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I read this wrong... you're trying to lose the chub. Gotcha... good luck! Just remember, abs don't make the man. Your personality makes you charming.
I'm pretty sure abs have helped Brad Pitt quite a bit in becoming the world's greatest sex symbol for the last 30+ years or so, and in return, he's amassed hundreds of millions of dollars.
That said, there's lots of attractive women who date men who aren't in their same league, looks wise. I remember when I was a young man and I had just gotten back from the beach with a bunch of lads, and this overweight guy had a very attractive woman sitting with him. Could've been his sister, but I got a strong vibe that she was his girlfriend.
Most attractive women aren't expecting a guy to be Robert Redford, OP.
I'm also not convinced of the common thinking that a certain body type is the only way that one is "healthy" or that it's automatically a matter of one's habits in eating and exercising that determine one's body type 100%.
One of the heaviest people that I've ever known (and I mean, known pretty well, well enough to know about his life)... I've often said that I have no idea at what point serious changes to his lifestyle would have had to be in place, for him to have not been a big dude. And I mean, really big. Over 400 lbs at times. I've known him since he was 15, and he's always been heavy. I never saw him overeat, and he was not any more sedentary than my 120 lb self. In fact, he's usually been far more active. I watched him be on strict diets for years, he had a personal trainer for a long while, there was a time in his 20s where he walked MILES all over DC pulling a cart of repair equipment for office machines (worked for Xerox.) Sometimes he worked 2 or 3 jobs, for a while he had a hardcore coke habit...things you'd think would make him thin, never ever did.
And yet here I am, eating whatever the hell I want and rarely exercising and being small and thin my entire life.
No one can tell me that basic genetics does not play perhaps the biggest role of all, in a person's body type. I got lucky. I'm a weird throwback to some long-ago ancestors, because no woman I know in either side of my family stayed thin after having kids and by this age, they all got kinda "mom shaped" at the least. Not me. Why? Luck. Or a thyroid issue. Who knows.
My fiance, as I mentioned, he's thicker around the middle than I am, but I'm pretty sure he's healthier, too.
I'm in a town with 5 active military installations, in a state known for its low obesity rates and tons of outdoor fitness activity. "Ripped" men make up the majority of the dating pool. But when I saw a bathroom selfie focusing on the six-pack on OK Cupid, I just rolled my eyes.
Granted, if I were personally obsessed with fitness, I'd probably look for a mate who could keep up with that. But that is a matter of LIFESTYLE, not just appearance. Compatibility in lifestyle matters a lot. My body shape is a coincidence, it's fairly peripheral to who I am. What mattered was finding a kinky nerdy guy to match with my kinky nerdy self. And the heavy friend I knew from high school? He hasn't struggled to find love. And it wasn't a "chubby" woman he married, either--but they have very compatible lifestyles, values systems, interests, and so on.
I'm pretty sure abs have helped Brad Pitt quite a bit in becoming the world's greatest sex symbol for the last 30+ years or so, and in return, he's amassed hundreds of millions of dollars.
That said, there's lots of attractive women who date men who aren't in their same league, looks wise. I remember when I was a young man and I had just gotten back from the beach with a bunch of lads, and this overweight guy had a very attractive woman sitting with him. Could've been his sister, but I got a strong vibe that she was his girlfriend.
Most attractive women aren't expecting a guy to be Robert Redford, OP.
Pssst, it wasn't his abs. Women can't see men's abs under their clothes. If they're crushing on a guy, especially a celebrity, it's usually because of an attractive face, and general trim appearance. If they're crushing on a guy IRL, it could be due to a combination of that and personality, or the personality they project onto the guy. Or just plain good looks.
Guys focus on abs, because that's what gyms and fitness mags push, to get them to join and/or buy stuff.
OP, when you say "Large/chubby" do you mean 5-10 and 190 lbs, or 5-10 and 600 lbs?
