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Wooosh!
Now you have somehow not came across as genuine in your apology, and yes, people can tell.
This couple seems like the only normal people in the group As time passes, it will be apparent thru your actions, not words, that what happened was so out of line you will not be risking it again by drinking. Quit drinking, period. It obviously doesn't agree with you.
Bow out of certain events to allow this girl and her boyfriend to have some fun with family .At the very least, you can show this level of respect so she doesn't need to be conerned over your shenanigans again.
Your writing imho, doesn't show you are not sorry. Blaming the victim who you hurt is never ok. She did nothing wrong. You do not seem to care about this girl which makes me think this is no accident. Heck even the recipient of you kiss questioned your motives. You clearly shouldn't be drinking. I you truly quit for good, as the years pass, you might be able to regain her trust by never drinking again. That should be your goal.
Perhaps she should lop off a finger to show her sincerity...
Perhaps she should lop off a finger to show her sincerity...
She only needs to prevent history from repeating itself to show she has remorse. Nothing more.
Not sure how a damaged finger or toe is going to accomplish that.
The solution is simple, stop drinking for good. Forever. No one accidently kisses their boyfriends younger brother on the lips. The whole story is hokey.
So a couple of days have passed and I thought that was the end of it. I figured that girlfriend 'Bailey' (people didn't appreciate me using just initials, so I'm using names now) and 'Adam' accepted my apology, was trying to get everything off their chest on sunday, and then move on since they know that they are going to have to see me a few times in the next couple of days.
That did not happen.
Adam sent me this text about an hour ago: "Hey lm0905, I understand you are probably going to tell BF [my bf] about this and it is what it is. I don’t want this to cause any problems between us, my family and I, Bailey and my family, or you and Bailey. I would hope this stays between us because this issue is between us. But after you read this it’s over and won’t be brought up again.
I know we talked a tiny bit about what happened on Saturday and I’m not trying to keep bringing this **** up and I’m not trying to let it linger but I just have to say something. I do appreciate you apologizing to Bailey for what happened but from my perspective it kinda seemed like a half ass apology and just something you did so because Bailey was upset. It’s been bugging me thinking about it. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness or resentment between us. Whether it was an accident or not it should never have happened. Think about it like this, what do you think would have happened if BF just went up and kisses oldest brother's girlfriend or Bailey? You would not have been okay with that. Bailey has been nothing but amazing to me and it’s unfair to put her in this situation. We both are upset with the situation and needed to put this out there. I hate that this is a thing but it is and it just needs to be addressed that obviously this **** will not happen again and it’s not okay. After I you read this it’s over and won’t be brought up again, I just needed to get that off my chest. Bailey and I don’t hate you, it’s just something that has been bothering me. Now that I have said what I had to say I’m over it and it’s done.’’
I'm not sure I should even respond. It feels like it has blown such out of proportion and now it is going to always be awkward at any family events that we are all at together.
What do I do? Do I respond or just ignore it?
When cheek kissing goes wrong. Maybe just stick to hugs (with lots of space in between your bodies) or pats on the (upper) back in the future.
Im hardly a macho guy at all. Im man enough to be taken for a man but some of the ways these young guys operate makes me wonder at times. Lol. Buch of wimpy candy asses.
It was so hard to follow. I really wouldn't want to spend much time with him at all after reading that.
Frankly it sounds like something he wrote at gunpoint, while his GF is looking over his shoulder.
Adam sent me this text about an hour ago: "Hey lm0905, I understand you are probably going to tell BF [my bf] about this and it is what it is."
So he's sheepish about his brother knowing that he sent this, which is telling. But there should be no secrets about this situation, since all were there when it happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
I don’t want this to cause any problems between us, my family and I, Bailey and my family, or you and Bailey. I would hope this stays between us because this issue is between us.
Man, she has him by the balls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
But after you read this it’s over and won’t be brought up again.
Doubtful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
I know we talked a tiny bit about what happened on Saturday and I’m not trying to keep bringing this **** up and I’m not trying to let it linger ...
Yes, he is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
... but I just have to say something. I do appreciate you apologizing to Bailey for what happened but from my perspective it kinda seemed like a half ass apology and just something you did so because Bailey was upset. It’s been bugging me thinking about it. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness or resentment between us.
He keeps saying that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
Whether it was an accident or not it should never have happened.
But ... it did ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
Think about it like this, what do you think would have happened if BF just went up and kisses oldest brother's girlfriend or Bailey? You would not have been okay with that.
This kind of situation REALLY doesn't need a condescending analogy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
Bailey has been nothing but amazing to me and it’s unfair to put her in this situation.
Lord have MERCY does she have him on a short leash.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
We both are upset with the situation and needed to put this out there.
WHY???
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
I hate that this is a thing but it is and it just needs to be addressed that obviously this **** will not happen again and it’s not okay.
LMAO seriously???!!!
lm0905, are you planning to kiss him again??? I can't believe he actually sent this to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lm0905
After I you read this it’s over and won’t be brought up again, I just needed to get that off my chest. Bailey and I don’t hate you, it’s just something that has been bothering me. Now that I have said what I had to say I’m over it and it’s done.’’
Thank God it's over. And "we don't hate you"???!!! Are these people 14 years old??
Frankly, OP, I don't agree with most of how you deal with the stuff in your relationship. But this situation is completely ridiculous.
Do not let this girl dictate to you.
I would send this back to him:
"Adam, it's a shame you felt like you had to send this.
For the 3 years I've dated your brother, you and I have had no problems whatsoever. I apologized for what happened at the bar, I have no romantic interest in you, and I hope you will tell Bailey that I do not expect this to come up again."
I would make sure your BF is up to date on the situation, and I would not change my behavior whatsoever around the rest of the family. If she is this crazy, insecure and controlling, she will reveal herself soon enough.
So he's sheepish about his brother knowing that he sent this, which is telling. But there should be no secrets about this situation, since all were there when it happened.
Man, she has him by the balls.
Doubtful.
Yes, he is.
He keeps saying that.
But ... it did ...
This kind of situation REALLY doesn't need a condescending analogy.
Lord have MERCY does she have him on a short leash.
WHY???
LMAO seriously???!!!
lm0905, are you planning to kiss him again??? I can't believe he actually sent this to you.
Thank God it's over. And "we don't hate you"???!!! Are these people 14 years old??
Frankly, OP, I don't agree with most of how you deal with the stuff in your relationship. But this situation is completely ridiculous.
Do not let this girl dictate to you.
I would send this back to him:
"Adam, it's a shame you felt like you had to send this.
For the 3 years I've dated your brother, you and I have had no problems whatsoever. I apologized for what happened at the bar, I have no romantic interest in you, and I hope you will tell Bailey that I do not expect this to come up again."
I would make sure your BF is up to date on the situation, and I would not change my behavior whatsoever around the rest of the family. If she is this crazy, insecure and controlling, she will reveal herself soon enough.
My boyfriend knows 100% of what is going on and thinks it's absolutely ridiculous. He even said 'Sad that it came to this. cause now everyone is gonna turn against her and by default Adam, because of how poorly they handled this'
I'm not going to change anything at all. I'll be cordial to both of them, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be nice to them or to be their friend
"she doesn't know if she can trust me if I am around A anymore because she..."
This has been all about her. Don't answer further, respond any more, or offer another thought about it. Some thing's you fight for with active engagement, other things you let die by ignoring them. This is one of the latter. I would block tiny boy's phone number also. if you don't hear him, you don't have to respond to him.
There is a part of this nevertheless in which you enjoy being engaged, insofar as you continue to take the bait and respond to their cheap shots. You should grow up too and stop being reduced to their immaturity.
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