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I know the idea of dating coworkers is forbidden, but what about people hired on an as needed basis? Is there still a power differential, or conflict of interest?
I ask because someone hires me on an as needed basis, for a service. I think he's attractive and wouldnt mind dating, and we live in a very small town where there are pretty much no eligible people. They are either very old, very young, already married, or otherwise inappropriate. This is about 50% of the reason I havent dated at all since moving here. There are simply 0 options.
This person is the only person I've encountered who would be an appropriate choice. But we met because he sometimes hires my services, as he needs them. (Its very innocent, I just dont want to give details.)
Last time he called to arrange something and at the end of the call I thought he said "Ok hun." Maybe I imagined it but I thought I heard that.
If he's anything like me he has noted the lack of dating prospects here. Maybe he has 0 interest in dating, or has 0 interest in me, but most people would want to give the one eligible person in town a go, I'd think. Just to chat over a cocktail at the least. Not talking marriage, just some social interaction.
Thoughts? Is there a power differential? Is it a boss-employee relationship?
I, personally, never thought it was THAT big a deal, to date a co-worker. (Shrug shoulders.) As long as both folks are single. (No cheating!) I guess, to me, the main thing would be "If it got awkward, and he no longer hired me for my services, could I afford the loss of income from this guy?" And that's about it.
My Mom married a co worker and did quite well with it for many many years until he passed.
She was also the main money maker and not the dependent one.
He was also a doctor.
He was a good guy and it worked fine.
All the best.
Andy.
Is the guy from Baltimore ? I'm from around there and calling someone "Hon" (or "Hun") is a commonplace affectation, though women use it far more than men (especially these days).
He's from the north/midwest.
Last edited by moongirl00; 01-24-2020 at 10:27 AM..
Don't see anything wrong with it. Know a man who was a contractor who kept getting jobs from a certain woman. They were married 12 years last December.
I think it depends on how reliant the OP is on the income and whether the work is a position of trust. If this guy is 50% of the OP’s income and it would be a hardship to forego the income, it’s probably not a great idea to date the guy. If the OP has a ‘trust’ job like clinical psychologist, obviously not. Taxes? Book keeper? Web design? Dentist? Massage therapist? Landscape designer? Have at it.
I saw him again today and it kind of seemed like he was trying to draw out the conversation (small tall), smiling, making eye contact. I was too but MechAndy's post made an impact on me, and I dont want to be "fast."
If I have read him right he's a bit timid and a fast girl would be offputting. All the guys I've dated from his region have been on the classy side, discerning, polite, shy. I like these traits. I guess I also need to keep things on his speed though, which I can do. Im a north/midwest girl in spirit, so this might be a perfect match but it also might take some years to actually come to fruition.
I know nothing about this person, but I do know that people in business sometimes flirt for the sake of keeping the clients in a good business relationship or whatever.
I saw him again today and it kind of seemed like he was trying to draw out the conversation (small tall), smiling, making eye contact. I was too but MechAndy's post made an impact on me, and I dont want to be "fast."
If I have read him right he's a bit timid and a fast girl would be offputting. All the guys I've dated from his region have been on the classy side, discerning, polite, shy. I like these traits. I guess I also need to keep things on his speed though, which I can do. Im a north/midwest girl in spirit, so this might be a perfect match but it also might take some years to actually come to fruition.
Years seems like a long time to wait, and he would probably have met someone else by then.
If you really like this guy, and would possibly like to date him, then as I said earlier I would suggest the coffee shop thing. If you say it in a vary casual, "friends like" tone, there shouldn't be any problems on his end. It's just two people having a coffee. Tell him you want to discuss the "something about work thing", can he meet you at Starbucks. (I don't know what your work is). Getting the two of you in a non-work environment. Then you will know a lot more than you know now. Just by the way he acts, where does he choose to sit, does he offer to pay... so much that you will find out.
Years seems like a long time to wait, and he would probably have met someone else by then.
If you really like this guy, and would possibly like to date him, then as I said earlier I would suggest the coffee shop thing. If you say it in a vary casual, "friends like" tone, there shouldn't be any problems on his end. It's just two people having a coffee. Tell him you want to discuss the "something about work thing", can he meet you at Starbucks. (I don't know what your work is). Getting the two of you in a non-work environment. Then you will know a lot more than you know now. Just by the way he acts, where does he choose to sit, does he offer to pay... so much that you will find out.
Yeah, I wish I had gotten the nerve to say something like that. I have no reason to contact him at all though, so if I did now it would be pretty obvious I was doing it just to ask him out.
If he hires me again we will see each other and maybe something will happen then. He seemed kind of interested today unless he is just a very polite and friendly guy. Or maybe we will bump into each other in town. Its a tiny place, there is only one coffee place, I might start hanging out there sometimes.
Thanks you all for the help!
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