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The kinsey scale is a pretty old idea. Kinsey used a rating of 0-6 with 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual. 1 and 5 are those sorts of "I'm straight/gay but nevertheless so-and-so is awfully hot" type situations...I think a lot of people who think of themselves as straight have had a little crush or two on someone of the same sex at some point, maybe a celeb. It could also apply to people who'd engage in situational homosexuality - like, in ordinary circumstances they'd only sleep with the opposite sex, but in the extended absence of the opposite sex they're willing to engage with someone of the same sex rather than be celibate indefinitely. Mr. life partner guy could easily be a 1 or 2 so he doesn't really think of himself as bisexual even though obviously he must be to some degree.
Anyway, I don't think everything needs a label. If they're happy and it works for them, good for them.
I’m glad this thread reopened. I wanted to thank everyone for the responses. I understand the reluctance to believe this because it is strange but I now think my Straight Friend is actually bisexual. He just needs time to realize and accept it.
This weekend I had a long FaceTime conversation with Straight Friend. He basically told me that the reason he says he is still straight is because he is still attracted to women and hasn’t given his sexual identification a lot of thought. He was so beaten up by his last breakup that he admits to avoiding thinking about it. He says all he knows is that he is deeply in love with his gay best friend and he knows this is the best decision they ever made. They have been isolating together and it’s been great. I’m very happy for them.
So as strange as all this sounds, it has gotten stranger. Apparently about six weeks ago Straight Friend got a call from his ex girlfriend. She is pregnant with his child and is due in September. They decided that Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend are going to raise the child which is why they also decided to get married. The reason it has all taken so long is the girlfriend could not decide if she wanted to have the baby. She does not want to raise a child but Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend do. After she told him, she did a paternity test that showed the child is his. So the plan is they will get married over the summer and hopefully buy a house before the baby comes. I have some reservations about all this but are wishing them the best.
I’m glad this thread reopened. I wanted to thank everyone for the responses. I understand the reluctance to believe this because it is strange but I now think my Straight Friend is actually bisexual. He just needs time to realize and accept it.
This weekend I had a long FaceTime conversation with Straight Friend. He basically told me that the reason he says he is still straight is because he is still attracted to women and hasn’t given his sexual identification a lot of thought. He was so beaten up by his last breakup that he admits to avoiding thinking about it. He says all he knows is that he is deeply in love with his gay best friend and he knows this is the best decision they ever made. They have been isolating together and it’s been great. I’m very happy for them.
So as strange as all this sounds, it has gotten stranger. Apparently about six weeks ago Straight Friend got a call from his ex girlfriend. She is pregnant with his child and is due in September. They decided that Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend are going to raise the child which is why they also decided to get married. The reason it has all taken so long is the girlfriend could not decide if she wanted to have the baby. She does not want to raise a child but Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend do. After she told him, she did a paternity test that showed the child is his. So the plan is they will get married over the summer and hopefully buy a house before the baby comes. I have some reservations about all this but are wishing them the best.
Wow. And Gay Best Friend isn't upset that Not-Really-Straight Friend and soon-to-be Husband was sleeping with his ex not that long ago?
What a mess. This guy really needs to take control of his life and understand that his actions have consequences, especially now.
So as strange as all this sounds, it has gotten stranger. Apparently about six weeks ago Straight Friend got a call from his ex girlfriend. She is pregnant with his child and is due in September. They decided that Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend are going to raise the child which is why they also decided to get married. The reason it has all taken so long is the girlfriend could not decide if she wanted to have the baby. She does not want to raise a child but Straight Friend and Gay Best Friend do. After she told him, she did a paternity test that showed the child is his. So the plan is they will get married over the summer and hopefully buy a house before the baby comes. I have some reservations about all this but are wishing them the best.
I have a close friend who is straight. He has just announced that he is marrying his gay best friend. He says he realized that though he is straight, he loves his gay best friend and wants to build a life with him. Both are in their early 30’s and are smart levelheaded successful professionals. The gay best friend has been in love with the straight guy for years but he only revealed his feelings a few years ago. At first the straight guy balked but after years of failing to find the right woman to build a life with, he decided to build that life with his best friend instead. He says that sex is only a minor part of their relationship. They both want the same things (marriage, home, children, etc.), have similar views and senses of humor and get along great. Being longtime friends they certainly know each other well. It is amazing to see them together. They are so happy.
I am happy for them but have to wonder if this will work out. Does anyone know of something like this happening before? Do you think it will work? Though reluctant I am optimistic. Am I wrong?
Wow. And Gay Best Friend isn't upset that Not-Really-Straight Friend and soon-to-be Husband was sleeping with his ex not that long ago?
What a mess. This guy really needs to take control of his life and understand that his actions have consequences, especially now.
Yes, it is complicated. Straight Friend says the pregnancy occurred the night he and his ex broke up. They had unprotected sex that night. After she broke up with him is when SF connected with Gay Best Friend. GBF consoled him and one thing led to another. Over the next two months they became a couple and decided to isolate together when that happened in March. A few weeks later the girlfriend called with the news.
I’m not sure how GBF reacted to the news initially but now is excited to be having a kid with SF. He is a really nice guy and will make a great father. I’m thinking he views this as a way to build a family with SF which is what they both wanted.
Yes, it is complicated. Straight Friend says the pregnancy occurred the night he and his ex broke up. They had unprotected sex that night. After she broke up with him is when SF connected with Gay Best Friend. GBF consoled him and one thing led to another. Over the next two months they became a couple and decided to isolate together when that happened in March. A few weeks later the girlfriend called with the news.
I’m not sure how GBF reacted to the news initially but now is excited to be having a kid with SF. He is a really nice guy and will make a great father. I’m thinking he views this as a way to build a family with SF which is what they both wanted.
It's just so convenient that he is happy and the ex doesn't want the baby. We will see if she still thinks that in September.
It's just so convenient that he is happy and the ex doesn't want the baby. We will see if she still thinks that in September.
How long did he date this ex?
He dated her for a couple years and was considering marriage when she broke up with him. I agree that she could still change her mind about giving up the baby when she has it which is why they have been cautious about broadcasting the news. The good thing though is that he has been proven to be the father so he will be listed as it on the baby’s birth certificate and he will have rights relating to that.
SF and GBF though say their marriage has nothing to do with the adoption. That just hastened their plans so that they are married before the baby is born.
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