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Well, here I am almost 57 (a male) and have an issue /question.
I have noticed a gradual decline in my sex drive. However, over the last year, it has taken a nose dive.
I have had some testing done to see why this is occurring. I have a few issues but nothing major. I have according to my doctor acceptable but low testosterone it ranges from 285 to 302.
I can go without sex for 3, 4 or 5 weeks & sometimes longer without thinking about it or wanting sex. Most of the time masturbating is a chore and unless it has been weeks since I have had sex or masturbated.
It just is not something I think about, obsess over and really find it more work than pleasure. Getting an erection isn't the issue it is acting on it or wanting to have sex. I just lost the desire. And the WOW that felt great feeling when I force myself is really rare. It is more of a weak satisfaction if any at all. I force myself after a few weeks and IF I didn't force myself. I would not have the desire.
Is all this normal as men age? I politely asked the doc and he said testosterone could be the cause & therapy may help, but he is leary to send me to a specialist because there are a lot of side effects and he wants me to try to raise my testosterone on my own with diet & exercise. But so far, no luck. Every 6 months, I get blood work and every 6 months it is about the same.
Is this normal? am I worrying about nothing?
I feel a bit lethargic compared to how I felt 20 years ago. I don't think I am depressed. I don't smoke, drink & I don't have any major illnesses like cancer or diabetes as far as my tests have shown. I am not obese and I eat fairly well. I do though enjoy an occasional cheeseburger.
anyone else feel this way???
just makes me feel outta wack. somewhat tired, and it is a weird feeling.
lost my mojo?? lol. It is more like completely gone
when I was 30 I did some really 'dumb " things I am lucky I didn't get an STD or aids
I also don't care now if I date. I don't even try (no desire) << is it low T or just me?
32 years ago I dated a girl she was a hottie! I was stupid and we broke up. I was so distraught it was terrible I was so depressed and wanted her so bad!! 3 years ago I found her on social media she was freshly divorced and looking for another relationship. We began talking & she is still as sexy & nice as she was 30 years ago, BUT now the desire to date her or anyone is just not there. We talked a few times BUT I just am not interested & she met a new guy last year and last month got re-married. Unlike how it was 32 years ago, I was glad she found someone as I just was not interested. I wonder what causes this loss of interest.
lost my mojo?? lol. It is more like completely gone
when I was 30 I did some really 'dumb " things I am lucky I didn't get an STD or aids
I also don't care now if I date. I don't even try (no desire) << is it low T or just me?
32 years ago I dated a girl she was a hottie! I was stupid and we broke up. I was so distraught it was terrible I was so depressed and wanted her so bad!! 3 years ago I found her on social media she was freshly divorced and looking for another relationship. We began talking & she is still as sexy & nice as she was 30 years ago, BUT now the desire to date her or anyone is just not there. We talked a few times BUT I just am not interested & she met a new guy last year and last month got re-married. Unlike how it was 32 years ago, I was glad she found someone as I just was not interested. I wonder what causes this loss of interest.
Is this normal?
I think you probably need to see a doctor. I think what is happening is normal but I think you can probably fix it.
I think you probably need to see a doctor. I think what is happening is normal but I think you can probably fix it.
I did and do see the doctor every 6 months for blood work because I take Lipitor. I get my testosterone checked every 6 months and a blood workup for other things. I just had a physical, cardiac exam & was told for my age, I am in decent shape. I have a few issues, but nothing that should cause my issue I have other than testosterone.
There is stuff you can do to change it, if that's your goal, but the treatment might be worse than the cure.
My doctor said the same thing and he does not want me on hormone replacement therapy at least not now He said 285 was the lowest count he saw over the past year. I hover around 296 to 302. I do feel fatigued & just a basic lower energy level and no desire to have sex. My doctor feels there are way too many complications like kidney issues and other things that I am better off at least now to try to get my testosterone level up by exercise and diet. But so far it has not worked
Wonder if I need to see a sex therapist? It is difficult to explain. But if I see a good-looking lady I may notice, but then it is gone. After 2 or 3 weeks of no sexual activity, I may look at porn because I get worried that I have had no "desire" but very often I just don't feel like acting on it. OR it just doesn't "do anything" for me. It is difficult to explain. I will say when I was 20 or even 30 I was not like this.
This makes me think it is testosterone related?
Funny how back in the younger days things were way different. Now I have no drive at all.
all because of testosterone??
Seems like testosterone can get men in trouble IF it makes you crazy for having sex when you are younger and cause boys to do really dumb stuff because they cannot control themselves. <<is that because of testosterone??
Wonder if I need to see a sex therapist? It is difficult to explain.
You may just need a regular therapist to talk through some midlife stress.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruddy57
But if I see a good-looking lady I may notice, but then it is gone.
I mean, what's wrong with that, really?
Are you expecting to jump her? Is it not enough to just see a good-looking woman and move on? What USED to happen when you saw one that makes you think what's happening now is a problem?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruddy57
After 2 or 3 weeks of no sexual activity, I may look at porn because I get worried that I have had no "desire" but very often I just don't feel like acting on it. OR it just doesn't "do anything" for me. It is difficult to explain. I will say when I was 20 or even 30 I was not like this.
I mean this as nicely as possible ... you aren't 20 anymore.
Women your age can experience similar issues. Their sex drive can drop to almost nothing. I know it’s not true of everyone, but it’s common enough.
Maybe that’s what you need in life, if you’re looking for a partner. Find an attractive woman in her early fifties who shares common interests. You can still have sex, but you might find she has other qualities that keep life interesting.
It’s not over yet.
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