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Let's say you met someone online and they seemed either okay or you really liked messaging them so you two decide to meet up. But for whatever reason, shortly into the first date, you know you're not into them. Let's say after the first 5-10 minutes, either it's instincts, you're just not as attracted as you thought you were, or for whatever reason, you know you don't want to see them again, how long would you let the date run?
Would you let them know right away and not waste any more time? Or since you're both already there, would you try to make the best of it and stick it out to an hour or two but drop hints that you're not into them so they don't get their hopes up and won't message you again? Or do you try to act like you're super into it even if you're not?
Does Skyping or talking on the phone beforehand dramatically help you have less disappointing first dates? Or does it not help and only make it worse because you had your hopes up and thought you liked them but ended up not?
For me, if I knew I wasn't into somebody right away, I'd try to make the best of it but drop hints that I don't want to see them again. I would usually say something like I'm probably going to move and not be around the area in a few months to a year. I'd also have less eye contact and try and cut the date short. I've thought of cutting it short 5-10 minutes in but since we've both made it all the way there, it would probably be more disappointing to cut it that short.
I never had a problem with this. I always had a rule, and I made sure that the other person understood my rule. First meeting was 30 minutes only. And if either of us felt that the other had misrepresented themselves, the meeting would end immediately. I had that in my profile...so there were no misunderstandings.
If it was clear we were both enjoying ourselves, then I would stay.
And I would never EVER meet anyone without a few phone conversations. I actually nixed a few guys after talking on the phone with them.
I never had a problem with this. I always had a rule, and I made sure that the other person understood my rule. First meeting was 30 minutes only. And if either of us felt that the other had misrepresented themselves, the meeting would end immediately. I had that in my profile...so there were no misunderstandings.
If it was clear we were both enjoying ourselves, then I would stay.
And I would never EVER meet anyone without a few phone conversations. I actually nixed a few guys after talking on the phone with them.
Interesting rule. Did it matter how far away the other person lived or how far you two had to get to each other? Also curious how you worded that on your profile.
When I was 18-20, I would give it an hour or more even if I didn't like the person at a first sight. I would spend time with them just cause I didn't want to ruin their self-esteem, didn't want them to be hurt and depressed.
As I turned 22 I began to really appretiate my time. Not giving it a 10 minutes if I don't like the person I met. Maybe it sounds rude but I just can't.
Been a long time since I had that happened, in fact, I had women tell me how attracted they were too me and they'd really like to get together again, only to ghost me when I'd call them for a 2nd date.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Depends on how its going. I meet plenty of people I know I'm not romantically interested in, but like talking to. So I just follow it through to the logical social end. A drink or two or whatever. Could be an hour, could be several.
Typically I would stick it out an hour or two tops! Sometimes there would be no romantic connection, but the person was cool enough to talk to and grab a drink with so in those cases I stayed for about two hours. However if the conversation is lacking and I'm bored out of my mind, an hour feels like a lifetime so I wouldn't be able to stay much longer than that.
I remember going on a blind date once, that was a 'set up' by mutual friends.
He was REALLY nice, really cute, very polite. The proverbial perfect gentleman. I could've liked him a whole lot...but I could tell I wasn't his type. But yet...he treated me well. He was never rude, never condescending, etc. I just simply wasn't his 'type'. I could tell that I wasn't.
And you know...I had no hurt feelings over it. Somehow, he was able to convey that there wasn't anything wrong with me.
This was a long long time ago, like when I was in my early 20's. It was the easiest rejection ever. lol
I remember going on a blind date once, that was a 'set up' by mutual friends.
He was REALLY nice, really cute, very polite. The proverbial perfect gentleman. I could've liked him a whole lot...but I could tell I wasn't his type. But yet...he treated me well. He was never rude, never condescending, etc. I just simply wasn't his 'type'. I could tell that I wasn't.
And you know...I had no hurt feelings over it. Somehow, he was able to convey that there wasn't anything wrong with me.
This was a long long time ago, like when I was in my early 20's. It was the easiest rejection ever. lol
Quite the talent for rejecting someone lol. Did he actually tell you that or he just never called you back?
I remember going on a blind date once, that was a 'set up' by mutual friends.
He was REALLY nice, really cute, very polite. The proverbial perfect gentleman. I could've liked him a whole lot...but I could tell I wasn't his type. But yet...he treated me well. He was never rude, never condescending, etc. I just simply wasn't his 'type'. I could tell that I wasn't.
And you know...I had no hurt feelings over it. Somehow, he was able to convey that there wasn't anything wrong with me.
This was a long long time ago, like when I was in my early 20's. It was the easiest rejection ever. lol
It's called "class."
Sounds like you even managed to have a good time otherwise.
I would stay for whatever we had agreed upon, however long or short, and, after that, if I didn't want to take it further, I would let them know. I would automatically assume they would do the same.
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