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And there are 278 posts, many of which involve relevant questions in an attempt to better understand the whole picture.
Yes, Belle avoids answering sensible, relevant qs posed to her, quite a lot.
Based upon old posts about him making her perform sexual acts with which she was not comfortable, I speculate that he has some philias that are difficult to get most women to go along with; that may've been his main attraction to Belle, who did go along with them, back when he was paying her ("FWB"), while he had a GF (cheating).
Belle:
how old is he?
does he have children? if so, have you met them?
what is his annual income, generally? 50K? 100K?
is he encouraging you to continue attending community college?
is he anxious for you to get pregnant? He could be a pedo who wants his own in house kid, this is not even that far fetched.
has he said he'll teach you to drive?
The way he treated you when he had the GF, and you were living in the motel, showed how little he esteemed you. That he went from that to being madly in love (though still keeping a low opinion of you as evidenced by his shame about marrying you, too embarrassed to show you to his family) seems...unlikely.
That "lifestyle" to which you alluded "It seems to me he is used to a certain lifestyle but that has to be left in the past since we are married now"
a few posts upthread, that must stop since now "you're married"...what is that, exactly?
This situation calls to my memory an actual couple I know:
he is a radiation oncologist
she is an ex-porn actress, ex-hooker he met when he hired her for a session
He is a big time sex addict and swinger; he readily admits he married her because he wanted a wife who would go along with his lifestyle, even though she is uneducated. He is Asian and his family has not met her, either (they live in NJ, his fam in CA). They've been married 10 years.
He has an ex wife, also Asian, also an MD. He says he wants to not have to hide his proclivities from his wife, hence, the choice of second wife. He hires hookers openly nowadays with wife's knowledge and approval and sometimes participation.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 01-05-2020 at 09:46 AM..
And you’re basing this on the word of a 27 yr old woman who has the maturity level (trying to be nice here) of a naive teenager.
You don’t send any employee, weak or not, to do accounting work during the holidays... especially to Europe.
He’s back in town so let’s see what kind of story she can come up with.
Assuming his international travel is actually happening and isn't, rather, an excuse he provides Belle when he is...wherever. Belle, have you verifed that these work trips really happen?
It's funny to see how everyone has to put pieces together because the OP is so vague, rarely posts in her own threads, and doesn't answer every question being posed to her.
For those of you who have posted that if he's an auditor he could have worked New Year's Day - what kind of auditors do this? I know several auditors - not only do they never work holidays, they don't travel internationally either. These include financial auditors working for small firms to the top consultancies as well as forensic auditors and government auditors.
I agree, the one I knows audits banks, he is a CPA, and he only works when they are open. As far as income, he does make close to 300,000 but he owns his own business.
Originally Posted by Kim in FL So he’s not wealthy.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
He’s a white collar professional with a salaried job. It’s a matter of perspective. If you’re from a poor broken home in small town Carolinas with a high school education and time card jobs, a solidly middle class spouse is a huge upgrade in standard of living. In terms of socioeconomic status, she’s moved from the bottom quintile to maybe the top 25%. A white male with an accounting degree working a corporate job as an auditor is always going to earn a solid living. If she can make this relationship work, she’ll be living a life most of us on internet message boards take for granted. A few years ago, she was sleeping on the sofa of her mother’s Section 8 trailer tending to her druggie sister’s children and working a McDonalds job.
Personally, I’m rooting that this relationship somehow works.
You're both right. Of course I agree with GeoffD - it's a point I made pages ago. And Kim is also correct in saying that while he may be wealthy to her, that doesn't make him wealthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VexedAndSolitary
Yes, Belle avoids answering sensible, relevant qs posed to her, quite a lot.
Based upon old posts about him making her perform sexual acts with which she was not comfortable, I speculate that he has some philias that are difficult to get most women to go along with; that may've been his main attraction to Belle, who did go along with them, back when he was paying her ("FWB"), while he had a GF (cheating).
Belle:
how old is he?
does he have children? if so, have you met them?
what is his annual income, generally? 50K? 100K?
is he encouraging you to continue attending community college?
is he anxious for you to get pregnant? He could be a pedo who wants his own in house kid, this is not even that far fetched.
has he said he'll teach you to drive?
