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To be honest I highly doubt he is busy. On Facebook he is active ALL the time and still "love" reacting my posts. He is posting stuff all day too. Even my friend thinks it's malicious that he is posting stuff and clearly on Facebook, engaging with people, but not getting back to me. Like I said, I responded to 11 songs individually and in depth all within an hour. He could do the same for one lousy poem. It wasn't even that long. Especially someone like him who obviously loves to type and read.
...
I'm sorry I'm not replying to anyone individually. I am a little overwhelmed with the responses but to answers some of the common opinions about my poem being "disturbing" and that may be the reason why he ghosted. Could be true....BUT he was the one who kept asking to read my writings and was pushing for it in a nice way. I told him flat out I dont like to share my poems because it's my personal deep pain I write about. I would say my writings are depressing and not disturbing. I dont wrote about killing people lol. I just write about what I went through. I actually sent him a light one that was about losing my friend and how I felt about it. It was all my pain about losing my best friend. So, I wouldn't imagine it being "disturbing" nor to the point of terminating contact.
Plus he knew what he was getting himself into for even asking, when I clearly told him it's depressing and my pain I write out. He replied with "I understand. I just feel it will get to know you better. I am fascinated by that deep beautiful brain of yours." So, he was still pushing and making me feel comfortable about it. So, that's on him if he couldn't handle it. I handled his depressing songs, but if I didn't want to read anything depressing then I would not ask to see it, but I didn't take it upon myself to send him my poem. He asked and I told him what it consists of, and he still was eager to see my writings.
Also, if that was the case, then he still wouldn't be "love" reacting my posts and pictures. After I sent the poem, he never replied, but continued to "love" react my posts and pictures. So, if he was so scared off, I would imagine he would just unfriend me or not even like anything.
Also, I know I can call over messenger but I find that to be creepy since I don't know him personally. Plus, I felt that was his job to do that if that's the case. Since he initiated conversation, he should call, or give me his number. I never asked, I was waiting for him to evolve the conversation to a personal interaction.
It all is just mindboggling but I'm leaning towards the fact he played me, and loved the attention, and also stole my poem for song lyrics since he was pressing the issue for me to send him some. He wanted to know about me. He was really eager to get close to me it seemed, but he didn't do anything to progress it in the same manner. So, it all is confusing. He was really laying it on thick, and super intrigued by me, so it's just hurtful that he seemed really into me, and then just ghosts without a reason. For my sake, I do want to ask him, but who knows if I would get an honest answer.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses
Also, I know I can call over messenger but I find that to be creepy since I don't know him personally. Plus, I felt that was his job to do that if that's the case. Since he initiated conversation, he should call, or give me his number. I never asked, I was waiting for him to evolve the conversation to a personal interaction. .
Wait, please tell me I'm missing this. You never asked for his number, and you never asked him out directly, but you're complaining that he never progressed the interactions to asking you out? I'm not reading that right, I hope. Please tell me I'm missing something.
I'm sorry I'm not replying to anyone individually. I am a little overwhelmed with the responses but to answers some of the common opinions about my poem being "disturbing" and that may be the reason why he ghosted. Could be true....BUT he was the one who kept asking to read my writings and was pushing for it in a nice way. I told him flat out I dont like to share my poems because it's my personal deep pain I write about. I would say my writings are depressing and not disturbing. I dont wrote about killing people lol. I just write about what I went through. I actually sent him a light one that was about losing my friend and how I felt about it. It was all my pain about losing my best friend. So, I wouldn't imagine it being "disturbing" nor to the point of terminating contact.
Plus he knew what he was getting himself into for even asking, when I clearly told him it's depressing and my pain I write out. He replied with "I understand. I just feel it will get to know you better. I am fascinated by that deep beautiful brain of yours." So, he was still pushing and making me feel comfortable about it. So, that's on him if he couldn't handle it. I handled his depressing songs, but if I didn't want to read anything depressing then I would not ask to see it, but I didn't take it upon myself to send him my poem. He asked and I told him what it consists of, and he still was eager to see my writings.
Also, if that was the case, then he still wouldn't be "love" reacting my posts and pictures. After I sent the poem, he never replied, but continued to "love" react my posts and pictures. So, if he was so scared off, I would imagine he would just unfriend me or not even like anything.
