleasant hours you spent 2 years ago? For your sake, let this go and take a hard look at why you're so stuck to this one brief experience.
OP, you might want to weigh carefully the opinions of people who get rid of, blow off, or cut loose people who are interested in them. Food for thought.
I know you asked whether women who are clearly not the woman you dated and who therefore can't really tell you how she might respond, how she might respond. Why? Why are you so invested in a few pleasant hours you spent 2 years ago? For your sake, let this go and take a hard look at why you're so stuck to this one brief experience.
I didn't get from the OP's posts that he was "so stuck". I got that his life had moved on, he hadn't thought about her in the intervening time, but her profile came up on the new FB dating function, which reminded him of the fun date they'd enjoyed together, enjoying it to the point of agreeing on a 2nd date.
So, since he was using the app to search for dates and her profile came up, reminding him of their (seemingly) successful 1st date, he thought, "Why not"? If they got along well back then, it could be worth trying again. A very reasonable thought process, IMO. It's not as if he's been obsessing or moping for years.
I see nothing wrong with the OP trying. It's not like he's stalking her, or anything. He can toss her a greeting, and see what happens. If nothing happens, he can move on. No harm, no foul.
Well, we could speculate till the cows come home, but I don't see any problem giving it another go....2 years later.
I've done that with dating sites if I saw the same woman I messaged that long ago, I would try it again. Usually these ladies' inboxes are so full....if she went a day or 2 without looking at her inbox, I'd probably be pushed to the bottom...unseen.
In an online dating situation where you wrote a girl two years ago and didn't hear back one way or another. There is a high enough chance she had so many messages and never saw your first message that I think its worth writing her again, with the awareness that she likely still won't write back.
As for reaching out to a girl you went out with 2 ago, that you are still carrying a torch for. If you are the type guy who permanently lives in the past, who can up with more than say 2 women from your past that you wish you could ask out again, I would say move forward with your life and don't contact any of these women. But if there is just 1 or maybe 2 women, that you are still carrying a torch for, I would actually reach out to them. Yes you might seen a little socially miscalibrated. But you have to balance that off with the sense that you might regret letting that girl get away. Wring to a girl in this situation will give you closure or possible embarrassment and that will help you in the future let go of women that just aren't that into you.
The "she cut you loose for a reason" theory though, supposes that she faked being enthusiastic about a 2nd date back then, and then lied about running into an ex, and wanting to get back with him. It's entirely possible IMO that she did run into an ex, or maybe she'd planned to drop in on him during her trip, and her feelings overwhelmed her, or something.
I wouldn't assume she lied about having enjoyed the first date and looking forward to the 2nd. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. There's only one way to find out...
Right, but as I said, she went on a date with him, then dropped him like a hot potato as soon as "her feelings overwhelmed her." Sure, at least she was honest with him about it, but what happens the next time she sees this ex, or another one? Or finds another guy she likes better than OP? OP's always going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop; when's the next time she's gonna be like "oops, life circumstances changed, byeeeeee!"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by stanley-88888888
its been 730 days. i dont see a message like:
as being harassing behavior.
if he continues re-asking the same thing every week; then, he should be reported.
No, but if I were her, I'd wonder why he made the effort to look me up again, two years later.
I didn't get from the OP's posts that he was "so stuck". I got that his life had moved on, he hadn't thought about her in the intervening time, but her profile came up on the new FB dating function, which reminded him of the fun date they'd enjoyed together, enjoying it to the point of agreeing on a 2nd date.
So, since he was using the app to search for dates and her profile came up, reminding him of their (seemingly) successful 1st date, he thought, "Why not"? If they got along well back then, it could be worth trying again. A very reasonable thought process, IMO. It's not as if he's been obsessing or moping for years.
I see nothing wrong with the OP trying. It's not like he's stalking her, or anything. He can toss her a greeting, and see what happens. If nothing happens, he can move on. No harm, no foul.
Thank you - that's exactly where I was coming from. I decided against contacting her, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
Right, but as I said, she went on a date with him, then dropped him like a hot potato as soon as "her feelings overwhelmed her." Sure, at least she was honest with him about it, but what happens the next time she sees this ex, or another one? Or finds another guy she likes better than OP? OP's always going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop; when's the next time she's gonna be like "oops, life circumstances changed, byeeeeee!"?
I guess I don't view one date that seriously. Some are more fun than others, but I have to get to know someone before I'm invested (or expect them to be invested in me). This situation was just a surprise to me since I've rarely encountered a past date again by chance, and never at exactly the same time of year like this. If she happens to get and respond to my like, I would definitely go out with her again, if only to have a good conversation. If not, I can get other dates.
Thank you - that's exactly where I was coming from. I decided against contacting her, though.
I guess I don't view one date that seriously. Some are more fun than others, but I have to get to know someone before I'm invested (or expect them to be invested in me). This situation was just a surprise to me since I've rarely encountered a past date again by chance, and never at exactly the same time of year like this. If she happens to get and respond to my like, I would definitely go out with her again, if only to have a good conversation. If not, I can get other dates.
You are gonna do fine, fine. You seem like a level headed chap with an awesome attitude. You keep rocking that ****!
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