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Old 02-04-2020, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,512 posts, read 8,300,954 times
Reputation: 18579

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Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses View Post
If you want full details, please refer to my previous post. I sent him a simple message and said "Hey...how is everything? Did my poem scare you away? Lol." He replied with a LONG message again and explained why he has been distant. He said "You and your messages/poem are not the reason why I was delayed in responding to you." "I really like you. There is nothing to scare off. Please let go of that way of thinking lol."

He went on to say that he broke up with his one band, his college classes got dropped due to low enrollment, then he says how I could never scare him away, and that my poem was beautiful, etc. He also said "Btw, I had a dream about you." I replied to his message and it was normal. I asked what the dream consist of lol. I also said I know about low enrollment because I had to switch some of my classes around due to that. He said "The dream... I don't really remember, kinda forgot, but I know it was you and we were having fun laughing." Like ok??? You just said you had a dream about me, now it's "I don't remember"? What? It didn't make sense.

He really played dumb and it was as if we were first conversing again. He was not gushy, using heart emojis, and very platonic this time around in his messages. He asked me "Oh what are you going to school for? How far are you into it?" That really off putted me. We had a discussion about this prior. We talked somewhat in depth about my major, his major, and colleges. I told him prior I was only 4 classes away from getting my associates and transfering. So, I was utterly confused he asked those questions? That really disgusted me. It was like he was playing dumb. I'm kinda confused by it all. I sent him one last message as a reply, and I even stated that we had a convo about that. He never replied and kept me on "read" again on Facebook.

He's still doing the same old crap of posting stuff, being active online, and ghosting me once again. His response was obviously BS. However, I never encountered a guy that almost acted as if his memory was wiped clean. He literally was conversing with me like it was the first time he ever did! He was not acting like himself, in the sense of being gushy, overly friendly, using heart emojis, and even playing dumb. He acted like we never talked about my major and college? Saying he dreampt of me, then saying he doesn't "remember"? It was very dry all of a sudden. I, of course am not conversing with him at all, ever again. I got my answer, but I'm confused. I never encountered someone who just acts like all those long messages never existed. Yet is telling me that I could never scare him away and that he really likes me? Is this a player act? Some of my friends think he's mental or on drugs, but who knows. I just wanted opinions on what this sounds like and what it means when a guy plays really dumb, completely forgets everything, is very dry, and not like he was when we were conversing?
I think you were/are just one of many women he's been messaging.

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses View Post
I just wanted to see for my sake what he would respond with. It's obvious it was a game but what I don't get is that why write LONG lengthy messages and get to know someone on that level and ghost? I just never encountered that. The only guys that did those sort of things were guys that weren't that engaging with me. Like you could read between the lines they were just in it for a hook up. This guy really was putting effort into messages and responding to me, and get to know me as a person. He is also very intelligent with a very comfortable welcoming nature. He wasn't just your typical player. It really confused me.

I understand now. He is not into me. I just find it odd he is completely acting like we never conversed, and says "I had a dream about you" then when I ask what it was "I forgot but you were in it." Uhhh??? That doesn't even make sense. Also, to go on to say "I really like you and our messages and your poem is not what caused my delay." Is going the extra mile. To me that is. Usually when I dealt with players they didn't even bother to explain themselves and just would say a one word answer or randomly pop up again wanting to hang out. So, I guess I'm just confused because he really played a role of a decent guy. But whatever. It was hurtful. I am hurt by the fact that I did open up to someone I thought would be a good friend eventually or a friend of some sort. It hurts to know I was just being toyed with.
CTRL-C CTRL-V

Copy and paste is my guess.

Last edited by HokieFan; 02-04-2020 at 01:57 PM..
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Old 02-04-2020, 02:57 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 3,739,695 times
Reputation: 4103
Sounds like a waste of time.
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Old 02-04-2020, 03:20 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,406,233 times
Reputation: 9547
The pitch is always the hardest part of the sale.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:18 AM
 
12,918 posts, read 16,772,120 times
Reputation: 5434
The two of you are obviously not compatible if you are this confused. Some people, especially when they are young, do everything based purely on their emotions because they have no other guide, and because it's all they really know.
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Old 02-05-2020, 09:41 AM
 
1,185 posts, read 740,325 times
Reputation: 2398
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
The pitch is always the hardest part of the sale.
Nah.. it's the close. Dude isn't a good closer.
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Old 02-05-2020, 10:03 AM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,260,675 times
Reputation: 4633
OP it may not necessarily be he is "toying" with you so much as that he just cast a wide net and was chatting concurrently with many different people. He will get them mixed up sometimes, forget details, ask the same questions again.

