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He wants you to just come over and "catch a vibe." This, ladies, is what is being labeled as "the pre-date." The new but not-quite-so-new way for a guy, or girl, to "temperature check" and feel you out with the goal of gauging whether or not you are quote-unquote "worthy of a real first date where real coins are spent." Simply put, it's testing the waters to see if he can get the goods without spending the money and/or making a real emotional or spiritual investment.
I’m confused, wouldn’t this be the point of a coffee date?
I’m confused, wouldn’t this be the point of a coffee date?
Yes, EXCEPT for this:
Quote:
it's testing the waters to see if he can get the goods without spending the money and/or making a real emotional or spiritual investment.
What "goods" do you think she's referring to? At his place...?
However, she contradicts herself farther down in the article. She cites getting drinks after work as another example. Clearly, no "goods" can be gotten at a bar or restaurant bar, so that one definitely is more the equivalent of a coffee date, except that it costs more, and earlier she states that one purpose of pre-dating is to not spend much or any money.
And it's been quite common for generations: drinks after work. Sounds like she's trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, except for that first example of meeting at his place to "catch a vibe". I wonder how many women agree to go to a stranger's pad as a pre-date, instead of coffee or drinks.
In any case, pre-dates are nothing new; been around since OLD became popular, and even before, if you call after-work drinks "pre-dating". Another click bait article.
Folks who write these articles be putting a new swing on everything these days.....
It's a poorly-written article, too. She seems to throw everything but the kitchen sink into one category, even though the examples she gives contradict each other and her other statements. It's a bit of a jumble. Looks like she cranked out an article on the fly to meet a deadline.
Back in the day, this was called "courtship," or at least the start of it.
This is from a comment below the post:
" He can "predate" a plethora of women and might even get lucky along the way, without investing any real time, attention and let alone, money. #illpass"
The point of a predate is to invest time and attention once, to see if he wants to do it again. Any sane person, male or female, should do that. I will therefore conclude the real issue is about money, which is mentioned repeatedly in such a short article:
"...gauging whether or not you are quote-unquote "worthy of a real first date where real coins are spent."
"...Simply put, it's testing the waters to see if he can get the goods without spending the money ..."
"... Men honestly think THEY are the one's who should be screening THEIR time & money.."
Perhaps if a guy invited her to a pre-date and offered to cut her a check for, or PayPal her, a reasonable figure she might feel less offended?
We called this being friends and hanging out back in my day.
Yup. My wife and I were friends for about a year and a half before we got together. We had thoroughly innocent friend dates, had lunch together, and went to a concert together with no expectations. We were friends, both dating others, just having a nice time with absolutely no designs for a sexual/intimate relationship.
We called this being friends and hanging out back in my day.
Yes! This!!!
Now a total taboo because most people insist that being friends and dating are two different things and should be kept separate.
People actually FEAR being put into a friend zone.
Perhaps we should reevaluate our beliefs and go back to being friends first?
You see, generally friends knew each other much longer before they started dating vs nowadays dating total strangers...
Yes! This!!!
Now a total taboo because most people insist that being friends and dating are two different things and should be kept separate.
People actually FEAR being put into a friend zone.
Perhaps we should reevaluate our beliefs and go back to being friends first?
You see, generally friends knew each other much longer before they started dating vs nowadays dating total strangers...
When was it, that dating happened as a result of "personals" ads in the newspaper? The 80's? Not only were daters complete strangers back then, but there weren't even any photos to go by. All dates were "blind" dates. You had no idea what to expect, as you waited for your date to show up at the agreed-upon location.
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