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Old 04-29-2020, 11:13 AM
 
22 posts, read 14,415 times
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I have 23 years and my 32-year-old girlfriend wants a baby ASAP, she told her biological clock is “running out”. I want baby also, but I have no money. She told me she can sustain a baby financially. Why do I still worry?
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Old 04-29-2020, 11:18 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,246,568 times
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Don't have a child or commingle your finances till you're married.


The line about biological clock is BS. My aunt had two children well past age 40, in the 1950s.


Get married first, then start a family. If she won't do that, then keep your raincoat on.
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Old 04-29-2020, 11:29 AM
 
22 posts, read 14,415 times
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We talk about getting married. We have huge chemistry and she is financially well being
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Old 04-29-2020, 11:36 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,246,568 times
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Don't "think about it" till you find yourself with an out of wedlock baby and child support for the next 25 years.
And keep your raincoat on!
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Old 04-29-2020, 11:51 AM
 
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I won't leave her. We are together for 4 years despite everybody telling us that we have too big of an age gap to be in a relationship. All I can do is tell her I don't want children before marriage.
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Old 04-29-2020, 12:50 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,980,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimber View Post
I won't leave her. We are together for 4 years despite everybody telling us that we have too big of an age gap to be in a relationship. All I can do is tell her I don't want children before marriage.

That's fine. But for your own sake, if you're not ready for kids, wear a condom. Every time.
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Old 04-29-2020, 12:52 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,084 posts, read 18,482,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimber View Post
I won't leave her. We are together for 4 years despite everybody telling us that we have too big of an age gap to be in a relationship. All I can do is tell her I don't want children before marriage.
Then marry her! The age gap isn't a matter of chronological time anyway. If you two are at a compatible point in your lives (what you want and need out of life and a partner at this point) maybe you are ready for a formal commitment. The fact that you are writing this suggests that you aren't on the same page. If your GF can't see this and respect your views about having children, don't. Partnership is about respect and understanding. If you don't have it, forget it.

FWIW, my youngest sister married a man 20+ years her senior. They have been happily married for over 25 years and raised two college age sons. They have many of the same interests, work in the same profession, share many of the same values. The timing worked for them despite the chronological gap in age. Does that always work out? Of course not. Depends on the self awareness and maturity of the people involved.
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Old 04-29-2020, 01:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,128 posts, read 107,402,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimber View Post
I have 23 years and my 32-year-old girlfriend wants a baby ASAP, she told her biological clock is “running out”. I want baby also, but I have no money. She told me she can sustain a baby financially. Why do I still worry?
I'm going to disagree with the others a little here, and suggest you postpone marriage until you're on your feet financially. Having huge chemistry isn't enough to sustain a marriage long term. Have you discussed what your financial future would look like together? Would she be ok with being the main "Breadwinner", even if you do get some kind of job/career? And where are you with regards to your education and your life goals? Do you have concrete plans to improve your financial present and future?

Her bio clock is nowhere near running out. Maybe her hormones have kicked into high gear, pushing her in that direction, IDK. Or maybe this is just her way of pushing you into marriage, or of using you as a sperm donor. We have no idea, without knowing the two of you better.

But don't give in to pressure, if it doesn't feel like the right time to make such a huge decision and commitment.
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Old 04-29-2020, 01:03 PM
 
20,263 posts, read 19,850,330 times
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NEVER be pressured into having a child.

Nobody wins.

How long have you two been a couple?
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Old 04-29-2020, 01:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,128 posts, read 107,402,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doc1 View Post
NEVER be pressured into having a child.

Nobody wins.

How long have you two been a couple?
He said 4 years, IOW, since he was 19.
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