As to "abs", people store fat differently. In my 20s at 5-10 adn 145 lbs, in fantastic physical shape and 5% body fat, I had a little pudge around the middle. Visible abs on me would be a sign of serious malnutrition.
Awful lot of overweight guys out there with girlfriends and wives. Do you want someone shallow and appearance-obsessed (you might need the perfect body to appeal) or someone wise, witty, and warm (probably willing to overlook the fact that you don't look like a male supermodel)?
Pssst, it wasn't his abs. Women can't see men's abs under their clothes. If they're crushing on a guy, especially a celebrity, it's usually because of an attractive face, and general trim appearance. If they're crushing on a guy IRL, it could be due to a combination of that and personality, or the personality they project onto the guy. Or just plain good looks.
Guys focus on abs, because that's what gyms and fitness mags push, to get them to join and/or buy stuff.
Women can see abs when the shirt is off, which is what happens often when it's summer time, and when you work out, your shoulders widen and thicken and your biceps also become ''full''. Which helps women figure out easily if the dude's rocking a six-pack or not.
Then you wear a muscle shirt, and think about it as a man's lipstick - you buy a muscle shirt that is a size or two smaller than the ones who fit your body frame comfortable to make yourself look bigger.
Nah, Ruth, I have friends of mine who have quite an unattractive face, they're balding fast, and they're as charming as a wall made of bricks, and they still manage to hook up because there's lots of women out there who don't mind sleeping with a man whose face isn't going to make them swoon like Brad Pitt's did in Legends of The Fall, but who happens to hav a body like Michael Phelps.
A muscular body helps increasing a man's physical apperance in the eyes of many, many, many women by a LOT.
There's also plenty of women, usually younger women, who like that slender body Leonardo Dicaprio sported in the movie titled as The Beach.
Pssst, it wasn't his abs. Women can't see men's abs under their clothes. If they're crushing on a guy, especially a celebrity, it's usually because of an attractive face, and general trim appearance. If they're crushing on a guy IRL, it could be due to a combination of that and personality, or the personality they project onto the guy. Or just plain good looks.
Guys focus on abs, because that's what gyms and fitness mags push, to get them to join and/or buy stuff.
I'm just thinking about how actors have to gain and lose weight for roles, and how scary and awful I find that to be, personally.
Brad Pitt's abs...lol!!... Seriously, it's not his abs at all. If it's any of his physical features it's those full lips, soulful eyes, and sometimes long silky looking hair. But more than any of that? Makeup, wardrobe, and being constantly cast as moody, sensitive-but-damaged roles. He had good writers, good lighting, a whole crew making him look good. Women were not falling for Brad Pitt the man. We were all swoony over Louis the Vampire or Tristan the soulful wandering middle son. In other words? Fantasies of tragic romance.
Oh and besides gyms and fitness mags? Cartoons, comics, video games. I wish I had in front of me an argument well made by a woman, that was one of those viral things on Facebook at one point. She was complaining about how women in comics and so on are drawn for "the male gaze" and some guy said, "Yeah but look at the male characters with all those muscles, they were obviously drawn to appeal to women!" Uh...lol...like hell they were. They are male power fantasies. No woman in the history of ever has had a crush on He-Man. That's all you, guys. Not us.
(I did however really like the action figure of the cat that he rode on, it had real fuzzy stripes. Cool!)
I'm just thinking about how actors have to gain and lose weight for roles, and how scary and awful I find that to be, personally.
Brad Pitt's abs...lol!!... Seriously, it's not his abs at all. If it's any of his physical features it's those full lips, soulful eyes, and sometimes long silky looking hair. But more than any of that? Makeup, wardrobe, and being constantly cast as moody, sensitive-but-damaged roles. He had good writers, good lighting, a whole crew making him look good. Women were not falling for Brad Pitt the man. We were all swoony over Louis the Vampire or Tristan the soulful wandering middle son. In other words? Fantasies of tragic romance.
