Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
so my sister has been married for 15 years and her my brother-in-law have three kids and the age of 21-28. my brother-in-law has been having an affair for the last 10 years and my sister and the kids have known about it for the last seven. he stays by her house couple days a week and then goes to my sister's for a couple days a week. it's not an agreement but it's known what's going on. his kids talk to him but no would have pos he is. I will say that he is supported that household all along and paying for that college. my sister only has a full-time job that doesn't pay much and she would never be able to maintain this lifestyle without his money so that's part of the reason why I think she doesn't try to make a move which I'm not sure she can financially. but I also think she loves him so much that she's accepting this. believe it or not I also think that she gives him a little bit of credit for not completely leaving because he feels bad. I'm not sure who would make out better or worse if they were to get a divorce and maybe that's the reason one or the other or not pursuing that. she has a $45,000 car and a very nice house and I don't think she wants to give up that lifestyle. it makes about a $160k year and they own three houses together which two rental properties. she still cooks and caters to him
which boggles my mind. I know she's hoping and praying that one day he'll realize that my sister and the kids or what he really wants and everything Will change and be okay. I know she's not truly happy but her kids make her very happy and they still do live with her. it's almost like no matter how much he ****s on her she will accept it. she keeps saying she has a plan but she's been saying that for the last five years. just breaks my heart and I know it breaks hers that she's such a good person and a good mother what continues to let this happen. by the way they still have sex regularly I need does with this other woman as well I don't know how my sister lets this happen.
Maybe you should step back let your sister and her adult children live the life they have chosen.
This....she made her bed. Now she has to lie in it. This type of stuff happens more than people think. You believe your life is suppose to follow a certain narrative but when you add people into the mix, it can turn out to be totally wrong. It's her life...nothing you can do about it, OP. She'll leave once she is truly tired.
she says and this is her quotes I love him hard. it seems like no matter how much **** he shovels her she takes it. she's aware of all vacations he goes on with the other woman and then she'll still go on vacation with him I sleep with him excetera excetera I don't understand. sorry if any misspelling to voice typing
Every relationship has compromises. She has weighed the pros and cons and has decided that this is working for her right now. Heck, maybe she doesn't mind getting a break from him a couple days a week.
It's a shame & everyone around your sister can all talk to her till they're blue in the face to dump his ass, make a change, etc., but until SHE & she alone gets fed up enough & learns to live below her means, which it doesn't look like anytime soon, she's going to live her life this way. I absolutely hate when money supersedes values & principal.
It's a real shame in her case that she doesn't kick this a-hole to the curb because it's not like she still has little kids anymore to care for. Her kids are all grown & on their own. Too bad her 3 adult kids haven't been gradually chipping in for the last few to 7 yrs (when they found out about the affair) & saving up their money to help their mother have a better life & live independently from him. But, I guess knowing their mothwe will never make a change, they probably figured, why am I wasting my hard-earned money to help mom out since she obviously doesn't want to be helped.
But her situation's no better off than it was 7 yrs ago, in fact, worse cause she's older now. PLUS, she's set a VERY bad example to her 3 kids. She's taught them, "who cares if you're unhappy & your spouse treats you like a stupid @s$ fool. Stay in the marriage anyway & stay a weak-@s$, no backbone idiotic doormat."
Last edited by Forever Blue; 01-11-2020 at 03:28 PM..
Reason: corrected spelling that would have affected the info if didn't correct
Not much you can do. She stays. You can't change that. She may decide one day to cut and run, or not.
The problem, as you've said, is that financially she may think she has no choice. That's why a lot of people stay in abusive or unhealthy relationships, even if they don't want to. Not much that can be done about that, either, unless she finds another source of supplemental income.
No judgment on her here. There are a lot of reasons people don't leave bad relationships, whether it's financial or they've been beaten down so much they feel they can't get or don't deserve better.
This....she made her bed. Now she has to lie in it. This type of stuff happens more than people think. You believe your life is suppose to follow a certain narrative but when you add people into the mix, it can turn out to be totally wrong. It's her life...nothing you can do about it, OP. She'll leave once she is truly tired.
to the OP... it's her business not yours unless she asks for your help.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
