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I think its not about voting conservative or democratic for a lot of people. Its specifically about "Trump" and what type of politics he stands for. I'd be fine to date someone conservative. In fact my bf leans more conservative while i lean more liberal (he hated Hilary) but we both agree on the general idea of what's best for the country (Not Trump).
Its easy to see why many women would be adverse to dating someone who votes for Trump and his ilk...
Trump is a strange anomaly. I didn't vote for him personally, but for those that did the reasons may be more complicated and aren't so cut and dry. To write off all his supporters without understanding why they may have voted for him is a little short sighted in my opinion.
Keeping this in the relationship realm, I think that two things can exist at the same time, yeah, trump is gross but they voted for him for most likely what they felt were pragmatic reasons. I think the dating pool is tough enough as it is, excluding someone for their voting record might cut out more people than one thinks.
I'll focus on the positives, here are my deal-"MAKERS" …
She loves Dogs. Hopefully owns one or more.
She doesn't smoke tobacco or pot.
She has her stuff together financially.
She has a strong sex drive and is uninhibited, unafraid to say "I want ____".
She's a moderate, centrist or leans right.
She enjoys walking and hiking (see #1).
I'll focus on the positives, here are my deal-"MAKERS" …
She loves Dogs. Hopefully owns one or more.
She doesn't smoke tobacco or pot.
She has her stuff together financially.
She has a strong sex drive and is uninhibited, unafraid to say "I want ____".
She's a moderate, centrist or leans right.
She enjoys walking and hiking (see #1).
Very similar to my own! Instead of dogs (or in addition to), must at least tolerate a cat.
Must also love to travel and be a fun travel companion, as I have more of the world to see!
Why all the weed hate? I can see not wanting to settle down with Tommy Chong levels of smoking, but if the person smokes a bit once or twice a month, is that so bad? It's not really different from drinking a beer now and then, and it's even legal in some states now.
Why all the weed hate? I can see not wanting to settle down with Tommy Chong levels of smoking, but if the person smokes a bit once or twice a month, is that so bad? It's not really different from drinking a beer now and then, and it's even legal in some states now.
Always worth reminding in threads like this... Anyone's dating preferences are not "hate." You can prefer whatever you want. Not choosing to date someone isn't "hating" them.
I live in a state where it's legal and I joke that in Colorado Springs if I was filtering out soldiers and stoners, that's like 90% of single men. I don't hate soldiers or veterans either, but I had some really bad and traumatic experiences with my Ex that were connected to his military service and when he got out of the military, and I just don't want to deal with anything to do with any of it ever again. Same with weed. I support, politically, legalization of it. I think that it's less awful than drinking, and no one should go to jail over it, and hemp could probably save the dang planet. But. I don't think that pot has no possible negative side effects or no potential to cause harm. I've seen too many cases where it was a problem. Again, my Ex was one.
And every single person I have ever known, who had issues connected to their use of marijuana, was in complete and total denial about it being a problem of any sort.
I'm 100% sober, 100% of the time. I don't drink, or use any mind altering drugs. It isn't remotely too much to expect of a partner, as proven by the fact that I've got a partner who has no issue being sober with me.
One thing I hated about my Ex's recreational drinking and smoking weed, was that I felt like whenever he wanted to party and have fun, I had to be the adult. We had kids, anything could happen, and someone had to be able to deal with it. That was ALWAYS going to be me. And it was very much taken for granted, I'd be the DD to taxi all his buddies home, I'd be there to handle any situation or emergency, I'd take care of everything and he could just cut loose and have a good time. I got really, really tired of that. Felt like being married to a child, a feckless teenager.
Trump is a strange anomaly. I didn't vote for him personally, but for those that did the reasons may be more complicated and aren't so cut and dry. To write off all his supporters without understanding why they may have voted for him is a little short sighted in my opinion.
Keeping this in the relationship realm, I think that two things can exist at the same time, yeah, trump is gross but they voted for him for most likely what they felt were pragmatic reasons. I think the dating pool is tough enough as it is, excluding someone for their voting record might cut out more people than one thinks.
Correct. There are many reasons people voted for him, and it has to do with the state of the country as a whole, not him as a person. They wanted change. The wanted someone who wasn't a politician, and that's what they got. Thus, if a person dated someone who voted for Trump, it may have nothing at all to do with politicalleanings at all, but a desire for change in general. As for relationship dealbreakers, I think people are not black and white.