Oh and besides gyms and fitness mags? Cartoons, comics, video games. I wish I had in front of me an argument well made by a woman, that was one of those viral things on Facebook at one point. She was complaining about how women in comics and so on are drawn for "the male gaze" and some guy said, "Yeah but look at the male characters with all those muscles, they were obviously drawn to appeal to women!" Uh...lol...like hell they were. They are male power fantasies. No woman in the history of ever has had a crush on He-Man. That's all you, guys. Not us.
(I did however really like the action figure of the cat that he rode on, it had real fuzzy stripes. Cool!)
Yes, yes, but would he be getting physical roles like Fight Club, Troy, and Snatch if he was a scrawny guy with no abs definition or if he happened to be chubby?
Yes, I am aware he's a beautiful man. Easily the most beautiful man Hollywood has had in the last 50 years, and that's what I first noticed about him, what I told my mom, when she took me to the cinema to watch Interview With the Vampire. My first movie at the cinema ever, and the movie that's responsible for my life-long man-crush on Brad Pitt.
Look at actors these days, you gotta be packed with more muscles than a Spanish prized Bull if you want a job, at least one that pays you well enough to retire at the age of 30, and getting there, well lots of guys have to use artificial help and sometimes you don't want to take that extra step so your acting career is hurt real bad and you have to resort to indie movies to make ends meet.
Abs aren't just there to make you hot in the eyes of Spanish fashion models. They're there to make your life a lot easier by giving you the physical looks that YOU NEED to have in order to compete with Ryan Gosling or Ryan Gosling when it comes to roles.
Yes, yes, but would he be getting physical roles like Fight Club, Troy, and Snatch if he was a scrawny guy with no abs definition or if he happened to be chubby?
Yes, I am aware he's a beautiful man. Easily the most beautiful man Hollywood has had in the last 50 years, and that's what I first noticed about him, what I told my mom, when she took me to the cinema to watch Interview With the Vampire. My first movie at the cinema ever, and the movie that's responsible for my life-long man-crush on Brad Pitt.
Look at actors these days, you gotta be packed with more muscles than a Spanish prized Bull if you want a job, at least one that pays you well enough to retire at the age of 30, and getting there, well lots of guys have to use artificial help and sometimes you don't want to take that extra step so your acting career is hurt real bad and you have to resort to indie movies to make ends meet.
Abs aren't just there to make you hot in the eyes of Spanish fashion models. They're there to make your life a lot easier by giving you the physical looks that YOU NEED to have in order to compete with Ryan Gosling or Ryan Gosling when it comes to roles.
Right, who is doing those hiring decisions?
Men.
Maybe men who, like you, think they know what women want to see most. But still men. (If they think that they're making these ab-related-choices to appeal to women, they are projecting.)
Men competing against men, to impress other men, to get hired and paid...by men.
I'm not saying that no women get hot and bothered over a firefighter body, but what is even more intoxicating, by orders of magnitude to the female mind, is a bit of context.
Firefighter standing there shirtless. OK, sure.
Firefighter standing there holding a cat or puppy. Gazing up at the camera with his heart in his eyes and a barely almost smile touching his lips. OH MY FREAKING GOD. You're gonna sell so many calendars.
But men don't have the market cornered on unrealistic expectations about yourselves in relation to the competition. Nope, not one bit. If you have to think like you're competing with Ryan Gosling or whatever, that's gonna move some protein powders, fitness programs, gym memberships, gear...plenty of products to make you feel like you're doing all you can to compete.
Just like women spend fortunes on cosmetics, fashion, hair care, teeth whitening, fake breasts, fitness, diets, a thousand things we are told we must buy, because we just aren't good enough.
Men: Do generally pretty women in this world truly compete with Hollywood celebrities for your attention and interest? Should we feel unworthy of your love and inadequate if we don't measure up to that?
I think that most men would say no. So why do you put yourself through that kind of hell? Should any of us have to? I don't think so.
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