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Unless she was raped and kept the child (in which my esteem for her would swell to almost unprecedented highs) or widowed you can extrapolate that she, at a minimum, makes bad choices. In the just 30 pool you should be able to find a woman without baggage. Moreover, I would not have a woman who would not put her child first, so if she is a woman of quality you are signing up to always play second string to her child's needs, is that what you truly want to sign up for? There are quality women 30 and under who do not come with strings attached.
I have dated women who have children and put them first, and that is how it should be. But I am an older adult male, with my own life and I am no longer looking to build a life with someone as much as simply being mutual seasoning in someone else's already complete life. You are young, your scope of interest should normally be focused on finding someone to build a life with. Why handicap yourself at a still young age. Time will force picking from other's discards in a few years, why hurry the process?
As an FYI, I meet people on line and it is my preferred method. It makes vetting easy and painless for all concerned. I would your question, at your age, your selection criteria. I know some young guys who target women with children simply because they do not want to fall in love and start a "real" relationship yet so it makes it easy for them to remain emotionally detached; they simply let the relationship drift until the woman will not put up with it any longer and then onto the next one. But you have not indicated that type of reasoning.
Additionally this could be a great relationship for her and you if set the parameters. But I just don't get that read from what you have written.
Personally I do perfer just a single woman but I don’t have a problem dating a single mother in the right situation. I feel there’s a good connection with her so far so there’s a bit of an exception.
I think it came down to different circumstances at times, in June of last year I got rejected by a different woman so I reach back out to the current one because I had always liked her (still do) & I thought we could continue to connect & build so far it’s working. From 2015-2019 was basically on & off chat with her, but ever since July of last year I’ve been heavily pursuing her.
You both sound like you were checking out other offers and when they fell through you both looked toward each other.
Sounds like a, “I’m 30...DONT have too many options... why not hit this person up?”
Update: She has agreed “Today” to meet me halfway in Chattanooga in either March or April for a weekend date but it won’t be easy because she would have to do it when she doesn’t have her son. I took everyone’s advice here seriously, so I thank all of you in this thread that contributed because without you all I wouldn’t have an extra 2nd date lined up. I definitely give BirdieBelle a shoutout, your idea really helped me. As far as me getting a week in June, again no guarantee, if it was just a few days I would be happy with that.
Honestly even though I’m 30, I don’t have a lot of “Dating” experience. I’ve only had 1 Girlfriend before and that was when I was in HS.
In response to some of the posts here I’m not really bothered that she’s a single mother I think mostly due to me understanding her situation & basically connecting with her. I just hope that all turns out well & we continue to build & yes she also agreed to build & grow with me. Also her child will always be 1st, I know & understand that & I’m ok with that.
Scheduling a first meet in March or April in January doesn't show genuine interest. I know she has a son, and it is right to put him first. I would think that she could arrange for a short meet before March or April. It appears that she doesn't have much time. Does she have time to date?
Sounds like she likes talking to you but isn't serious about meeting up. I don't see momentum coming out of this for a real relationship. If someone really wants to get together they make time and make it work without delaying.
Scheduling a first meet in March or April in January doesn't show genuine interest. I know she has a son, and it is right to put him first. I would think that she could arrange for a short meet before March or April. It appears that she doesn't have much time. Does she have time to date?
The earliest weekend that I’m able to see her would be the 3rd weekend in February. I have to take days off 3 weeks in advance & I work every weekend. She works every other weekend & I know she has her son which is another reason I gave it more time, I just gave it March or April because it gives both of us enough time to plan it out & be ready.
Sounds like she likes talking to you but isn't serious about meeting up. I don't see momentum coming out of this for a real relationship. If someone really wants to get together they make time and make it work without delaying.
We both enjoy communicating with each other, but I know that actions speak louder than words. Trust me she wants to see me just as much I want to see her. Once we going on these Dates that’s where the momentum will start to kick in.
We both enjoy communicating with each other, but I know that actions speak louder than words. Trust me she wants to see me just as much I want to see her. Once we going on these Dates that’s where the momentum will start to kick in.
So, I didn't read all 5 pages of this, but basically what you're saying is that you've taken 5 years to get to the point of asking this woman (whom you've never met, never even been in the same room, what you ARE is "pen pals") on a date, and you expect that somehow sparks will fly?
So, I didn't read all 5 pages of this, but basically what you're saying is that you've taken 5 years to get to the point of asking this woman (whom you've never met, never even been in the same room, what you ARE is "pen pals") on a date, and you expect that somehow sparks will fly?
Don't hold your breath.
I should have asked her on a date a lot sooner, I’m just fortunate that she’s interested in me & that I even have a chance with her.
It was a mistake on my part, but as I as said earlier in the post I don’t have a lot of “Dating” experience.
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