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Whoever issues the invitation should pay. All of it. And women should be doing some of the inviting, absolutely! If she doesn't reciprocate, stop dating her.
But invite someone out and ask them to pay half -- big fat NO. That's rude.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Nothing, which is why its the norm and has been since zi started dating about 30yrs ago. I didn't pay for either date this weekend (other than getting the lyft), and assuming there is a next, I will get next time.
Whoever issues the invitation should pay. All of it. And women should be doing some of the inviting, absolutely! If she doesn't reciprocate, stop dating her.
But invite someone out and ask them to pay half -- big fat NO. That's rude.
Hey what if you can ask them to pay part of their half? Like if her meal costs $10, pay for 3-4 of it for her.
Hey what if you can ask them to pay part of their half? Like if her meal costs $10, pay for 3-4 of it for her.
Women are not meters that you feed coins into, to maintain your parking space. Who are all these women you're dating, that expect so much from you, anyway? Or are your questions mainly theoretical? (They're starting to sound like it.)
. My goal is to be in a long term relationship but this is one way I believe men get the short end in dating; .
If a woman's goal is marriage, not just a long term relationship, she may not want to date a man indefinitely. Her biological clock is ticking and by "long term relationship" she may feel she's giving up valuable time to you while you waffle on whether or not to marry her. Where I'm going with this is, you need to find a woman who's not focused on getting married, who may be less traditional. She would be more willing to date long term without a marriage proposal and thus, probably more likely to pitch in for her expenses.
I've known women who dated the same man for years and then he ends the relationship. They marry someone else but find out they are no longer fertile enough to get pregnant, and may wind up spending lots of money and seeing a lot of doctors to have a child. Because they wasted time with the wrong man. So that's not fair either.
I do think men sacrifice money in dating but women sacrifice their biological clock time. (The ones who want to have children, that is).
it's just something to think about.
As for your scenario about paying for a $10 meal, I don't know how to answer that. I've never dated a man who had difficulty with paying ten dollars for something.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think the dating dynamics should reflect the expectations both have in the future relationship. Meaning if the one party expects the other to stay home and be a homemaker, that party should be financially responsible for the dates. If both parties expect to maintain equality in finances and work, then they should split. It would be a very simple way to find out if your preferred financial dynamics are aligned. I always wanted my independence, so I always insisted on either going dutch, or taking turns paying. Southern men often have a hard time with this, but I was not looking for a head-of-household; I was looking for an equal partner. It can be a strange concept for traditional men (and women) to wrap their heads around.
If there is a disconnect (for example, the man insists on paying, but the woman wants to split) then you should err on the side of respecting the dignity and independence of both parties, and engaging the split. Things probably aren't going to work out, anyway, so allow it to be a wash for everyone.
And, not to be a stickler for semantics, but maybe some of you gents (and ladies) could reevaluate your thoughts and language around discussing the check? I see some of you mentioning that you shouldn't listen to her insistence on paying her own way, or maybe "allowing" her to cover the tip. Her financial dignity should not be yours to "allow" her to keep. You're already off on the wrong foot. An easy way to tell if you're being a bit sexist, is think about what you would do if you were at a dinner with a possible business partner (male). If he insisted on splitting the check, you'd let him, to respect his dignity. There's no reason you shouldn't do the same for an independent woman. I'm not mad at you, just trying to help you see things from a different perspective. Some of us ladies really don't want to be treated like the little woman anymore. We want to be your partner on equal (but sometimes different) footing.
And if your counter-argument is that you don't want to sleep with the male business partner, then please consider why that is at ALL connected to a financial obligation. If you want to pay for sex, there are easier, more sure-fire ways.
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