The dream thing was just him flirting. Its basically a line.

Im sorry things didnt work out as you hoped though.

This is why I have come to avoid online dating myself, or even chatting with people I meet on social media. For most people its just a way to pass time, and the person on the other end isnt a real person to them.

You are not a real 3d person until you meet in person and hit it off face to face.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:58 PM
 
7,019 posts, read 3,707,388 times
Reputation: 3251
you are in competition with other woman
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Old 02-05-2020, 06:04 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,117,353 times
Reputation: 55550
Algorithms do that
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Old 02-06-2020, 04:19 PM
 
601 posts, read 1,070,582 times
Reputation: 325
Quote:
Originally Posted by InfraredRoses View Post
I am utterly confused. I friended this musician back in the summer of 2019. He messaged me and asked if I was at one of his shows because I looked familiar. I said I actually think I was, but because I saw that he was a musician, I try to be friends with like minded people. We just kinda kept it at that. Like "Nice to meet you." I guess.

Well in december he started love reacting everything I was posting and even hopped on a philosophical post of mine. He then private messaged me saying how intrigued he was by views on life, and my intelligence. Then it progressed to me telling him I write alot, and us having deep conversations, and us kinda exposing our vulnerable side which is our trauma. We both went through similar trauma. He sent me like 11 songs of his so I could read his writing. I replied in depth to each one individually. I was intrigued by his poetry.

The messages he wrote were LONG! Like running out of chracters long. We messaged each other back and forth. We were so in sync and bonded very well. He was very respectful, and gave me compliments that were a reasonable amount. It was nice for a change to talk to a guy that wanted to get to know.me. Not have him give me one liners and constantly comment about my beauty or hooking up. He even said he would let me use his Hulu account if I wanted to, and even offered free drumming lessons to hone in on my skills. He didn't offer his number though or ask me out, which is what I was waiting for. He said he was "hooked" on me and intrigued by me as whole. He was saying how I am his favorite person to talk to and he enjoys our convos, deep thoughts/opinions, and admires me.

Yet he wasn't progressing the friendship outside of FB? So, he kept pushing in a nice way for me to send my writings to him. My poems. I told him how dark, depressing, and emotional they are because I never write about anything happy. He said. "I'm sure they are which is why I'm more intrigued. It would allow me to get you know you more and what is inside of that beautiful deep brain of yours. I'm really fascinated by your intelligence." I trusted him as our convos were super time consuming and long, I figured I would send him ONE poem.

I did and he hasn't responded to me in 10 days! He is active on FB and posting stuff non stop. Even made a post saying "I am off tomorrow if anyone wants to hang?" Uhh? Wouldn't you ask your "favorite" person? The one you are "hooked on"? That kinda hurt me. Because he can't reply to my message or my poem, but I replied to 11 songs he wrote, and gave him my in depth response to each one individually all within an hour? I am so confused? He keeps love reacting my pictures and some of my posts, yet won't respond to my last message and poem I sent him? It takes alot out of me to trust a man, especially one I haven't met. I felt we were vibing so well and it would progress to a deeper level since we were building a solid friendship. He made me feel so important, special, and everything else. He even said that quite a few times how special I was and I felt it. Now, I feel unimportant, not a priority, confused, and baffled.

Because why initiate conversation, send LONG messages, listen to everything I say, and share similar stories of trauma, pain, have deep convos, saying how much he really likes me, how I'm his favorite, saying how special and beautiful I am, and that he is hooked on me, and share writings, then ghost? I never felt so betrayed because I would expect this from some one dimensional minded guy that sent me one liners, or didn't want to get to know me, and complimented me non stop. But this guy actually treated me like I mattered, engaged in LONG conversations, listened to me, and opened up to me, and we talked about so many deep thoughts about life. He even offered free drumming lessons, and his Hulu account. I really thought we were heading somewhere, but it's been 10 days left on "read" and I am honestly hurt by this. Should I express that to him? What does this sound like to you?
Don’t make yourself too available, take out time for yourself. Treat people accordingly, make sure they’re worthy of your time. Also you have to keep people intrigued.
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