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Old 05-11-2020, 09:53 AM
 
659 posts, read 468,855 times
Reputation: 437

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182 View Post
I'm not really sure what the difference is? If you want to consistently just hookup with him then that's a booty call. Sounds like you want to just date for the purpose of getting to know someone.

What were the excuses he was giving you for cancelling? Was it because of his kids? Or was he not even giving you an explanation?

Also if you've been out with him only twice and you've already slept with him, then yes it could be just about sex for him. I'm just saying sleeping with someone so early on without any exclusivity discussion can make it difficult to decipher the man's intentions.
Maybe there’s different opinions but a booty call to me is someone who just calls late at night strictly for sex. A hookup is someone you hang out with consistently that you have somewhat of a friendship and something more than just sex.

His first excuse for cancelling was he had a crazy week but didn’t specify why. The next week he just wouldn’t even make a definite plan even though I gave him 4 diff nights. Just felt that he didn’t really want to see me if he couldn’t even just pick one night.
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Old 05-11-2020, 03:34 PM
 
Location: (six-cent-dix-sept)
6,639 posts, read 4,546,425 times
Reputation: 4730
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I hung out 2 times with someone from online dating over a month ago. He was a good guy and I was starting to like him but it seemed he was using me as a backup. He wouldn’t make definite plans and was flakey. I ended up cutting it off and said we want different things. He then messaged me today saying happy Mother’s Day and saying he missed hanging out with me. I said I do too but I want someone more reliable. He just said “okay :-(“. Should I respond to that or ignore and move on ? Was annoyed he msg me because now I am thinking of him again. Why would he msg me again?! Ugh
he probably wants yoo as one of his jump-offs. some women accept it (no judgement -- hay, it's the 90's); but, since yoo want a significant relationship, yoo told him so hopefully he will leave yoo alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
It was but I would see that he would be going places per his online dating miles so it seemed he was dating others. And those were the nights we were supposed to potentially meet up. Should I ask him? I mean his response of “okay ;—( “ also didn’t seem that interested in reconnecting.
he probably had 3 potentials. he tried the first and it didnt work out; then, he tried the second and it didnt work out; and now, its your turn.

why would yoo get mad at him because he didnt put all his eggs in your (an internet stranger) basket ?
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Old 05-11-2020, 04:06 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,077 posts, read 18,469,364 times
Reputation: 74666
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
I'd guess he contacted you because he likes you. But it sounds like you're being difficult.
This! Someone sends you a "holiday" (obviously the day might have some meaning for you) greeting and you reply with a dismissal? How nice is that OP? All you needed to say was thanks.
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Old 05-11-2020, 04:12 PM
 
659 posts, read 468,855 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
This! Someone sends you a "holiday" (obviously the day might have some meaning for you) greeting and you reply with a dismissal? How nice is that OP? All you needed to say was thanks.
I did say thanks and hope all is well but then he started on the “he missed hanging out” so I said I did too but I want something more reliable. I don’t think that sounds mean ? I just spoke the truth.
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Old 05-11-2020, 04:16 PM
 
6,421 posts, read 3,918,078 times
Reputation: 17141
OP, if you're so torn about his possible intentions, why not just let him go? Is he the only man in the world or something?
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Old 05-11-2020, 04:21 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,077 posts, read 18,469,364 times
Reputation: 74666
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I did say thanks and hope all is well but then he started on the “he missed hanging out” so I said I did too but I want something more reliable. I don’t think that sounds mean ? I just spoke the truth.
Don't respond to the other stuff. I think you left the door open saying you missed hanging out.
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Old 05-11-2020, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,766,074 times
Reputation: 25362
Don't be dumb like me and take back a user. He probably says the same thing to 3-5 other women. Cut him off.
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Old 05-12-2020, 12:34 AM
 
21,108 posts, read 13,488,929 times
Reputation: 19722
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I did say thanks and hope all is well but then he started on the “he missed hanging out” so I said I did too but I want something more reliable. I don’t think that sounds mean ? I just spoke the truth.
Doesn't sound mean at all. You said you miss him too. And then spoke your mind on what you want. I know it's not a consolation now, but you are now free to meet someone who wants the same thing as you.
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Old 05-12-2020, 06:35 AM
 
659 posts, read 468,855 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
Doesn't sound mean at all. You said you miss him too. And then spoke your mind on what you want. I know it's not a consolation now, but you are now free to meet someone who wants the same thing as you.
Yea very true. Will take it as a learning experience and on to the next!! Thanks everyone for the advice !
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