The way he treated you when he had the GF, and you were living in the motel, showed how little he esteemed you. That he went from that to being madly in love (though still keeping a low opinion of you as evidenced by his shame about marrying you, too embarrassed to show you to his family) seems...unlikely.
That "lifestyle" to which you alluded "It seems to me he is used to a certain lifestyle but that has to be left in the past since we are married now"
a few posts upthread, that must stop since now "you're married"...what is that, exactly?
This situation calls to my memory an actual couple I know:
he is a radiation oncologist
she is an ex-porn actress, ex-hooker he met when he hired her for a session
He is a big time sex addict and swinger; he readily admits he married her because he wanted a wife who would go along with his lifestyle, even though she is uneducated. He is Asian and his family has not met her, either (they live in NJ, his fam in CA). They've been married 10 years.
He has an ex wife, also Asian, also an MD. He says he wants to not have to hide his proclivities from his wife, hence, the choice of second wife. He hires hookers openly nowadays with wife's knowledge and approval and sometimes participation.
I've read previous threads and now I'm not sure she's really looking for advice, as it seems she seldom takes it. It could be she's left alone so often she's just lonely and wants to 'chat'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty99
I agree, the one I knows audits banks, he is a CPA, and he only works when they are open. As far as income, he does make close to 300,000 but he owns his own business.
I highly doubt he wasn't around on NYE because of work. He spent the holiday with the other woman.
And for all we know, the other woman spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with him either with his family - or at her place.
You're both right. Of course I agree with GeoffD - it's a point I made pages ago. And Kim is also correct in saying that while he may be wealthy to her, that doesn't make him wealthy.
I've read previous threads and now I'm not sure she's really looking for advice, as it seems she seldom takes it. It could be she's left alone so often she's just lonely and wants to 'chat'.
I highly doubt he wasn't around on NYE because of work. He spent the holiday with the other woman.
And for all we know, the other woman spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with him either with his family - or at her place.
So why a rushed marriage then? This is the part that doesn't add up.
Reconnecting with a guy who treated you like garbage, and getting married secretly, despite the sordid past, only to be left alone? Is this a marriage solely so she can have health coverage through his work? Not much else makes sense, especially the parts where she has no idea what's going on or where he is.
So why a rushed marriage then? This is the part that doesn't add up.
This is the oddest part of the entire strange affair
Why wouldn't they just date for awhile?
Why would HE want to marry all of a sudden? We know Belle's extreme naivete would make her go along with this without questioning it but if he is all he claims to be (stable, great highpaying job, overall a winner at life) this behavior is incongruent with a sudden marriage to a gal he didn't think much of just a few months prior.
So incredibly odd, given the history of the thing.
Fascinating. I am really hoping we get to hear of his true agenda.
So why a rushed marriage then? This is the part that doesn't add up.
Reconnecting with a guy who treated you like garbage, and getting married secretly, despite the sordid past, only to be left alone? Is this a marriage solely so she can have health coverage through his work? Not much else makes sense, especially the parts where she has no idea what's going on or where he is.
Control? After going without whatever she's giving him for several months, he contacted her again and in order to keep her happy (because marriage is something that's been important to her), he married her to keep her at his beck and call.
And she just wants someone in her life. She's desperately lonely and feels she doesn't deserve more and doesn't think she'll ever have anyone if she leaves whomever her current user/abuser is.
The bits about a “psycho ex” and her “drama” are sort of rich, granted the situation the OP finds herself in. Seems a bit.....psychotic and dramatic to me?
The bits about a “psycho ex” and her “drama” are sort of rich, granted the situation the OP finds herself in. Seems a bit.....psychotic and dramatic to me?
Recall, he was cheating on the ex-GF with Belle, so we have only his statements about this -as posted here by Belle- to go on. Chances are what he tells Belle re: the ex GF is false/embellished. You really need to know the posting history to get this bizarre situation, it's so off the wall, from the first post re: this guy to this latest.
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