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That's it right there. Do you have romantic feelings for this guy? Be honest (with yourself).
Or, do you feel slightly rejected, hurt... that he doesn't have romantic feelings for you? Even if you don't feel that way toward him.
It sounds to me that he is just a friend. And, he disappeared because he had met a girl he was interested in and was seeing her for a little while, then things didn't work out with her, and he wanted to talk to you... as a friend, because you're his friend.
I'm just not clear what you are upset about regarding him?
I do have romantic feelings for him and feel rejected. But the thing is I came clean about it many times. So wouldn't you stay away from someone that you aren't attracted to and knows this? Yeah I am his friend that is only good for when "He Needs Something". I'm that someone that is convenient to him.
I'm upset with myself for not staying away from him.
My 10c, stop contemplating his reasoning and start contemplating yours.
Block him again and be strong
It's all too easy to get sucked in by people like this, been there, done that, got that t shirt.
Think of this incident as a reminder of why you blocked him in the first place, print out your post and pin it to the fridge, if you are ever tempted to unblock him again, read it a time or two.
I know I need to put myself first and block him again. Thankyou I appreciate your opinion and need to blaster it on paper (STOP DO NOT TALK TO HIM LET HIM FIND ANOTHER SUCKER) lol
You have a really bad habit of being human and trying to see the best in people you have a connection to. This connection has never had any just conclusion so you reopen yourself up in a quest to get that conclusion and throw the caution caused by the history of this connection to the wind. I get it. You don’t want to put the old sick dog down but keeping him alive because you can’t deal with him being just gone and moving on just prolongs the inevitable and potentially puts the other dogs on the farm at risk for being compromised by the sickness.
Interesting analogy and yes so pertains to this situation. Yeah I need to stop being human and trying to see the best in him. But as a guy why would you keep bothering me when you have no interest in romance with a woman you have known for a long time? And no sex either? Just why?
But as a guy why would you keep bothering me when you have no interest in romance with a woman you have known for a long time? And no sex either? Just why?
I'm not a guy, and I'm sure the guys will weigh in on this too, but I think that he knows you like him, in that way, and he is flattered by the attention. And how you are always there for him. When he said all over Facebook - "why won't you talk to him?".... You quickly unblocked him and talked to him.
He takes you for granted because he knows you will always be there. And just because you haven't had sex lately, it is always "on the table"... in his mind.
Have you been dating anyone lately? I think once you have a guy you're seeing, who treats you with respect, that you won't be thinking that much about this guy. Or care what this guy is or isn't doing.
Don't waste your time thinking about what this guy is thinking. It's pointless really.
I do have romantic feelings for him and feel rejected. But the thing is I came clean about it many times. So wouldn't you stay away from someone that you aren't attracted to and knows this? Yeah I am his friend that is only good for when "He Needs Something". I'm that someone that is convenient to him.
I'm upset with myself for not staying away from him.
You said yourself that he was there for you during your stressful time with your new job, then he has a coworker die and a breakup. But you can't be there for him as a friend?
He has been honest and said he wants to only be friends, why can't you just accept that and be there for him as a friend the same way he was there for you when you needed it.
He could have just used you and didn't. I don't think he has done anything wrong really.
Interesting analogy and yes so pertains to this situation. Yeah I need to stop being human and trying to see the best in him. But as a guy why would you keep bothering me when you have no interest in romance with a woman you have known for a long time? And no sex either? Just why?
Do you have any other male friends?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
I do have romantic feelings for him and feel rejected. But the thing is I came clean about it many times. So wouldn't you stay away from someone that you aren't attracted to and knows this? Yeah I am his friend that is only good for when "He Needs Something". I'm that someone that is convenient to him.
I'm upset with myself for not staying away from him.
So him being there for you when you were stressed (even after you bailed on him) was convenient for him and "bothering" you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Well things went crazy with me getting a new job and I canceled my summer plans with him. Meanwhile he was there for me during my stress with my new job.
You have a really bad habit of being human and trying to see the best in people you have a connection to. This connection has never had any just conclusion so you reopen yourself up in a quest to get that conclusion and throw the caution caused by the history of this connection to the wind. I get it. You don’t want to put the old sick dog down but keeping him alive because you can’t deal with him being just gone and moving on just prolongs the inevitable and potentially puts the other dogs on the farm at risk for being compromised by the sickness.
That's pretty astute right there.
OP, IMO, you need to get back out there in the market, and meet some other guys, and then you will see that he's not the only fish in the sea, and not all that.
No I know him in real life. He's from my neighborhood and friends with mutual friends. We had benefits in the beginning but no more. I helped him through hard times, with family, shopped together for a picnic we were invited to, went out to dinners and did fun things with friends but we came together in his car. I think it's me giving in and hoping for the better. But he isn't innocent either.
Gotcha.
So there's definite history here then, I can understand the pull on the heartstrings..
I don't know, it's hard when you know you should leave somebody alone, but they were such a part of your life, and a good friendship's involved.
I'm sure you've already reevaluated your friendship with him- is it really a friendship or just...conveniently friendly sometimes, for him, or you...
It's a weird thing, sometimes a person can reject you, and then subconsciously you find yourself constantly seeking some type of validation from them. Only, it never comes and you get stuck in this loop...
You seem like a cool friend to have, so it's no wonder he wants to talk to you, but at the same time, the best of friends always get taken for granted...
I'm sure you probably already have a pretty good handle on the situation, it's just a matter of following thru
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Interesting analogy and yes so pertains to this situation. Yeah I need to stop being human and trying to see the best in him. But as a guy why would you keep bothering me when you have no interest in romance with a woman you have known for a long time? And no sex either? Just why?
Clearly there is a emotional high he gets off of you due to the fact he doesn’t have to commit to you because you are willing to provide his fix without demanding even general respect in return. Sometimes men crave power by being able to keep someone who they know is into them on a yo-yo of contact they can play with and get something from in a pinch and can put the yo-yo back without incident.
Some people, not just guys, like attention and when they're not getting any go to the person they know won't fail them. You're that person for him. You're giving him the attention boost his ego needs even though he has no interest in you. He's probably getting little to no attention with our current state of the country.
People like this often make excuses to reconnect. They need a favor, have a question, or accidentally on purpose text you when they meant to text someone else.
Don't fall for his games - you're not going to win and one of the reasons you keep playing is that you're hoping you will win.
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