Would I date an ex-con? I did. It depends on a lot of factors. I dated someone with a previous felony charge. He did his time in prison, felt regret for what he had done, and was working consistently at a full time job supporting himself and moving up the company ladder. That I can respect. People deserve a second chance. Would I date a parent with kids living at home? No. Weird? Yes. But parents have all that drama with the exes, visitation, new relationships, custody disputes, and child support and it's not worth it in my view.
Correct. There are many reasons people voted for him, and it has to do with the state of the country as a whole, not him as a person. They wanted change. The wanted someone who wasn't a politician, and that's what they got. Thus, if a person dated someone who voted for Trump, it may have nothing at all to do with politicalleanings at all, but a desire for change in general. As for relationship dealbreakers, I think people are not black and white.
Would I date an ex-con? I did. It depends on a lot of factors. I dated someone with a previous felony charge. He did his time in prison, felt regret for what he had done, and was working consistently at a full time job supporting himself and moving up the company ladder. That I can respect. People deserve a second chance. Would I date a parent with kids living at home? No. Weird? Yes. But parents have all that drama with the exes, visitation, new relationships, custody disputes, and child support and it's not worth it in my view.
Well said, especially the political piece. Thats exactly correct.
I know, I was being hyperbolic. Preferences are certainly not hate.
It certainbly has the potential to cause harm and have negative side effects. I used to smoke quite a bit (far more than would be considered healthy), and anyone who tells you that weed doesn't leave you hung over is lying. Maybe not hungover like alcohol, but it's hard to do your job properly when you feel like someone jammed your throttle at 50% and no amount of coffee will completely wake you up. It got to the point for me that I forgot what it was like to have dreams, and when I drastically scaled back I had weeks of nightmares before I acclimated. Weed withdrawal is a thing too.
I can see it being a dealbreaker if it gets to the point you're describing or the way I used to be. I wouldn't want to be anyone's babysitter either. But I would distinguish between someone who has issues connected to their use of marijuana and someone who smokes it on rare occasion. For myself, I smoke maybe once a month (if that), when I don't have work the next day and I don't have children to care for or responsibilities outside of ordering something through GrubHub. It used to be a problem for me and I wouldn't have wanted me during that time either. I was self-medicating, pure and simple. But now? I do it because I still enjoy it and I have developed the self-control and mental health necessary to properly moderate myself.
I guess that doesn't seem like a big deal to me. But that's why they're preferences and we don't all date the same kinds of people. I'm glad you found someone you sync up with.
I know, I was being hyperbolic. Preferences are certainly not hate.
It certainbly has the potential to cause harm and have negative side effects. I used to smoke quite a bit (far more than would be considered healthy), and anyone who tells you that weed doesn't leave you hung over is lying. Maybe not hungover like alcohol, but it's hard to do your job properly when you feel like someone jammed your throttle at 50% and no amount of coffee will completely wake you up. It got to the point for me that I forgot what it was like to have dreams, and when I drastically scaled back I had weeks of nightmares before I acclimated. Weed withdrawal is a thing too.
I can see it being a dealbreaker if it gets to the point you're describing or the way I used to be. I wouldn't want to be anyone's babysitter either. But I would distinguish between someone who has issues connected to their use of marijuana and someone who smokes it on rare occasion. For myself, I smoke maybe once a month (if that), when I don't have work the next day and I don't have children to care for or responsibilities outside of ordering something through GrubHub. It used to be a problem for me and I wouldn't have wanted me during that time either. I was self-medicating, pure and simple. But now? I do it because I still enjoy it and I have developed the self-control and mental health necessary to properly moderate myself.
I guess that doesn't seem like a big deal to me. But that's why they're preferences and we don't all date the same kinds of people. I'm glad you found someone you sync up with.
Thanks!
And there are plenty of ladies here in Colorado who enjoy MJ so I didn't really feel I was leaving anybody out in the cold, yanno? It's a common enough thing.
FWIW, I certainly would rather be around someone who got high now and then, as opposed to someone who got drunk now and then. Weed is like...maybe it's an issue, possibly a concern, could be a problem...alcohol for me is a solid HELL NO. I've been annoyingly inconvenienced by pot smokers, and might prefer not to pair up and rely on them, or have it in my home. I've been traumatized by people who were drunk, and I avoid even being around drunk people, entirely. So it's always struck me as completely bananas which one of these things the law has prohibited and which it hasn't, though I know the history and the "reasons." (I actually wrote a couple of college papers on it, long ago.)
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