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When we got married we did the courthouse thing and plan to have an actual wedding once things slow down with him at work.
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Originally Posted by belle woods
I had blocked him on my phone because of our issues and changed my number. He reached out on FB after months and months of no communication or anything. He said since we had both had time to think that maybe we should talk. We started things slow at first but then he said he wanted to prove to me that he loved me a d that he did t want to lose me again so he asked me to marry him though it wasn’t an official get down on one knee type of thing,and he didn’t have a ring but the next day we went and picked out one that I liked. After that we got married pretty quick. I said I could wait I was just happy we were engaged but he said we could get married now then have an actual wedding later. If you love somebody why wait? And really I agreed.
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Originally Posted by belle woods
It is legal. We got legally married.
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Originally Posted by belle woods
I don’t know why no one believes me but we did get legally married. I was there so I know. I’m not stupid.
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Originally Posted by belle woods
My three friends were there and one signed I know for sure. I don’t really remember those details but I know we had to have a witness.
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Originally Posted by ChiGal7
But why? For what possible reason would anyone go to such great lengths to fake a marriage ceremony? We all know she's not rich, she barely has 2 nickels to rub together. She's not going to be inheriting a bunch of money either because she's more or less cut off from her family. She's basically got nothing that a typical scam artist would be after. So why would this guy set up a fake wedding at the courthouse? Doesn't make any sense!
It doesn't sound like it was faked. Apparently they were married in a civil ceremony at the courthouse which included 3 of her friends, but she doesn't consider it to be an "actual wedding" which she is now planning to include family and all the trimmings.
But why did he marry her and so quickly? My understanding is that abusive and controlling men often marry their willing victims to keep them around. If any of belle's stories are real, this man has been emotionally abusive and controlling to this young woman from the beginning (if you have read her threads). She either can't or won't see it. Seems like a classic case to me.
So then why did she come back and say she doesn't think they are really married? That is the mystery to be solved to wrap up this story. It could simply be that she is doubting herself and what she knows happened. Classic gaslight victim, no? He is working on destroying her self esteem by not introducing her to family or even telling them about her, and teling her that the GF is still in the picture. Also why he left her alone on those 3 major holidays. He told her he wants kids which will nip her ambitions in the bud and keep her right where he wants her.
Classic.
Last edited by SimplySagacious; 01-09-2020 at 09:13 AM..
.... and then she said:
I don’t think I am actually married. My friend and I are calling around figuring stuff out. Basically things arent lining up and we can’t find proof.
Can you trust her previous statements that she is FOR SURE married, witness, courthouse and all that?
Maybe she was just daydreaming? And looks like her three friends also don't have clue what they did, or witnessed or signed.
All of them don't even know where to go to get the proof - no matter how many times we explained it here.
They are just "calling around"...
.... and then she said:
I don’t think I am actually married. My friend and I are calling around figuring stuff out. Basically things arent lining up and we can’t find proof.
Can you trust her previous statements that she is FOR SURE married, witness, courthouse and all that?
Maybe she was just daydreaming? And looks like her three friends also don't have clue what they did, or witnessed or signed.
All of them don't even know where to go to get the proof - no matter how many times we explained it here.
They are just "calling around"...
I don't trust that they have been "calling around" and haven't figured out if she is married or not. And of course things are not lining up. We told her that on New Year's Day. Along with step-by-step instructions of how to uncover the truth.
It seems as if people are assuming she and all her friends were tripping that day or something.
.... and then she said:
I don’t think I am actually married. My friend and I are calling around figuring stuff out. Basically things arent lining up and we can’t find proof.
Can you trust her previous statements that she is FOR SURE married, witness, courthouse and all that?
Maybe she was just daydreaming? And looks like her three friends also don't have clue what they did, or witnessed or signed.
All of them don't even know where to go to get the proof - no matter how many times we explained it here.
They are just "calling around"...
To me the question is why is she suddenly second-guessing something she was so sure about. Second-guessing memories, perceptions and feelings are what gaslighting victims experience.
I don't trust that they have been "calling around" and haven't figured out if she is married or not. And of course things are not lining up. We told her that on New Year's Day. Along with step-by-step instructions of how to uncover the truth.
It seems as if people are assuming she and all her friends were tripping that day or something.
The OP herself said that she was sure that the ex was out of the picture, then said that is not so. She said that she is 100% married, now says maybe not. She said someone signed something, but can't recall what.
The OP is not a reliable witness as to what happened is is happening in her life.
She is not legally married. She is not coming back to this thread. She feels stupid about the whole situation.
I told her to actually go to the courthouse and talk to someone about this ‘ceremony’ that took place and about the documents he claims he has. I also told her to come back to the thread and update everyone once and for all. She feels stupid for being duped by this loser. I hope she takes my advice and i hope she updates the thread.
She is not legally married. She is not coming back to this thread. She feels stupid about the whole situation.
I told her to actually go to the courthouse and talk to someone about this ‘ceremony’ that took place and about the documents he claims he has. I also told her to come back to the thread and update everyone once and for all. She feels stupid for being duped by this loser. I hope she takes my advice and i hope she updates the thread.
Hang on did you get this from her via PM? If so I hope she told you she's not still with him?
.... and then she said:
I don’t think I am actually married. My friend and I are calling around figuring stuff out. Basically things arent lining up and we can’t find proof.
Can you trust her previous statements that she is FOR SURE married, witness, courthouse and all that?
Maybe she was just daydreaming? And looks like her three friends also don't have clue what they did, or witnessed or signed.
All of them don't even know where to go to get the proof - no matter how many times we explained it here.
They are just "calling around"...
Exactly. And now everyone is waiting for an update which will probably be an apology for not updating us sooner, followed by one of the following vague statements that again has no details or action plan:
He said we were married but it takes a while for them to update their records which is why nobody could help us. Sorry I worried everyone!
My friend is helping me and we're still trying to sort things out but will let you know when I learn more.
I'm trying to see if I can get to his house to look at the document he has.
I was told they have no record of our marriage so I'll have to see what happens.
It's way worse than I thought but I can't tell anyone anything.
If we invested as much time in helping her as she invests in helping herself or answering questions, it probably wouldn't be as frustrating.
A guy faking a courthouse wedding just to keep a woman around for sex on the side...that is a new low!
Belle shouldn't feel mortified. What this guy is capable of doing is just beyond the wildest dreams of most people. He's some next level of machiavelian sociopath, if he actually did that.
Don't blame yourself Belle.
I think you may be lacking context. Read some of the most recent posts which touch on history.
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I’m not stupid.
