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so i've been with my boyfriend now for about 4 years. we met freshman year in college, we're the same age and now i'm about to graduate in may. he started college the same time as me but kept slackin off and now here we are and his expected graduation date isn't till may 2010. i know its selfish of me but its like i can't really start my life with him still being in school. i mean i love him a lot but its hard to see a future. is it wrong to have these feelings? i guess its also because i've always pictured the man to take care of the woman but in my case its the opposite. can any of yall relate to this?
well i cant relate exactly to that, but i did have the same sentiment that the man should take care of the woman. i dont know why, since bith my parents always worked...
anyway for over 10 years my dh and i always worked, i also went to school and we actually ended up making the same salary at one point.
now i am a sahm and he takes care of me. i have to be honest--it's not all it's cracked up to be. i feel like i am dependent on him, i feel like i lost my sense of self, and my power.
it's not that he does or says anything to make me feel that way--it's just a product of the fact that i have always worked from age 16. hopefully once my son goes to school i will get some of me back...
if you really love him and cant imagine your life with anyone else, then be patient. he may surprise you and buckle down and become a great man.
if you feel you are too young to settle down anyway, then try to pursue yourself for a while and you may find another relationship that may end up being better.
so i've been with my boyfriend now for about 4 years. we met freshman year in college, we're the same age and now i'm about to graduate in may. he started college the same time as me but kept slackin off and now here we are and his expected graduation date isn't till may 2010. i know its selfish of me but its like i can't really start my life with him still being in school. i mean i love him a lot but its hard to see a future. is it wrong to have these feelings? i guess its also because i've always pictured the man to take care of the woman but in my case its the opposite. can any of yall relate to this?
Hunker down. It's only a couple years, you are still way young. If this is a good long term relationship (4 years! holy cow, I would be happy with 2 months), then why cut it off right now? Yes a man should be a good provider in a relationship, but it's not like he's 40 and slacking off, he's just a youngin' still. Give him a little time yet, be supportive, and hopefully he pulls his whole act together and finishes up. Always keep a job though, even if it's a small one. Better to have some income on your own than none at all.
he started college the same time as me but kept slackin off and now here we are and his expected graduation date isn't till may 2010.
Sounds like a throw-back to me. And it's not selfish of you to feel the way you do. I'm not saying to drop him... but don't hitch your wagon to this horse just yet, either. I'd say you should use the time to check out some other horses while he's getting his act together.
i know its selfish of me but its like i can't really start my life with him still being in school. i mean i love him a lot but its hard to see a future. is it wrong to have these feelings? i guess its also because i've always pictured the man to take care of the woman but in my case its the opposite. can any of yall relate to this?
I don't understand why you feel you can't start your life with him still being in school. My husband and I met when I was a freshman and he was a junior in college. So he graduated two years before me. He got a job and an apartment not too far from the college. I continued with my studies and we continued to date then got married after I graduated. In your case, things are flipped around, but unless you are supporting him now, I don't see why you would "take care of" him while he continues in school. If you love him and the relationship is good, start your life (get a job and a place to live) while keeping him in your life. When he graduates, he should get a job also and the two of you can decide what your future holds.
so i've been with my boyfriend now for about 4 years. we met freshman year in college, we're the same age and now i'm about to graduate in may. he started college the same time as me but kept slackin off and now here we are and his expected graduation date isn't till may 2010....
Frankly., more info. is needed in order to weigh in on this. Did he not complete his degree because he was busy working and not studying? Does he has a family and/or financial background that might make it more difficult for him to complete his degree? Deducing from your "slackin'" comment it sounds like he's just been a slacker for the last few years? Which leads me to ask: have you grown and matured markedly over these past four years while he has not? Have you guys talked about where in life you both see yourselves in one year? Two years? Five years?
When I was a Freshman in high school, my wife was in the second grade.
When I was in the second year of college, she was in Graduate School.
We did our Masters Project as a team, graduated at the same time, and embarked on our life together.
I retired six years ago.
She will retire in six weeks, and we will embark on our new life together - again.
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