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He could be one of the narcissistic types who adores only himself. Would you want to put up with that?
He wants you to work out more? Does he even understand what are you doing for living? I doubt...
Thank you so much for your reply. Well, he seemed understanding at first
Now that you mention it, I think he was proud to introduce me to his friends because of what I do, which is worrisome because I don't want to be a trophy
If he is only focused on physique, honestly you sound better than most. Very few people are thin or work out so if you are either, already you are ahead of the game
The number of fit guys out there outnumber fit women. Just more guys are into fitness, are athletic types. And not all require their partners to be athletic types.
I am a woman and for about a year I got really into fitness. I was restricting diet, working out. My body changed very fast. I was very slim and muscular. To be honest, I did not feel sexy this way. I didnt have soft womanly curves. My confidence in attracting men was lagging!
There were a few men in my life at that time and honestly, they liked me better a bit fatter, less muscular. They complained as I got leaner and put on muscle. They were attracted to women after all. Amd I found I felt less sexy too.
I am rambling on so much but my point is, find the body type you feel sexy with. Some men like the hard toned body type. Others like soft feminine curves. What makes you feel good?
If he is randomly shaming you on your body while you are healthy, sounds rude. Unless you find motivation in it to get in better shape. Its up to you what you find acceptable behavior in your partner.
Thank you so much
You're definitely right
I am starting to think I should not invest myself too much in this relationship
Let's say she has a high responsibility and time-consuming job.
I am asking this because I am currently dating a guy who seems really nice But he's really fit and he made it clear that he was interested in a girl at least as active as he is.
I work up to 60 (sometimes 70) hours a week.
I am much more educated than he is (not to sound pretentious !!). I love my job (I work in the medical field) but it's really demanding so I only work out during the week-ends.
He, on the other hand, has plenty of free time, and works out a lot ++++
However, I eat healthy (no processed food), am a vegetarian, non smoker and I am thin (BMI 18.5). I have a high metabolism so I don't gain weigh
But I just wonder if this would be a deal-breaker for you ? That's silly, but I am kind of worried
Thank you very much for your replies
You should be asking him, not us. If he has a problem with the fact that you can only exercise or work out on the weekends, while you're working 60-70 hr. weeks, that's ridiculous. You need someone who's on your wavelength, and appreciates you for what you do and what you are. Hopefully, you're at least able to make time for the relationship, yes? Or is there no relationship yet; you're just getting to know each other? In any case, it seems you're able to make time to date, right?
Frankly, if it were me, I'd be more concerned about the 70-hr. weeks. Are you planning to do that for the rest of your working life?
In any case, if he wants someone as active as he is, you don't fit the bill. Right? That's why you're posting here; because you know you're not able to meet his requirement. So maybe you should let him go, to look for someone who's a gym rat. You can find a better match, even though it seems that nice guys are unicorns. Keep looking.
Thank you so much for your reply. Well, he seemed understanding at first
Now that you mention it, I think he was proud to introduce me to his friends because of what I do, which is worrisome because I don't want to be a trophy
What is HE doing for living except spending hours to look handsome?
Perhaps yes, being much smarter and making more money you ARE a trophy to him.
You should be asking him, not us. If he has a problem with the fact that you can only exercise or work out on the weekends, while you're working 60-70 hr. weeks, that's ridiculous. You need someone who's on your wavelength, and appreciates you for what you do and what you are. Hopefully, you're at least able to make time for the relationship, yes? Or is there no relationship yet; you're just getting to know each other? In any case, it seems you're able to make time to date, right?
Frankly, if it were me, I'd be more concerned about the 70-hr. weeks. Are you planning to do that for the rest of your working life?
In any case, if he wants someone as active as he is, you don't fit the bill. Right? That's why you're posting here; because you know you're not able to meet his requirement. So maybe you should let him go, to look for someone who's a gym rat. You can find a better match, even though it seems that nice guys are unicorns. Keep looking.
Yes, I can make time for a relationship
I work crazy hours because I am in the emergency department right now, but my situation will change in a few months, fortunately
If he's well-rounded and well-read enough to capture and keep your interest, I would ignore his job, salary and education unless he embarrasses you with improper grammar or something of that nature. You might be passing up a real gem, so on this point alone, I'd give it a chance.
There are people who enjoy staying in and others who always have to be on the go. If you're not compatible in this way, it's going to be a struggle. Sometimes you can meet in the middle where the less active person is open to going with whatever the more adventurous one wants to do, and the go-getter is willing to sit home a few nights a week.
But these are things that require open communication.
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