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This guy lied to you, used you, let you down regarding school, the trip to France, asked you to be a PROSTITUTE on the side and you say you are not pregnant YET? Belle, whatever you do, you cannot get pregnant or it's back to the trailer park on welfare and food stamps. Do you want to do that to your child? Do you want that for yourself?
I know you don't believe you can do better that is why you need help. No good man is going to come sweep a semi-homeless woman off her feet and rescue her. That is just a fact. No matter how sweet or beautiful. A good man wants a woman who values herself and does for herself at least a little better than that. You're going to need help and do a little bootstrapping to get up in life.
You are not in a real marriage. It was a sham to make you happy. He had plenty of time to tell his parents. You should have left on TG when he left you at home.
He's keeping you a secret. You do not have a husband.
Yes there have been issues. It’s why we broke up the other time (the first break up was shorter). He didn’t want a relationship but suddenly he had a girlfriend... luckily she’s out of the picture now. We had several talks about being together and being committed and I could see a real change in him. Him even saying we should get married was a HUGE change from last year.
So far it honestly hasn’t been perfect bc being married isn’t what so thought it’d be so far just bc not a lot has changed BUT I will say that we are closer and that I’ll feel better once we are living together and in a shared space and it feels more official. Right now we see each other but not every day. Our relationship is amazing but it just doesn’t feel official right now
I was just about to ask if you had your dog! The one stable part.
Sincere question: Do you love him? Does he say he loves you? All this talk about parents and apartments, it’s hard to decipher why you would get married, unless you’re just not mentioning part about emotions.
I’ll do the bg check but he is who he says he is. His name and pic are the place where he works website and he has a Libkedin page and I do believe he is who he says he is. Work knows he’s married and he says I am added to the new insurance policy but cards have not come in yet. Trust me. He’s never lied about his name or any of that stuff. My problem is that I worry he’s lying about other stuff. I’m gonna check to see if he’s having other gfs on the side or anything like that. I’m just suspicious.
I’m trying to answer all the questions. Yes he has his own place and I go over there but he doesn’t want that place to be our starter home because his old gf is still on the lease. Plus it’s for a bachelor not a married couple. My apt is tiny not enough space for me and him and my dog. We are looking for a place but are waiting for leases to be up. Or if we find a place we can pay to leave them early. We are looking but it was also close to holidays. That’s why we don’t live together.
He has given me money for my bills but he pays his own. When we move in together finally we are going to work out the finance stuff. Right now though our bills are separate just because that makes the most sense.
He comes back in two days so I’m going to talk with about his parents again that and I’m always going to send a FB message to introduce myself just trying to figure out how to word it
That is not a reason to be living separately. Unless she is still in the picture.
This guy is all over the place. Still in the apt his gf signed on the lease with him and he runs out and gets married to a women he can't live with and has to abandon for the holidays to go see his family alone.
I’ll do the bg check but he is who he says he is. His name and pic are the place where he works website and he has a Libkedin page and I do believe he is who he says he is. Work knows he’s married and he says I am added to the new insurance policy but cards have not come in yet. Trust me. He’s never lied about his name or any of that stuff. My problem is that I worry he’s lying about other stuff. I’m gonna check to see if he’s having other gfs on the side or anything like that. I’m just suspicious.
I’m trying to answer all the questions. Yes he has his own place and I go over there but he doesn’t want that place to be our starter home because his old gf is still on the lease. Plus it’s for a bachelor not a married couple. My apt is tiny not enough space for me and him and my dog. We are looking for a place but are waiting for leases to be up. Or if we find a place we can pay to leave them early. We are looking but it was also close to holidays. That’s why we don’t live together.
He has given me money for my bills but he pays his own. When we move in together finally we are going to work out the finance stuff. Right now though our bills are separate just because that makes the most sense.
He comes back in two days so I’m going to talk with about his parents again that and I’m always going to send a FB message to introduce myself just trying to figure out how to word it
Do you know if his landlord knows that the old girlfriend moved out? Landlord might think you are the same girlfriend. How much longer does he have on his lease? Why can't you live with him in that apartment?