Also, I know I can call over messenger but I find that to be creepy since I don't know him personally. Plus, I felt that was his job to do that if that's the case. Since he initiated conversation, he should call, or give me his number. I never asked, I was waiting for him to evolve the conversation to a personal interaction.
It all is just mindboggling but I'm leaning towards the fact he played me, and loved the attention, and also stole my poem for song lyrics since he was pressing the issue for me to send him some. He wanted to know about me. He was really eager to get close to me it seemed, but he didn't do anything to progress it in the same manner. So, it all is confusing. He was really laying it on thick, and super intrigued by me, so it's just hurtful that he seemed really into me, and then just ghosts without a reason. For my sake, I do want to ask him, but who knows if I would get an honest answer.
I agree, but that's what I was waiting for with him. I was waiting for him to progress it outside of FB and for him to give me his number. I enjoy long convos, but I definitely wanted something more out of our convos. Even if it all ended up just us being friends, I still wanted to meet in person regardless. It all confuses me because he put so much effort and thought into our messages, and then he ghosts instead of flowing with the energy we had.
Lesson learned. Next time, don’t wait for what you want.
Wait, please tell me I'm missing this. You never asked for his number, and you never asked him out directly, but you're complaining that he never progressed the interactions to asking you out? I'm not reading that right, I hope. Please tell me I'm missing something.
I didn't ask him out because I thought it would naturally come about on his end. He offered free lessons and I said once I figure out my schedule and get a guitar I would definitely like drumming and guitar lessons from him. That was like the go ahead at that point to respond with "Ok, well when you figure things out text or call me. We can set a session up." I felt I was giving him quite a bit of opportunities. I am the type of person where you have to be bold with me. However, I felt in our convos i opened that door of him offering his number or asking me out, and he didn't seem to bite.
Learn to guard your heart better. This lesson can be the one positive outcome of this interaction.
I understand. I just wonder if he would say anything if I asked why things have changed. For my sake, because honestly I dont want to engage with him and he lost any opportunity he had with me at this point. But because I'm so confused and communication means everything to me. I'm tempted to ask him what is wrong? Or what happened? What changed? Just to see what he says and of course if he doesn't respond to that, then I would block him. Because it's so messed up to just mess with someone's feelings and head like that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses
I didn't ask him out because I thought it would naturally come about on his end. He offered free lessons and I said once I figure out my schedule and get a guitar I would definitely like drumming and guitar lessons from him. That was like the go ahead at that point to respond with "Ok, well when you figure things out text or call me. We can set a session up." I felt I was giving him quite a bit of opportunities. I am the type of person where you have to be bold with me. However, I felt in our convos i opened that door of him offering his number or asking me out, and he didn't seem to bite.
Ok, this is 100% on you. Totally on you. You assumed instead of acted.
If you want to go out with someone, ask.
If you don't, its ALLLLLL on you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses
I understand. I just wonder if he would say anything if I asked why things have changed. For my sake, because honestly I dont want to engage with him and he lost any opportunity he had with me at this point. But because I'm so confused and communication means everything to me. I'm tempted to ask him what is wrong? Or what happened? What changed? Just to see what he says and of course if he doesn't respond to that, then I would block him. Because it's so messed up to just mess with someone's feelings and head like that.
That's a lie. Straight up falsehood. If communication meant that much, you would have communicated instead of playing games. You would have asked him out. Directly. It's quite common, and its how things get done.
I understand. I just wonder if he would say anything if I asked why things have changed. For my sake, because honestly I dont want to engage with him and he lost any opportunity he had with me at this point. But because I'm so confused and communication means everything to me. I'm tempted to ask him what is wrong? Or what happened? What changed? Just to see what he says and of course if he doesn't respond to that, then I would block him. Because it's so messed up to just mess with someone's feelings and head like that.
I dont mean to sound harsh, but to him you were text on a screen. You didnt meet, never had a phone conversation. It wasnt real flesh and blood he was dealing with, just code, text.
He is real to you, but not everyone has the richness of imagination to be able create a real breathing person out of text.
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