U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 01-01-2020, 12:34 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,304 posts, read 976,557 times
Reputation: 1791

Advertisements

I got married about a month ago and I havent met my in laws yet because they live in another city. I think it’s weird that I havent met any of my husbands family but he does talk about them. When we got married we did the courthouse thing and plan to have an actual wedding once things slow down with him at work. So since there has not been a wedding I have not met any of his family yet. He has met my sister but I don’t have much family to introduce him to anymore.

Over the holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving I expected us to go visit his family but he went alone both times. I asked him why we couldn’t go together and both times he told me he wanted to tell them in person he got married and not just over the phone and he wanted to be alone when he told them. So I stayed behind both times. But now I’m starting to wedding plan and when I ask when I can meet them he says soon but then changes the subject.

That seems weird right? Its not just me? I know they exist because I’ve seen pictures and stuff so I don’t know what it could be.
Rate this post positively

 
Old 01-01-2020, 12:43 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,943 posts, read 53,092,735 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods View Post
I got married about a month ago and I havent met my in laws yet because they live in another city. I think it’s weird that I havent met any of my husbands family but he does talk about them. When we got married we did the courthouse thing and plan to have an actual wedding once things slow down with him at work. So since there has not been a wedding I have not met any of his family yet. He has met my sister but I don’t have much family to introduce him to anymore.

Over the holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving I expected us to go visit his family but he went alone both times. I asked him why we couldn’t go together and both times he told me he wanted to tell them in person he got married and not just over the phone and he wanted to be alone when he told them. So I stayed behind both times. But now I’m starting to wedding plan and when I ask when I can meet them he says soon but then changes the subject.

That seems weird right? Its not just me? I know they exist because I’ve seen pictures and stuff so I don’t know what it could be.
Yes, it's weird.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 12:49 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 49,304,494 times
Reputation: 25306
Oh lordy.....you should of met them before. He's hiding something. Another wife? Hmmmmm......
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 12:59 AM
Status: "...so tired..." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Europe
4,018 posts, read 2,331,965 times
Reputation: 4903
Pick a date to go visit together and on the day itself even if he cancels to go, you just go by yourself to visit them.You are their daughter-in-law and you can visit on your own by yourself. Meeting and talking to inlaws is important and should be done quite early on as it reveals a lot of things.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:05 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,304 posts, read 976,557 times
Reputation: 1791
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerys52SoSilver View Post
Pick a date to go visit together and on the day itself even if he cancels to go, you just go by yourself to visit them.You are their daughter-in-law and you can visit on your own by yourself. Meeting and talking to inlaws is important and should be done quite early on as it reveals a lot of things.
Should I talk to them on FB or send a message first?
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:20 AM
 
1,352 posts, read 598,269 times
Reputation: 2639
Is this the same guy that you posted about in February?

https://www.city-data.com/forum/rela...ach-other.html

Because it seems there are more details, such as he is a widow, has two kids, and he wanted you to convert to his religion (before marriage, I would assume?)

This might be why he is shy to even tell his parents that he got married (the different faith than his parents, the fairly short courtship, etc).

Unless you are talking about a different guy?
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:24 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,304 posts, read 976,557 times
Reputation: 1791
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daffodil_fields View Post
Is this the same guy that you posted about in February?

https://www.city-data.com/forum/rela...ach-other.html

Because it seems there are more details, such as he is a widow, has two kids, and he wanted you to convert to his religion (before marriage, I would assume?)

This might be why he is shy to even tell his parents that he got married (the different faith than his parents, the fairly short courtship, etc).

Unless you are talking about a different guy?
No this is an ex I reconnected with. We were friends first and I loved being with him then things got serious but we had multiple issues. We ended up breaking up but then worked out our probs and got back together.

The other guy and me didn’t work out because of his faith. I was willing to convert but there were issues there and it was long distance and really hard plus his parents already had s match for him in their heads
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:37 AM
 
1,352 posts, read 598,269 times
Reputation: 2639
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods View Post
No this is an ex I reconnected with. We were friends first and I loved being with him then things got serious but we had multiple issues. We ended up breaking up but then worked out our probs and got back together.

The other guy and me didn’t work out because of his faith. I was willing to convert but there were issues there and it was long distance and really hard plus his parents already had s match for him in their heads
That would mean you've been back with your current husband since maybe March? 9 months? Why do YOU think he hasn't told his parents, wants to tell them alone, etc? His parents had issues with you two before? You have more insight than we do.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:41 AM
 
7,758 posts, read 14,783,491 times
Reputation: 10411
You got married?! I'd say congratulations but your overall situation does seem really weird. I'm not really getting why you couldn't be brought to Christmas at least, but it just sounds like he hasn't told them at all. Don't plan the wedding until he actually introduces you to family... And don't cross out the divorce option because it's quite possible you got major red flags coming. But then again it's possible he has toxic family dynamic-- either way you need to see what's going on here.
Rate this post positively
 
Old 01-01-2020, 01:46 AM
 
Location: Tricity
49,179 posts, read 70,455,053 times
Reputation: 111805
He is afraid to introduce you to his family, and probably didn't even say that he is married now. Fears that they will nor approve you. Obviously he cares about their opinion...
Not a good sign.
How long he thinks he can hide you and his marital status?
Is he active on social media? Any word about you there?
Any of his friends know about you? Is he wearing a wedding ring? Did he change his status at work?

Did you ask him if he announced his marriage to the family during those two holiday visits?
What about his two kids? Didn't he marry you so you would help him raise his kids? Are you living together or still long distance.
What is his religion?

Not enough info to ponder on it.
__________________
.
"No Copyrighted Material"
Moderated forums:
World, Europe, Texas, Corpus Christi, El Paso, Lubbock, Tyler, Houston, San Antonio, Tallahassee, Minnesota,
Economics, Investing, Personal Finance, Fish, Home Interior Design and Decorating, Science and Technology Forums
.

Need help? Click on this: >>> ToS, Mod List, Rules & FAQ's, Guide, CD Home page, How to Search
Realtors are welcome here but do see our Realtor Advice to avoid infractions.

Last edited by elnina; 01-01-2020 at 02:04 AM..
Rate this post positively
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.



All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top