Don't know if you saw it, but I suggested that you Facetime or Skype with your now mother and father in law. Some kind of video chat with them. A Facebook introduction is not the way a not-known-yet daughter-in-law should be introduced to the family for the first time. And besides, this is on your husband, not you, to do the introduction.
Be careful, and let us know what happens when you talk to him.
I read through the thread Zentropa linked to a few posts back and there is no excuse for this poster to be in this situation. As we mature, we make poor choices and then eventually someone comes along and schools us. That's exactly what went on in that thread of more than a year ago. Yet she's learned nothing. She naively believes everything this man has told her and comes here after marrying him wondering if it's odd that she hasn't met his family yet.
She doesn't want to hear what people are posting - she made that clear in a different thread.
So she's in this mess of her own accord, based on choices people told her were destructive, and not really because she didn't have proper modeling as a child.
She needs professional help at this point, another suggestion that will be ignored and she'll go away until her next thread that will probably involve being a dumped mother with a baby to feed.
Yeah, I remember now. Different name, same problems. And yes, OP didn't learn a thing here, sadly.
I got married about a month ago and I havent met my in laws yet because they live in another city. I think it’s weird that I havent met any of my husbands family but he does talk about them. When we got married we did the courthouse thing and plan to have an actual wedding once things slow down with him at work. So since there has not been a wedding I have not met any of his family yet. He has met my sister but I don’t have much family to introduce him to anymore.
Over the holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving I expected us to go visit his family but he went alone both times. I asked him why we couldn’t go together and both times he told me he wanted to tell them in person he got married and not just over the phone and he wanted to be alone when he told them. So I stayed behind both times. But now I’m starting to wedding plan and when I ask when I can meet them he says soon but then changes the subject.
That seems weird right? Its not just me? I know they exist because I’ve seen pictures and stuff so I don’t know what it could be.
That is very weird! You are married now, so your husband should include you in those things. Also, I find it insane that you haven't met any of his family yet. It would be one thing and understandable if he wasn't really close to them or he had a small family scattered and they don't communicate, but if he is close to them, that is just crazy to me. That is a huge red flag.. to me.
Personally, my wife met my family after a couple months and I met hers around 5 or 6 months in. She had 2 kids from a previous marriage so she wanted to make sure before we met.. I completely understood that.
All in all, the situation seems very weird, almost like he is hiding something. I don't know, to me trust and transparency is key in a relationship and even more so in a marriage. I guess my wife and I have a different situation as we share everything and before we got married we shared it all.. We took a class, shared our credit history, financial situation, job history, everything. Now, 2 years in, we balance everything easily and there is no guessing.
I don't want to scare you, but that is strange. I wish you the best and I hope it isn't any unfortunate reason as to why he hasn't introduced you to his family.
OP ...how exactly did the conversation go when you both decided to get married? It sounds like it was his idea?
Once you agreed, was he in a hurry to do it? Did you go to the courthouse right away? The following day? Did he make any explicit promises to you? Did he have a ring for you? Did he actually propose, was it romantic?
I find the big rush into marriage to be a red flag. Most couples get engaged, announce the engagement to their families, have a party, set a wedding date.
I guess what you two did was basically elope, but when couples elope there are usually reasons, like pregnancy, family disapproval, etc.
I had blocked him on my phone because of our issues and changed my number. He reached out on FB after months and months of no communication or anything. He said since we had both had time to think that maybe we should talk. We started things slow at first but then he said he wanted to prove to me that he loved me a d that he did t want to lose me again so he asked me to marry him though it wasn’t an official get down on one knee type of thing,and he didn’t have a ring but the next day we went and picked out one that I liked. After that we got married pretty quick. I said I could wait I was just happy we were engaged but he said we could get married now then have an actual wedding later. If you love somebody why wait? And really I agreed.
But I have noticed so far nothing much has changed. I know why, bc of our apt situation plus not making an announcement. I have told my friends. He’s told his so I’m not sure.
I still am thinking of messaging his family but I don’t know. I don’t want to upset him if there’s a reason but I also want to know if he is being shady
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The one stable part. 
